Intelligent men and air-heads

[Siúil a Rúin]

Intelligent men typically pay lip service to valuing intelligent women, but when it comes right down to it, i have seen more than i could ever count go completely buggy eyed over air-heads. They revel in the giggles, zanyness, the unpredictability, the complete inability to grasp the most basic concepts. They love that they are never challenged about intellectual or emotional topics. They rule as the king of the giggling, curly-haired zombies. Is it because hormones make you stupid, so stupid people must logically have the most raging hormones? Anyway, it gets old. I guess the intelligent women need to be on the hunt for the giggly men with their big, vacant peepers and muscles or whatever.

/mild rant

Seriously though, is there anything to this?

 

[Mycroft]

Lex Luthor Syndrome.

 

[Xander]

I'm soo not commenting on this.

I could get done over from both directions!!

 

[FDG]

I prefer intelligent women, but that's because I'm a dumb men.

Oh anyway to reply seriously to your questions. My problem with intelligent girls have always been that they want to study too much. This wouldn't be a key issue per se, but furthermore they want to study alone. Following, the fact that they never have time to go out with me. Of course, I don't see the point in being in a relationship with a girl that cannot actually date me because she is busy with intellectual matters. A balance has to be reached.

In some instances, I have been able to influence the girl towards a more sociable lifestyle. If this is achievable, harmony can be reached. Otherwise, I prefer an air-head I can actually talk to.

Luckily right now I'm with a girl that is both smart, and doesn't need to study too much. I don't think any men would prefer something better to something worse.

If you believe that IQ test statistics give a truthful representation of the distribution, we could also hypothesize that given that there are more genius-range men, and given that women are more equally spread along the axis, and given then that comparatively an "intelligent" men is likely to be more "intelligent" than a woman (but, on the other hand, there are more "intelligent" women overall than "intelligent" men overall, absolutely speaking), then most intelligent men will likely be in a relationship with a woman less intelligent than them (but, OTOH, most intelligent women will likely be in a relationship with men less intelligent than them!).

Another possibility: some air-heads actually have amazing brains that are showed only in private. Just as much as many smart girls have amazing sexual skills that are only showed in private, the opposite might also be true.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I prefer intelligent women, but that's because I'm a dumb men.

Flirt

If you believe that IQ test statistics give a truthful representation of the distribution, we could also hypothesize that given that there are more genius-range men, and given that women are more equally spread along the axis, and given then that comparatively an "intelligent" men is likely to be more "intelligent" than a woman (but, on the other hand, there are more "intelligent" women overall than "intelligent" men overall, absolutely speaking), then most intelligent men will likely be in a relationship with a woman less intelligent than them (but, OTOH, most intelligent women will likely be in a relationship with men less intelligent than them!).

A man has to have serious balls or a deep sense of denial to date a woman more intelligent than himself.

Another possibility: some air-heads actually have amazing brains that are showed only in private. Just as much as many smart girls have amazing sexual skills that are only showed in private, the opposite might also be true.

Is there any aspect of sexuality that can benefit from intelligence, nuance, perception? There's actually some relationship between mental acuity and sensitivity of the nervous system. Is there any aspect of intelligence that can benefit from air-headedness? One of these things is not like the other...

Food for thought.

 

[Xander]

To break my previous statement and risk the rollocking later, I actually was attracted to my partner Lori in part because she is unbothered by existentialism versus empiricism or if quantum physics is absolute truth or just another way point.

I have friends and stuff with whom I can argue the meaning of life. I now have a fiancée who I can settle down with and who can discuss such stuff but she'd much rather chat about getting a cat or something.

Variety is the spice of life not sameness.

 

[Totenkindly]

Another possibility: some air-heads actually have amazing brains that are showed only in private.

Oh! Just like Miss South Carolina!

 

[MacGuffin]

Are these air-heads physically attractive?

 

[FDG]

A man has to have serious balls or a deep sense of denial to date a woman more intelligent than himself.

Definitely. I woulnd't be able to do it. But given that as you say intelligent women actually know this, they might downplay their smarts up to the point of being likeable by the male of choice.

Is there any aspect of sexuality that can benefit from intelligence, nuance, perception? There's actually some relationship between mental acuity and sensitivity of the nervous system.

The most intelligent girl I've dated was also the one that had the easiest time getting an orgasm from both sex and fingering. I didn't think there was a correlation, but now that you mention it, that might be it.

Is there any aspect of intelligence that can benefit from air-headedness?

No, there isn't, but many air-headed women have a different, more freedom-oriented attitude towards life, whereas many - but not most - intelligent women have a more serious attitude. This might be one of the key differences that draw men towards them.

I understand you were trying to reverse the terms, but here there's a one-to-many correspondence.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Are these air-heads physically attractive?

Of course. And they're just spaced-out enough to not see you coming, so you're good.

Definitely. I woulnd't be able to do it. But given that as you say intelligent women actually know this, they might downplay their smarts up to the point of being likeable by the male of choice.

Very many of them do. It is still hard to pull it off consistently. It comes through with an accomplishment or something, then things become awkward. Sometimes the resulting ego stroking can almost take the form of an apology for being who you are. On the one hand it makes for a great filtering system.

I know the air-head holds appeal and there is some consolation when people are willing to admit it.

 

[heart]

I don't think it is too much different from women going ga-ga over men in uniform or a man who happens to speak with a foreign accent. Plenty of intelligent women end up in happy long term relationships so doesn't seem to me to be that big of a deal.

 

[ptgatsby]

I think it has do with something along these lines;

Women have the most control over dating and relationship, sex and procreation, etc. Therefore, each women who has a significant advantage can afford to be even more selective.Therefore, women with significant advantages invariably weed out a large amount of the male population.

Men, however, connect to looks more than other factors. That is to say, men don't value intelligence as much as looks, relative to how women value their own looks and intelligence. The end result is that women with intelligence have less competition than just attractive women (attractive women get attention in relation to the effort that men are willing to spend, intelligent women get attention in relation to the effor that men are willing to spend.) Assuming equal effort, the valuation for physical looks compared to intelligence means that the pool of men hunting for smart women is smaller.

End result: Smaller pool of men and less motivated men for intelligent women, larger pool of men and more motivated men for attractive women.

This doesn't work in reverse because the physical attraction bit is asymetrical (ie: and even anti-correlated, in that intelligence signals higher earning potentional, something women are more interested in relative to men)

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

Intelligent men typically pay lip service to valuing intelligent women, but when it comes right down to it, i have seen more than i could ever count go completely buggy eyed over air-heads. They revel in the giggles, zanyness, the unpredictability, the complete inability to grasp the most basic concepts. They love that they are never challenged about intellectual or emotional topics. They rule as the king of the giggling, curly-haired zombies. Is it because hormones make you stupid, so stupid people must logically have the most raging hormones? Anyway, it gets old. I guess the intelligent women need to be on the hunt for the giggly men with their big, vacant peepers and muscles or whatever.

/mild rant

Seriously though, is there anything to this?

I believe your premise is faulty. "giggles, zanyness, the unpredictability" does not equate to unintelligent, any more than seriousness equates to intelligence. This suggests that Robin Williams and Jim Carrey are total morons. Do you really think this is so?

Your premise is essentially that ESP's are much less intelligent than ISJ's. This is more an aspect of personality than it is intelligence. Some people are attracted to the steady and serious ISJ's and others prefer the outgoing and fun loving ESP's. It's totally a matter of personality and not preference.

 

[FDG]

I think it has do with something along these lines;

Women have the most control over dating and relationship, sex and procreation, etc. Therefore, each women who has a significant advantage can afford to be even more selective.Therefore, women with significant advantages invariably weed out a large amount of the male population.

Men, however, connect to looks more than other factors. That is to say, men don't value intelligence as much as looks, relative to how women value their own looks and intelligence. The end result is that women with intelligence have less competition than just attractive women (attractive women get attention in relation to the effort that men are willing to spend, intelligent women get attention in relation to the effor that men are willing to spend.) Assuming equal effort, the valuation for physical looks compared to intelligence means that the pool of men hunting for smart women is smaller.

End result: Smaller pool of men and less motivated men for intelligent women, larger pool of men and more motivated men for attractive women.

This doesn't work in reverse because the physical attraction bit is asymetrical (ie: and even anti-correlated, in that intelligence signals higher earning potentional, something women are more interested in relative to men)

I agree totally.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I believe your premise is faulty. "giggles, zanyness, the unpredictability" does not equate to unintelligent, any more than seriousness equates to intelligence. This suggests that Robin Williams and Jim Carrey are total morons. Do you really think this is so?

Your premise is essentially that ESP's are much less intelligent than ISJ's. This is more an aspect of personality than it is intelligence. Some people are attracted to the steady and serious ISJ's and others prefer the outgoing and fun loving ESP's. It's totally a matter of personality and not preference.

It's good of you to point that out. Although Jim Carey didn't really prove himself as more until he started doing more serious, philosophical work. It was partly tongue in cheek. Also, if you notice, my style of presentation was somewhat zany - this was intentional. Although, there is an aspect to giggling and saying incoherent things that suggests a woman to be an easy sexual target. Gotta admit, yes? Also, there is intelligent zany and stupid zany. Maybe it's Ni that enjoys reconciling opposites and exploring the absurd, but that is different than using randomness to demonstrate a lack of thinking.

Anyway, i think there is a difference between the situation for an above-average intelligence woman vs. extraordinary intelligence. When i think back on my female professors who have made national/international contributions in their fields, they are typically not married and have not had much success in relationships. The most sought after girls i remember from college were typically nursing or elementary ed majors. Women who are bright enough to do well, ambitious enough to have a stable, nurturing life, but not doing anything too unusual. Men appear very pragmatic in their choice of mate. I'm fortunate that it's been a while since i had to deal with this stuff. It just came to mind.

 

[FDG]

When i think back on my female professors who have made national/international contributions in their fields, they are typically not married and have not had much success in relationships

Refer to my observations. Unless serious demands are made from a person they lose their head of, these woman are unlikely to actually go on dates with their boyfriends; that way, relationships are impossible to develop due to a shift of focus towards career.

I also think you are mistaking intellectual success for actual intelligence - there are married women with children that don't have a career whose IQs are very high; I understand that the belief on internet and/or book-IQ tests is low, but my mother on Eyesnick's questionnaires consistently scores around 145; she does not hold a college degree, and has been a stay at home mother for all her life.

My gf's scores are around 150 (people will disbelieve me but hey, I don't really have any reason to lie). I had to work "hard" in order to make her more "sociable" because she was going down the path of overworking herself in solitude over intellectual matters. Fortunately (?) for some reason I have been able to make her fall hard so she forced herself to change her attitude towards life. I think most of the women you refer to would probably benefit from a change in attitude - but they likely do not know it before it happens. The good part is that when we play some game I always have to be full alert in order not to lose. She is smarter than me, but she's an introvert so she can't use her capabilities in some disciplines that require constant interaction with the outside world.

ptgasby: the scores are based on Eysenck's global test, probably not officially considered worthy, but I can give you the details if you wish.

 

[Wolf]

I can't stand stupid women; they are instantly-unattractive once they open their mouths. However, if they're not quite as bright, yet entertaining and low-maintenance, they're still just as attractive as someone that is much brighter, not as entertaining, and higher-maintenance.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I can't stand stupid women; they are instantly-unattractive once they open their mouths. However, if they're not quite as bright, yet entertaining and low-maintenance, they're still just as attractive as someone that is much brighter, not as entertaining, and higher-maintenance.

I think that hits the nail on the head. It is about what is easiest, and comfort levels. edit: Someone who helps the person relax and let go of responsibility, rather than challenging them. /edit.

Also women who focus on the surface are not as likely to get hurt by subtle rejection because it won't register as deeply. You can get by with a lot more without it being realized. That's the low-maintenance part. To use an example based on a friend of mine: a person could explicitly write someone off in no uncertain terms, then turn around and call them high maintenance for getting hurt. A highly perceptive woman will be aware of everything, possibly tolerating far more than the less perceptive. This occurs both for the good and bad of all the information.

 

[ptgatsby]

ptgasby: the scores are based on Eysenck's global test, probably not officially considered worthy, but I can give you the details if you wish.

I don't know much about the test, so I can't say... I didn't know he had a formal IQ test actually... his name only brings up the personality test.

If there is an easy link to a test/study on it, I'd be curious on how it fits comapred to modern IQ tests (distribution, SD, etc)

 

[Wolf]

You can't teach someone to be more entertaining or lower-maintenance.