User Tag List

First 678910 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 131

  1. #71
    The Unwieldy Clawed One Falcarius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    COOL
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    Dino None
    Posts
    2,565

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    It's not the same thing. Fear of intimacy is tied up with fear of losing autonomy, of losing identity, of shutting off other options, of being exposed. Fear of rejection is more primitive, as Victor has suggested, it stems from a survival mechanism. You can outthink it.
    Yeah, I tend to agree with you.


    That said, it seems a blur to me when a fear of intimacy becomes a fear of rejection. I am pretty sure the main reasons for having a fear of intimacy can be broke down into a fear of betrayal, abandonment, and rejection in some way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalassa View Post
    Oh our 3rd person reference to ourselves denotes nothing more than we realize we are epic characters on the forum.

    Narcissism, plain and simple.

  2. #72
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    It caused me to sabotage myself. I would do things to make people reject me. In my opinion, I did it so I could be in control of the rejection... because of the intense fear of the pain of rejection...
    Since I was so sure I was going to be rejected eventually, I wanted to at least be in control of when I got rejected. Stupid... when you think about it. But even though I KNEW... AT THE TIME... that I was sabotaging myself, I couldn't stop myself.
    Interesting, I know a lot of people will sabotage themselves because of their fears but my desire to be accepted by those I admire is stronger than my fear of rejection so I don't push them away I just pull myself back a little and observe. Makes it particularly sucky when I'm dealing with someone who pushes people away.

    I need someone to validate my feelings.
    Doesn't have to be feelings they validate but something needs to be

    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Sometimes do you find that fear of rejection sneaks up on you and prevents from doing something on a subtle unconscious level or are you always aware of it's effects?
    Not really, besides holding back when I'm not sure of how others will react, it's more that it becomes something I'm aware of and then need to try to understand why. Thing is when fear of rejection/exposure holds me back it means I'm going against what I want to do, I can't help but be aware of that.

  3. #73
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    11,925

    Default

    For me, fear of rejection is based on the perceived notion of being untalented.

    For example, I never submitted my artwork into a gallery for fear that it wouldn't be accepted, creating a downward spiral for me to fall in.

    I fear making a fool of myself. Though, ironically, it doesn't really bother me when I'm joking around -- i.e. I'm not afraid of making a corny joke.

    But when it comes to things that I find (or once found) important, I paralyze myself in fear.

  4. #74
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    For me, fear of rejection is based on the perceived notion of being untalented.

    For example, I never submitted my artwork into a gallery for fear that it wouldn't be accepted, creating a downward spiral for me to fall in.
    This sounds familiar except for me it is with respect to feelings and emotional ties. I don't bother even trying because the rejection (even perceived) is painful. I just dont bother participating at all.

  5. #75
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Cheers, doc.
    I play with people who know me intimately too.
    O RLY? I didn't notice! O WOW!

    Victor alienates people with his weird, self-indulgent digressions. Who is he close to on this board?
    Eh. I'd defend him if he got into a fight at a bar. To be honest, I'm not really close with too many people either, and my digress -- OMGI'MVICTOR.

  6. #76
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    1,123

    Default

    Fear of Rejection...

    Ok my brain scattered in twenty directions when I started reading this post so I guess I have to break it down to make even a little bit of sense.

    Fear implies that I'm scared of what someone's answer might be. Usually I don't care much one way or the other what someone thinks of me, the things I do, create or enjoy unless they are already close to me (IE Family, Close Friends or a Romantic Partner). Not caring (maybe 'caring' isnt the right word... maybe not letting others' opinions determine my actions?) what others think tends to make it hard to be afraid of what they might say or think.

    If there is someone I'm trying to impress, maybe a potential boss or someone I'd like to try some savvy INTJ flirting with (How YOU doin? ) there may be a kind of anxiety wondering what they perceive in me, but I'm not really afraid of it because ultimately it won't affect my personal sense of 'self'. At the worst case it could make things more difficult if a bad reaction works poorly in my 'plan' and I'd be forced to reconsider my options.

    Rejection is ... exactly where my thoughts take off in all directions. I find myself thinking "At what point? In what kind of situation? Group rejection? Relationship rejection? Long term/intimate disclosure rejection?"

    I have no problem giving my phone number to a stranger if I think he's cute, although my intentions may be completely hidden by extremely poor flirting... I once gave a cute guy who helped me with my car a business card of mine and told him I'd fix his computer for free if he ever needed it. In this type of instance I figure what the heck, its a stranger that I'll probably never see again and if he rejects me, doesn't call, or throws my number on the ground like toxic waste, I haven't lost anything. I don't take it personally because they don't know me personally.

    Rejection gets trickier when you get into relationships that matter. Over the years I've determined that its easier to work in a job environment where I more or less 'fit in' and get along with everyone, so I work hard at maintaining a peace with my co-workers and stay friendly with them all, even if it is difficult sometimes. (Office door comes in handy a lot) If I were to be rejected by the group it wouldn't necessarily make me insecure... it would probably result in me trying to find another job though where I could fit in easier. (Probably why I've ended up in the IT world with the other computer dorks ) In this instance, it actually matters what people think because it directly benefits my own happiness and longevity at my job. It isn't a personal thing, just a 'this needs to be in place for me to be able to focus on work' kind of thing.

    Relationship rejection is harder still. When you're in a new relationship, everyone (consciously or not) tries to put their 'best foot forward'. You don't necessarily want to show everyone what a weirdo you are on the first date, right? I gather from what others say that it takes me a very long time to open up, and even longer to trust someone. If, at any point before the 'trust' stage, the other person rejects me I figure its their problem, not mine and that we just arent compatible. BUT! Let that rejection come after I've already opened up a lot and they know a lot about me, where each little tidbit that I've revealed to them came at the expense of losing a piece of my own carefully constructed and guarded walls... you'll see a completely insecure, F driven mess. THAT kind of rejection shakes me to the core and I start kicking myself, thinking surely I should have seen a sign somewhere to tell me, warn me that this person was not worthy of knowing such intimate things about me. I replay events, conversations and try to decipher the code so that 'NEXT TIME' I'll 'know'.

    Embrace the possibilities.

  7. #77
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,536

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    OMGI'MVICTOR.
    So am I, mate, I know how you feel.

  8. #78
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    LOL

  9. #79
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,009

    Default

    I don't really have a fear of rejection. What I have is a fear of disappointment. I know I will, invariably, find myself feeling let down in some way so I just avoid the whole mess in the first place. As an NT it's pretty easy to rationalize the whole process.

  10. #80
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Im particularly interested in NTs perspectives but anyone can chip in.

    I'm wondering how big of a role fear of rejection plays in your relationships and what it stems from. NTs are notorious for withholding their deeper feelings from others and can take a long time to truly open up but shut down in a matter of seconds if the other persons reaction is unexpected or unwanted.

    So what does it take for someone to get you to open up? What role does fear of rejection play in your relationships (not just romantic ones)? And how is this linked to your self image?
    Intresting, I always thought intp to be the least likely to think about opening up.

    I cant really contribute to your question though. I quitted on opening up, its to taxing.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

Similar Threads

  1. [INTP] INTP and Fear of Rejection
    By greenfairy in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-11-2012, 01:09 AM
  2. [NF] Sensitivity and fear of rejection in foruming. Anyone else?
    By souffle in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 12-10-2009, 09:44 PM
  3. fear of being center of attention
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 09-13-2008, 07:50 PM
  4. What underlies the fear of rejection?
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-25-2008, 01:08 AM
  5. [ENFP] ENFP: Lack of Fear of Germs?
    By Usehername in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 01-16-2008, 11:12 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO