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  1. #41
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    And it is a very simple and obvious exercise.
    But easier to not do than do.

  2. #42
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    ...having someone else say "Hey, that happens to me, too!" can be the difference between depression and motivation. I know this from my own experience, and I am very thankful for this forum in this regard.
    This forum is devoted to sympathy and is devoid of empathy.

    That is why I say this forum is for palliative care and that this forum is not for therapy.

  3. #43
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I feel empathy for what he is going through, but not sympathy.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I feel empathy for what he is going through, but not sympathy.
    Empathy means you know what he is feeling without feeling it yourself.

    But you are telling us you are feeling it yourself - so you are sympathising rather than empathising.

  5. #45
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Ok, I'm not going to go back and forth with this and I'm kind of tired of this thread now...

    It's empathy because I don't feel it, but I can identify his feeling because I have felt it before, sometime in the past. But that doesn't mean that I feel it now, on his behalf. So it's not sympathy.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Ok, I'm not going to go back and forth with this and I'm kind of tired of this thread now...

    It's empathy because I don't feel it, but I can identify his feeling because I have felt it before, sometime in the past. But that doesn't mean that I feel it now, on his behalf. So it's not sympathy.
    OK, so you are right and I am wrong.

    So you see we have already created our own little dysfunctional dyad.

  7. #47
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Empathy means you know what he is feeling without feeling it yourself.

    But you are telling us you are feeling it yourself - so you are sympathising rather than empathising.
    Empathy is feeling the same feelings.
    Sympathy is understanding the feelings, but not feeling them yourself.
    INFJ
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  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    Empathy is feeling the same feelings.
    Sympathy is understanding the feelings, but not feeling them yourself.
    You have it exactly the wrong way round.

    Are you trying to be funny?

  9. #49
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Ok, I'm not going to go back and forth with this and I'm kind of tired of this thread now...

    It's empathy because I don't feel it, but I can identify his feeling because I have felt it before, sometime in the past. But that doesn't mean that I feel it now, on his behalf. So it's not sympathy.
    Jenocyde, we understand each other, I appreciate your feedback, and apologize if you have been nailed by unecessary semantics in this thread as of late. You are correct, I don't need sympathy, but do appreciate your empathy, thanks my friend!

    PeaceBaby: REF: Agreed; that is why it is puzzling to me now that Halla is hesitant to try this exercise; it could represent an opportunity for real emotional growth.

    I am not hesitant to try it, I merely do not understand its utility and am in a position where I must make some pretty big choices soon, and have been cited by a counselor I have been working with as emotionally under-developed in comparison to my capability to think. My gut reaction? In times of crisis, go with what you know. Don't try out new weapons in the middle of a war, test them in a less mission critical environment.

    FINAL DECISION:
    I am taking a formal time out from any and all stresses which preclude me to make a decision that I am not willing to make at this time. I will finish my analysis as I deem necessary and will include the emotional component of decision making to the best degree possible, assuming I have not done so already in some integrated manner, as noted by Jenocyde.

    Although I think the "exercises" hokey, I will try them to see what happens. How can it hurt?

    I thank all of you for your insights, I have enjoyed the collective expansion of the issue I presented here, and will post a final outcome as soon as time and circumstance allow. Until then, rest well knowing that you have helped me with your comments, feedback, and the sharing of your life's experiences; and please don't bicker at each other anymore.

    Cheers to all!

    -Alex

  10. #50
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Hey, what happened to this thread? I went to eat dinner and bam, a whole bunch of new posts!

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Look, Halla is a grown man and he will do what's best for himself. He posted this because he wanted feedback on the methods. So I gave him my interpretation. He can take it or leave it.
    It's nice for you to share it. I'm sure it is appreciated.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    A feeling is felt - it's either good or bad, that's pretty much the extent of it. If it's good, I roll with it. If it's bad, I act on it. So of course feelings drive decisions. But I won't act even on a good feeling if it doesn't make logical sense to do so - I think we're all like that. Someone may be attractive, but that doesn't mean it makes sense to date that person. I think of all the pros and cons, the effect my decision will have on others, and the effect my decision will have on myself. Then I choose what seems the most logical and what seems will create the less damage down the road, for all parties involved. Later, I reflect on everything and I am then able (most often) to pinpoint what made the feeling good or bad. But the name of the feeling itself doesn't matter. The point is I felt something that spurred me to action.
    Cool; thanks for explaining how personal feelings influence your decisions.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    But in Halla's case, he has more than just his emotions to worry about.
    So you are aware of Halla's situation; you have additional info. That's fine, but appreciate that you have more facts to go with. I am supporting the idea of trying an emotional awareness exercise in the interest of personal growth. And sometimes, what we feel resistance to is the very thing we should be looking at more closely.

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