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  1. #51
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    ...what we feel resistance to is the very thing we should be looking at more closely.
    Quite so.

  2. #52
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Good luck Alex.

  3. #53
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    You have it exactly the wrong way round.

    Are you trying to be funny?
    No, because I am correct.

    People are called "empathic" when they feel another person's emotions. That's empathy. "I feel your pain," is empathy. "I'm sorry for your loss," is sympathy.
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  4. #54
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    Do you ever have these gut "hunches" that guide your decisions? I usually view emotional decisions as something like that.
    This. Does your body 'speak' to you? Like, do some options just make you sick inside, while other options make you feel a bit better? LISTEN to that. If your body does things that make you feel bad (guts twisting, tensing up), then it's telling you something bad, but if you feel relaxed or get a spring to your step, it's telling you something good.

    Illustrative example: Make a choice in your head. Say you decide to punch a puppy in the kidney to make you feel better. Envision that in your head. How does your body react? Does it flinch? Does the image make you want to punch a puppy? Alternative, say you decide to volunteer at a nursing home and do a show. Picture yourself in front of children and elderly, being the entertaining SOB you know you are, and everyone laughing and having a good time. How does your body react to that compared to the puppy punching scenario?

    You don't have to understand it, as that's not how you are wired. You just want a VERY rough outline and add some shading to your overall decision.

    So you envision the above. Does the thing that makes your guts feel a bit less tight align with your moral compass? Can you logically justify that action? If, for some reason, the puppy punching scenario makes you feel better, does that align to your values? No? Well, crap. Then my example sucked and I FAIL.

    However, if the second scenario made you feel better... does that align with your moral compass? Can you logically justify that? If so, guess what? You just learned how to read your emotions a bit better than you did when you woke up this morning. Congrats!

    The key to remember is that emotions are the shading and rough outline. As a T, your heaving duty lifting is done logically.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    1. How can your counselor be trying to tell you something for months? Why doesn't he just say it?? Seems incredible ineffective as a professional. (sorry, just my honest opinion)
    Yeah - I don't have confidence in your councilor either - and not just because of this.

  5. #55
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    No, because I am correct.

    People are called "empathic" when they feel another person's emotions. That's empathy. "I feel your pain," is empathy. "I'm sorry for your loss," is sympathy.
    Sorry, incorrect.

    em?pa?thy? ?
    –noun 1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

    sym?pa?thy? ?
    –noun 1. harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
    2. the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
    3. the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, esp. in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.

    'Nuff said.

    Clarification: this post of mine doesn't help wrt the overlap of "feeling other's feelings." I think there are other threads on this topic and I suppose the discussion of the difference should probably move there.
    Last edited by PeaceBaby; 04-27-2009 at 10:06 PM. Reason: added the clarification

  6. #56
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Sorry, incorrect.

    em?pa?thy? ?
    –noun 1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

    sym?pa?thy? ?
    –noun 1. harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
    2. the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
    3. the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, esp. in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.

    'Nuff said.
    Wait...I'm not seeing how this contradicts what he said. "I feel your pain" is the "vicarious experiencing of the feelings of another. You feel the other person's pain. "I'm sorry for your loss" is being sad for your friend, feeling compassion for their loss.
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  7. #57
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Empathy is when you can objectively identify or understand what a person is going through. You can imagine what they may be going through but your current feelings are not involved.

    Sympathy is when you can actually feel their pain.

  8. #58
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Empathy is when you can objectively identify or understand what a person is going through. You can imagine what they may be going through but your current feelings are not involved.

    Sympathy is when you can actually feel their pain.
    I think you have it reversed. This quoted bit is from dictionary.com. I have always taken empathy to mean the ability to actually personally experience the pain of others (because you share similar experience), while sympathy is the more objective one (like having pity on someone is a form of sympathy...you may not have had their experience, but you can sympathize with how they might be feeling).

    Both empathy and sympathy are feelings concerning other people. Sympathy is literally 'feeling with' - compassion for or commiseration with another person. Empathy, by contrast, is literally 'feeling into' - the ability to project one's personality into another person and more fully understand that person. Sympathy derives from Latin and Greek words meaning 'having a fellow feeling'. The term empathy originated in psychology (translation of a German term, c. 1903) and has now come to mean the ability to imagine or project oneself into another person's position and experience all the sensations involved in that position. You feel empathy when you've "been there", and sympathy when you haven't. Examples: We felt sympathy for the team members who tried hard but were not appreciated. / We felt empathy for children with asthma because their parents won't remove pets from the household.
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  9. #59
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Yes, the word vicarious complicates the definition. It is easy to intermingle the meanings, and indeed, when you compare dictionary definitions of the two words, they can both overlap and contradict each other as well.

    For me the distinction is this: empathy I identify with you, sympathy I commiserate with you.

    As added above, here is a thread on the topic for fun: Sympathy/Empathy

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Empathy is when you can objectively identify or understand what a person is going through. You can imagine what they may be going through but your current feelings are not involved.

    Sympathy is when you can actually feel their pain.
    This is exactly right.

    And it is important because empathy is so uniquely helpful.

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