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  1. #101
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Not if we eat them first!!


    nom nom nom
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha

  2. #102
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'll throw your feelings a tasty cheese biscuit, so it can't eat you!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #103
    Senior Member Anonymous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'll throw your feelings a tasty cheese biscuit, so it can't eat you!
    What if our feelings are lactose intolerant?

  4. #104
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
    What if our feelings are lactose intolerant?
    Mine like pizza, and brains.
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha

  5. #105

    Default

    This thread is devolving nicely
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  6. #106
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    ...when I "pretend I'm acceptable"...
    When you pretend you are acceptable, you are pretending.

    You are not really acceptable, you are pretending you are acceptable.

    And when you tailor yourself to someone else, quite naturally they will accept you - why wouldn't they?

    Pretence, though, eats away at our authentic self until we are nothing more than an acceptable pretence.

    And before long, the only people who will accept us are the pretentious.

    We recognise each other instantly with a glance or a body movement - we whisper to one another, "You pretend to accept me, and I will pretend to accept you".

    This is called the mutual protection racket.

  7. #107
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    When you pretend you are acceptable, you are pretending.Pretence, though, eats away at our authentic self until we are nothing more than an acceptable pretence.
    No. Fear eats the soul. - pretence is the cover, not the mattress.

  8. #108
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    This thread is devolving nicely
    Here, let me help.


  9. #109
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I'm wondering how big of a role fear of rejection plays in your relationships and what it stems from. NTs are notorious for withholding their deeper feelings from others and can take a long time to truly open up but shut down in a matter of seconds if the other persons reaction is unexpected or unwanted.

    So what does it take for someone to get you to open up? What role does fear of rejection play in your relationships (not just romantic ones)? And how is this linked to your self image?
    I'm definitely a "long time to open up, shut down in a flash" type. Even my best friends don't really know me well (actually, I probably share here more than anywhere else, other than occasional conversations with family)...

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
    I dunno, I'm not sure if I fear rejection as much as I fear failure.
    This is a lot of it for me, too. I tend to see rejection as failure, though. It's the "why wasn't I good enough?" thing. Objectively, I know that it might have nothing to do with that, but it does trigger the failure reflex, as it were. I (absolutely unrealistically, I know) tend to expect myself to excel in every possible situation... and when I'm given definitive proof that I can't - even if only in the opinion of someone else (even a stranger), it can be pretty devastating.

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I like being able to hold people at arm's length, and if I ever really connected with someone and built a relationship, I would no longer be able to be an island.
    I don't think that I'm this way by nature, really... but longtime habits have sort of driven me in this same direction. I went out with someone a few times a couple of months ago, and I think that this is part of the reason it didn't last. Spending a lot of time alone has made me almost hyperindependent, and although proximity seemed connective to me, in retrospect we clearly weren't really connecting after our first meeting. Not coincidentally, she seemed interested after that first evening, and nonchalant-to-cool after that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    But what about the unrealised fear? Actual rejection is quite different to an irrational fear.
    Good point... Rejection sucks, but once it's over, it's usually over. Anticipation of rejection and dwelling on it ahead of time (or the "what if I'd been rejected" when you avoided the opportunity) is much worse.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I fear making a fool of myself. Though, ironically, it doesn't really bother me when I'm joking around -- i.e. I'm not afraid of making a corny joke.

    But when it comes to things that I find (or once found) important, I paralyze myself in fear.
    Never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Uber (). I'll do some crazy or silly things given very little provocation - but only with the understanding that it's a joke, a performance of some sort, or an "I've never done this before, it's not the end of the world if I'm not good at it" situation (although I'll still expect myself to surprise people with how well I do).

    In the end, yes. I tend to take rejection as a personal failing. I tend not to put myself in situations where it's a likely outcome (not proud of that - trying to get better).
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #110
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
    What if our feelings are lactose intolerant?
    Soy cheese alternative. Made with real alternatives.

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    This thread is devolving nicely
    *zen chimes*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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