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  1. #41
    Senior Member Rohsiph's Avatar
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    I want to be challenged by women. I admit an odd appeal to "flighty" types, but my interest dies very quickly whenever such flightiness is less indicative of a strong imagination than of actual "mental blankness."

    I am inspired by women who are more intelligent than me. Too bad (for me) all of the ones I know are married/engaged.

    Submissiveness turns me off.

    Note: I've never dated. eh . . .

  2. #42
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Sorry girls but we're all too few and far between. I have to live with it so I guess you ladies have to as well.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #43
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Maybe an opinion? Don't be belligerant, c'mon.
    If you took my response as belligerent, you are projecting. For your own sake, if that is your measure of hostility, never venture onto a AOL message board, for your own sake.

  4. #44
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    Default why smart men settle for dumb women.

    I think part of the problem is that most men choose "down", while most women choose "up" when it comes to socio-economic status and other status in partners.

    Most, if not all, men know this instinctively, so if a woman is of equal or greater intelligence to them they are likely to assume she will think they are trash. And statistically they are probably right.

    I read somewhere most single women are successful while most single men are economic under-achievers. This fits the theory, the men are looking for women even less sucessful than them while the women are competing over a tiny number of men above them. If the single women are angry about being single they need to take at least half the blame themselves.

    So a very intelligent woman may be overpoweringly facinating and attractive, but I would not hope for much.

    (But it's not universal so there's always hope).

  5. #45
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If you took my response as belligerent, you are projecting.
    And this, again, sounds belligerant to me. Sorry.

    There's also possibly a social influence part, although males may have personal preferences in intelligence terms, on the outside the idea is that scoring with a hot chick is the thing to do, not scoring with the highly skilled chemist (or business person, economist, etc.). These sorts of expectations probably seep into people's minds and have influence that way, or have more direct influence in terms of people feeling successful.
    If that's the motivation, it's pretty shitty. I think it's more lilkely that the highly skilled chemist/business woman doesn't have time for them.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    If that's the motivation, it's pretty shitty. I think it's more lilkely that the highly skilled chemist/business woman doesn't have time for them.
    Amount of time goes both ways, so if this were the only influence, successful men at jobs or other areas would also have trouble finding females to date/get married to them. There are also a number of effects that will add up to a person's choice, one of which is likely social influences/pressures.

  7. #47
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    This suggests that Robin Williams and Jim Carrey are total morons. Do you really think this is so?
    Uhm...
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  8. #48
    Member Mercurial's Avatar
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    Attraction drops to zero if I can't see them as potentially equal in that capacity. Being low-maintenance isn't enough to balance what they lack in the long-term.

    Typically, the intelligent ones I've met that aren't ()#*$&*()#$ing lunatics are either married, or lesbians.

    There's been a few, but the circumstances were a rolling disaster. Timing is something very important that bites a lot of people on the ass even if the relationship has been going over a year.

  9. #49
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    Amount of time goes both ways, so if this were the only influence, successful men at jobs or other areas would also have trouble finding females to date/get married to them. There are also a number of effects that will add up to a person's choice, one of which is likely social influences/pressures.
    And that's the stereotype isn't it? Men typically prioritize their time at work and career over relationships. Women have traditionally been conditioned to accept this as a 'male' trait. What if women rejected men who refused to stay at home to care for the family rather than developing a career?

    I know from experience and peers that intelligent women who actively develop intellectual pursuits can very much want a relationship and get turned down based on the stereotypes attributed to intellectually successful women. There have been few things i felt less in control of than interactions with men. It amazes me that men think women are in control. Such women aren't in control of relationships unless they are around men who surpass them intellectually. It sounds ironic, but it somehow turns out to be true at least some of the time.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #50
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I know from experience and peers that intelligent women who actively develop intellectual pursuits can very much want a relationship and get turned down based on the stereotypes attributed to intellectually successful women.
    (Disclaimer: The following paragraph is associative in nature. I do not believe that what I write necessarily applies to you, toonia, or your peers.)

    ---

    For all their intelligence, some intellectually successful women never seem to grasp that their physical femininity is a non-negligible part of their overall attractiveness and so they gain weight, eschew makeup, mangle their hair, overlook their body language, dress like one of the guys... These women should not jump to the conclusion that what is keeping them from becoming the object of men's desire is the force of their intellect. (I do understand where they are coming from - I thank my lucky stars that I learned this lesson early.)

    ---

    Irrespective of looks, it is true that some men are turned off by an intellectual personality, however, others are definitely attracted to it. Have you tried ENTPs, toonia?

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