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  1. #1
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Default Handle with care

    Driving home, heard Fiona Apple's Criminal on the radio.

    I've always found this line to be interesting: I've been careless with a delicate man...

    How do you respond to delicate people?

    Delicate in this question is neutral; it doesn't mean unreasonably sensitive. It can simply mean fragile or someone that needs to be handled gingerly, with a light touch. Do they frustrate you? Inspire you? Do you avoid them? Do they give you a chance to exercise your people skills?

    Not to exclude children but I'd like to contain this to adults because I think most people naturally soften their approach when dealing with children who's understanding hasn't matured yet.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  2. #2
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Driving home, heard Fiona Apple's Criminal on the radio.

    I've always found this line to be interesting: I've been careless with a delicate man...

    How do you respond to delicate people?

    Delicate in this question is neutral; it doesn't mean unreasonably sensitive. It can simply mean fragile or someone that needs to be handled gingerly, with a light touch. Do they frustrate you? Inspire you? Do you avoid them? Do they give you a chance to exercise your people skills?

    Not to exclude children but I'd like to contain this to adults because I think most people naturally soften their approach when dealing with children who's understanding hasn't matured yet.
    Well, I'm a delicate man, so you could practise on me.

  3. #3
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Anyone more delicate than I am will frustrate me at some point in time. I cater to them because I want to be catered to as well, and I know I'm more delicate than some people I know and interact with.. and I'd want to be afforded the same curteosy.

    It becomes a bother though when they're so sensitive that I cannot even communicate. I lose who I am because I lack myself in my friendship with them.. if it gets to that point, I drift away from those people. They need to be with someone that isn't as zealous as I am.
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  4. #4
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Anyone more delicate than I am will frustrate me at some point in time. I cater to them because I want to be catered to as well, and I know I'm more delicate than some people I know and interact with.. and I'd want to be afforded the same curteosy.

    It becomes a bother though when they're so sensitive that I cannot even communicate. I lose who I am because I lack myself in my friendship with them.. if it gets to that point, I drift away from those people. They need to be with someone that isn't as zealous as I am.
    I really couldn't have said it better myself.

    100% agreed.

  5. #5
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Proteanmix, really great point..

    I tend to get somewhat frustrated. With adults, I would hope that they're mature enough to communicate what's bothering them, 'constructively.'

    If i sense that their intentions/behavior are inconsistent, dishonest, insincere, lacks integrity, I don't bother wasting my time.

    If they clearly know that their behavior is NOT cool, then why act that way to begin with? Then play all victim about it? Makes me want to kick their rear. Not really, but internally I would. I find it aggravating when people cannot fess up to mistakes and project it off onto other people.

    Passive-aggressiveness is something I don't tolerate well. On the other hand, I do believe in resolving issues, given the right time, place, and space for people to 'sort their feelings' out.

  6. #6
    Member zillah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I've always found this line to be interesting: I've been careless with a delicate man...

    How do you respond to delicate people?

    Delicate in this question is neutral; it doesn't mean unreasonably sensitive. It can simply mean fragile or someone that needs to be handled gingerly, with a light touch. Do they frustrate you? Inspire you? Do you avoid them? Do they give you a chance to exercise your people skills?
    When you say delicate, I see Fi dominant people as delicate. They are not fragile, but they do need a lighter touch. I really like them. I have to consciously change the way I do things, tone it down, phrase things more gently. But I enjoy doing it. They bring out the protector in me. I find myself thinking about how to improve my people skills as a result of our interactions (e.g. how to be a better listener and draw them out more - my INFP friend hardly tells me anything unless I ask!).

  7. #7
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I work with some folks that could be considered delicate. They and I will be at the same place for a long time so I do try and treat them delicately as long as they are not negatively hampering other folks.

    Oddly the worst is an ISTJ, although there are a few ISFJs as well.

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