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  1. #121
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  2. #122
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by antireconciler View Post
    Cliche Cat is waved like a hijab by the rainbow people.

    Kittens and rainbows are in the front line of the order of battle.

    No cliche is wasted, and no cliche is too much.

    We shall simply bore them into submission, cliche after cliche.

    Our depression industriously produces cliche, after cliche, after cliche.

    We will bury you under a never ending barrage of cliches.

    Until it clicks that you have no right to joie de vivre, no right to the freshly minted word, that your unalterable fate is to be depressed like us.

    All you need to do is pretend and pretend and pretend to love kittens and rainbows and depression will follow as the night the day.

    Trust no one over 30! - No, trust no one who doesn't love kittens and rainbows.

    For no one who loves kittens and rainbows can be all bad - can they?

  3. #123
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    The bigger the issue the other person makes of my fear the bigger the fear grows. If, let's say, someone sees/feels this fear in me and tries to make everything in his power to make it easier on me, the more awkard I become. Because now it's "an issue". And the awkardness continues to expand. But there are just people who can make that fear disappear by just being a certain way. I can't explain that well. It's more like the overall vibe. I think it could be an I/E thing. Being able to read the extravert better makes me feel more comfortable around one. Whereas introverts may hide to the quietness of their shells to contemplate, and when you have 2 of them, it can be a problem. Not necessarily though.

    I tend to observe the person that is entering my circle. I usually have no expectations (except for the worst, mebbe). I kind of lay back and try to get to know the person as well as possible. I have to figure them out at first. If it happens that after a prolonged period they're still around, and I've gotten comfortable with them & I know them, it's then when I give them the benefit of doubt and let them in. It's a switch from coldness > warmness.

    It's because generally speaking, I don't trust people.

  4. #124
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Cliche Cat is waved like a hijab by the rainbow people.

    Kittens and rainbows are in the front line of the order of battle.

    No cliche is wasted, and no cliche is too much.

    We shall simply bore them into submission, cliche after cliche.

    Our depression industriously produces cliche, after cliche, after cliche.

    We will bury you under a never ending barrage of cliches.

    Until it clicks that you have no right to joie de vivre, no right to the freshly minted word, that your unalterable fate is to be depressed like us.

    All you need to do is pretend and pretend and pretend to love kittens and rainbows and depression will follow as the night the day.

    Trust no one over 30! No, trust no one who doesn't love kittens and rainbows.

    For no one who loves kittens and rainbows can be all bad - can they?
    Of course. The first thing a troubled man seeks is that he is normal; if his peers tell him he is normal he will feel better - however troubled his peers are.

    The depression industry offers a cure, but cares about profit only. Like built in obsolesence it guarantees future custom. The depression industry is the Wizard of Oz.

    But there's a problem. They'd rather see you sick and unhealthy because if you are healthy you naturally begin to focus on what a bunch of charlatons they really are.

    And as Victor knows to his chagrin, no one likes to be told the Emperor is naked. Even if it's the truth.

  5. #125
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bananatrombones View Post
    And as Victor knows to his chagrin, no one likes to be told the Emperor is naked.
    How true. We are plagued by naked emperors.

  6. #126
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Gave this some thought and think it's mostly this for me.

    For me it's that I fear not knowing while waiting in suspense for the answer, an answer that has to be given to me, one that I can not force out of someone or find on my own.

    Fear of uncertainty coupled with the knowledge it is out of my own hands to ascertain, rather then the fear of rejection.
    Fear of uncertainty? Uncertainty is only frightening because the outcome may be rejection.
    Fear of loss of control? Only frightening because the decision may not be in your favour. I.e. you may be rejected. Otherwise you would merely experience frustration, not fear.

    Fear is nothing to be frightened of.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #127
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Well, once rejected, the feeling is gone and I'm fine with moving on. So. Do I really fear rejection then?

  8. #128
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Well, once rejected, the feeling is gone and I'm fine with moving on. So. Do I really fear rejection then?
    Yup. That's what fear of rejection is. For me the irrational fear of rejection bothers me but being rejected doesn't faze me, I move on straight away and usually see how it's created opportunities rather than how it sucked.

    Not being able to handle rejection and having a fear of it are two very different beasts.

  9. #129
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I suppose, just feels more that the reason I have that fear is because of the suspense and uncertainty, and nothing to do with being rejected or not. But only to do with having to wait for the 'results'.

  10. #130
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Yup. That's what fear of rejection is. For me the irrational fear of rejection bothers me but being rejected doesn't faze me, I move on straight away and usually see how it's created opportunities rather than how it sucked.

    Not being able to handle rejection and having a fear of it are two very different beasts.
    You know for me, the fear of rejection is less as I sort of live behind walls, however once I offer my rainbow colored insides up and get rejected it is very hard to keep moving. If open to others and rejected, even a perceived rejection, it hurts very much. I think Ne goes a little bonkers and starts seeing "possibilities" that are not really there. I see an action and then misattribute the motivations of the other person, and assume that I have some sort of flaw that initiated the response. This then cycles into a mess.

    I am getting good at picking out the behavorial pattern though and stopping the "seeing of endless possibilities" before it cycles into too much sadness. I still feel some pain but I try to look inside myself for confidence and try and remember the relationships with others that I truly care for and I find this helps.

    My Ne spider sits in the middle of its web and when a string gets severed, I can remain balanced by plucking the other strings to be sure they are still there and remebering the possibilities in those relationships.

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