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  1. #21
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Identifying my feelings will never change the fact that I made my decision. It was sad to leave my alcoholic boyfriend, but I would never stay just because it was sad. I make decisions on logic, whether it sucks or not. And knowing a little bit about your situation, you have others depending on you - you can't succumb to emotions like other parties. Sometimes, you just have to be the strong one and make practical decisions. You can deal with your feelings from a safe vantage point later, but being in touch with them at that moment won't (or shouldn't) change what needs to happen. Don't beat yourself up for being yourself. Just my 2 cents...

    (also Fi is like the 7th function for us ExTPs, it's much easier and more natural to call on 3rd function Fe for help...)

  2. #22
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    I'm trying Pinky! I want to be a good boy!
    If you do your homework dutifully, we'll go for ice cream and roller derby, okay? Then I'll let you stay up until 10 before lights out.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #23
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Identifying my feelings will never change the fact that I made my decision. It was sad to leave my alcoholic boyfriend, but I would never stay just because it was sad. I make decisions on logic, whether it sucks or not. And knowing a little bit about your situation, you have others depending on you - you can't succumb to emotions like other parties. Sometimes, you just have to be the strong one and make practical decisions. You can deal with your feelings from a safe vantage point later, but being in touch with them at that moment won't (or shouldn't) change what needs to happen. Don't beat yourself up for being yourself. Just my 2 cents...

    (also Fi is like the 7th function for us ExTPs, it's much easier and more natural to call on 3rd function Fe for help...)
    You are sounding alot more sensible about all this than my counselor. I might just send you his next check. Maybe this is not the time to develop Fi, you make a damn good point there. I cannot succumb to emotions, that is for damn sure, if I did and felt my choice to be wrong later, I would serioulsy beat myself up over it very badly, and I'm not good at that, and don't want to risk needing to do it. Thanks Jen, seriously.

  4. #24
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    If you do your homework dutifully, we'll go for ice cream and roller derby, okay? Then I'll let you stay up until 10 before lights out.
    BWAHHHH!!!!! What about bowling???

  5. #25
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    ...and one more thing. You can't be a complete feel-o-tard because you must have felt something, or you wouldn't have acted on it. Just cause you can't identify that feeling beyond "uneasy", "pissed off" or "sad" doesn't mean you're broken. Good luck.

    EDIT: I'll take that check, though...

  6. #26
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    BWAHHHH!!!!! What about bowling???
    Now now, remember the last time? You ran down the lane and got yourself stuck in the pin-lift.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #27
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    ...and one more thing. You can't be a complete feel-o-tard because you must have felt something, or you wouldn't have acted on it. Just cause you can't identify that feeling beyond "uneasy", "pissed off" or "sad" doesn't mean you're broken. Good luck.

    EDIT: I'll take that check, though...
    You're the shit!

    Check's in the mail; it might bounce though...how about I mail you some bottle rockets instead?

  8. #28
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Now now, remember the last time? You ran down the lane and got yourself stuck in the pin-lift.
    That wasn't a vidoe game? Ohhh yeeeahhh. I've been repressing that - THANKS for the reminder though...

  9. #29
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    You're the shit!

    Check's in the mail; it might bounce though...how about I mail you some bottle rockets instead?
    No, you're the shit - you know how much I love explosives and you know they are illegal here... hahahahaha...

  10. #30
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    So I tell my counselor that if I had to place a wager of any magnitude on a decision that I had make using solely my emotions that I would not do it, and that I was begining to think I was emotionally retarded (for lack of a better term).

    He laughed and said he had been trying to tell me as such for a few months now. I've been called blunt, crass, and even cold many times throughout my life, but I never thought I would be paralyzed in decision making because of this, because I never believed that there were such things as decisions that had to be made soley with emotions, and that could not be setup in a spreadsheet.

    So, my homework is to develop my connectivity with my emotions so that I can become a better developed person.

    I have been taksed to ask myself questions (and answer them) such as:

    "How do I feel right now?"

    "Why do I feel this way?"

    "What in my past might be pre-disposing me to have these feelings?"

    Etc.

    Does this homework I've been assigned seem to be of potential benefit?

    Any other tactics that might work?

    Any that might work really quickly, maybe a video, or even a few bullet points?



    I'm officially a FEEL-o-tard!!!
    The problem is that this site is more about palliative care than therapy.

    In other words the members will, with the best intentions in the world, try to make you feel better.

    And your therapist plainly has no intention of trying to make you feel better.

    And the members, again with the best intentions in the world, are taking your side against your therapist.

    This is precisely what happens in a dysfunctional family - people take sides.

    Look at almost any divorce, and friends and family seem to compulsively take sides.

    This is all done with the best intentions in the world but the path to hell is paved with good intentions.

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