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  1. #11
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    If I'm not feeling any particular emotions one way or another, I don't think I should be expected to have an answer to the "How are you feeling?" question.

    If I try and force out an answer, I just have to take a super vague hint of what might be a feeling or notion, and expound on it until I can use words to describe it, and by then I'm just trying to label things that aren't there.

    So I don't think I'm hiding from emotions. I certainly experience them. I just think that my emotions aren't doing much of anything a lot of the time, so they usually aren't pronounced enough to be made readily apparent to me.

  2. #12
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    1. Are you naturally aware of how you are feeling throughout the day, or only when you call attention to it?

    I am naturally aware, it would be weird not knowing how I was feeling throughout the day. This is probably Fi.

    2. When you do call attention to it, can you identify what your feeling? How good are you discriminating between different feelings? How many different feelings (or shades of feelings) can you identify?

    Yes. I am excellent at discriminating between feelings, I can pretty much instantly tell how I am feeling. There's way too many to list with the different feelings, it would take me a long time.

    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?

    I'm not sure that I really need any. The best thing for me to do is to pinpoint the source of my feelings (a physical thing perhaps) so that I can take care of it if it's a bad mood.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  3. #13
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    1. Are you naturally aware of how you are feeling throughout the day, or only when you call attention to it?

    I'm only aware of my feelings if I call attention to them, and my attention is often elsewhere. Therefore I am not usually aware of my feelings throughout the day.

    2. When you do call attention to it, can you identify what you're feeling? How good are you discriminating between different feelings? How many different feelings (or shades of feelings) can you identify?

    When I do turn my attention towards feelings, I can discriminate between the basic emotions like "sad" or "happy." Actually, I'm having some difficulty coming up with the names of more emotions while writing this post (I'm actually thinking of a facial expressions chart I have in an art book ). Unless it's severe sadness, anger, infatuation or exhilaration, I don't pay much notice to my emotions, and so I haven't really built up much of an emotional vocabulary.

    A lot of times, though, if I become aware of a unique emotion that I'm experiencing that I haven't ever experienced before, I will become fascinated by it and want to talk about it to others, as though it's something novel and worth commenting on. People will then look at me weird because I'll be talking excitedly about, say, a feeling of utter hopelessness. Or they'll think I'm weird because I'm talking about the feeling as though it's something remarkable, when everyone else in the world already experiences this emotion and finds talking about it to be banal.

    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?

    I always think that analyzing my feelings more would give me more of a vocabulary of feeling. Similar to schoolwork, if I would just concentrate long enough on how I feel, I would be able to discriminate between the different shades of feelings. I have a sort of dull awareness that something like, say, sadness comes in different flavors and gets tinged frequently by other emotions. I have just never taken the time to find out what those are and analyze the differences between them.

    If I asked you to tell me right now how you are feeling, what would you say?

    Well, if this were being asked by someone to my face, I'd not know what to say, and any feelings I may have had would be quickly replaced (as you mentioned) by anxiety.

    But since I have time and space to think about it, I guess I'd say that I feel a generalized undercurrent of anxiety right now.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  4. #14
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    1. Are you naturallly aware of how you are feeling throughout the day, or only when you call attention to it?

    Only when I call attention to it.
    2. When you do call attention to it, can you identify what your feeling? How good are you discriminating between different feelings? How many different feelings (or shades of feelings) can you identify?
    Yea, I'm pretty good at identifying feelings. Usually it takes a little while if I'm feeling 2 or 3 feelings all at once. I can recognize when i'm sad, fearful, or anxious. (Or atleast, I find it most helpful to recognize these feelings, so I can take steps to move past them.)
    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?[/QUOTE]
    Sometimes when I have a bad day, I go back through what happened throughout the day. I identify things that precipitated certain feelings. I think about them. I think about what to do in a case like that the next time, and then often when i'm faced with similar situations I can identify the feeling immediately since i've already meditated about it. Again, most helpful with unneccissary anxiety.

  5. #15
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Wow, awesome answers so far. Part of my confusion, like Victor said, is that I'm really, really empathic, but I have trouble identifying my own feelings. To me, that's strange. A question to the group I should have asked:

    If I asked you to tell me right now how you are feeling, what would you say?

    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    I have a hard time with this, too, especially when pressure is put on me to answer. I can see it clearer at other times, but never fully clear... Or maybe I know, but just cannot articulate it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Maybe it's just about knowing what words to attach.
    That's a good point. There are two possibilities that I can see:

    1. I'm not registering how I'm feeling.
    2. I'm not able to label what I am experiencing.

    It's interesting because if the question throws someone off, their experience (whatever it is) would likely be replaced by anxiety anyway. Hm.

    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    It's like a step up from your basic box of crayons in terms of number of shades.
    I like that analogy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    I'm all right distinguishing one shade of an emotion from another, the problem is always the time it takes to do so. I have to process and analyse a lot of what was happening and what I was thinking before I can have a clear idea of what emotion I was feeling at the time. Even then, the result is skewed because it's based off of memory.
    Very interesting. How many different shades of anger or anxiety or sadness or happiness can you identify? Can you describe some of the distinguishing features of each shade?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle
    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?

    Probably by writing about them. I find that once I've sat down and written a description of the feeling, it makes more sense to me and the definition is catalogued for later use. All of these definitions are described in figurative language, drawing parallels between different concepts to create an understanding of what the feeling is like when it has been experienced. I actually enjoy doing this quite a lot, as it allows me to explore my emotions on a "detached" abstract level that feels more comfortable with the way I process the world.
    Very very cool. I did something like this a while ago but not for every feeling, just anxiety. I did notice a few different prominent thought patterns -- self-critical, deprecating, dissipating -- but the feeling was generally the same, some feeling of generalized dread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    But it's interesting Edahn, although I recognise you as a decent person, I have always felt protective of you. Perhaps this is because immediate feelings are blind spot for you, and so as a good seeing-eye dog, or a good immediate-feeling dog, I look out, or feel out for you. I tug on my collar and say, "Look out for the gutter Edahn - look out for this feeling". Or I say, "Look out for the car Edahn - or look out for that feeling".
    Just as any good feeling dog would do.
    Interesting. I see lots of similarities between us, actually. I even become a little protective of you myself. Weird. I've never noticed you being protective of me, though. I also don't really read your posts. LOL. (No offense, though.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor.
    But it all brings up an interesting question - what is my blind spot?

    And what kind of seeing-eye dog do I need?
    I'm not going to turn this into a therapy session, but I do want to ask YOU a question: are you comfortable and at ease when you post here? Do you amuse yourself and are you amused by others? Sometimes I wonder, Vic.

    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    If I'm not feeling any particular emotions one way or another, I don't think I should be expected to have an answer to the "How are you feeling?" question.

    If I try and force out an answer, I just have to take a super vague hint of what might be a feeling or notion, and expound on it until I can use words to describe it, and by then I'm just trying to label things that aren't there.

    So I don't think I'm hiding from emotions. I certainly experience them. I just think that my emotions aren't doing much of anything a lot of the time, so they usually aren't pronounced enough to be made readily apparent to me.
    You, FMW and Orangey and I, I think, have the same experience. All four of us are also NT, and I lean towards introversion a lot. I wonder if it has something to do with spending too much time in our head. On the other hand, maybe there's just nothing strong going on to deserve a label.

  6. #16
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    1. Are you naturallly aware of how you are feeling throughout the day, or only when you call attention to it?
    I feel my obvious, expressed, subtle, nonexpressed and other feelings at least in a passing way when not thinking about them. Think about them in depth, I can immediately think about at least 2-3 levels of them, and specifify them more when aided.

    For some perioids of time (2-3 hours or so) I might disregard certain class of feelings, not being particularly sensitive for them for the time. It's from expreience, like I know it's not effective to consider myself for the insecurities of someone insecure while I have to do something, so I dismiss it entirely on a decision for the time.

    My own feelings? I'm much aware of them, in a calm manner.
    2. When you do call attention to it, can you identify what your feeling? How good are you discriminating between different feelings? How many different feelings (or shades of feelings) can you identify?
    Perhaps 30-60 feelings, some of them not describable with a common word. I don't feel extremely lot; sometimes I find someone claiming I feel thing X (guesswork) when in fact it's only probable a person in my situation would feel so, but just recognize the possibility, and don't feel much unless I open up a chance to really feel it.

    It's possible I externalize a lot. Jealousy? It's something someone might feel in this situation. I feel it a bit, but it doesn't really apply.

    Insecurity? Not in a manner of not being seen as capable or respectable, but perhaps in a manner of not belonging to a group.

    So yes I think I recognize feelings and the shades of them quite well.

    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?
    I think my recognition of my feelings is great, my Ti and Fi having been my top functions for quite some time in my past. I'm seeking no improvement in this regard.

    As an additional note, I don't think it's the apec of my humanity to recognize my feelings. I'm doing that fine. The next step is to work out with them, and the feelings others are having, in a way that promotes good fellowship and interaction with one another. I have opinions on this that don't always go along with the most "mature" or "conventional" views on the subjects.

    This is something I have to work out.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #17
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    There's way too many to list with the different feelings, it would take me a long time.
    Could you give maybe a couple examples? I like to hear how people describe these things.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  8. #18
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I would too, Black.

  9. #19
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Lolz, I was just talking with my friend about this two days ago! How we process our emotions and how we and others know what we're feeling. I'm noticing at work the people who are capable of expressing their feelings more are viewed as more effective communicators.

    I'm more or less looking for the effects/ repercussions of not doing this and how it affects workplace relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    1. Are you naturallly aware of how you are feeling throughout the day, or only when you call attention to it?
    I feel like I'm pretty good at knowing what I'm feeling, when I'm feeling it.

    I know generally, my feelings don't sneak up on me. But usually I don't even feel like I own my feelings, they're just there. I'm like, oh, Exasperation is here for dinner. Oh, Disappointment wants to go to the movies next weekend. Where's Joy and Elation? I haven't heard from them in a minute!

    That's what I mean when I know what I'm feeling. They're just there. Most of the time I do what they tell me to do. That's why I feel like I'm an impulsive person.

    2. When you do call attention to it, can you identify what your feeling? How good are you discriminating between different feelings? How many different feelings (or shades of feelings) can you identify?
    OK, since I seem to be in a negative emotion mood right now (I'm also still at work, ugh) I can tell you exactly what the main feeling I'm feeling followed by the little duckling feelings that accompany it.

    Frustrated>powerless>unappreciated>underrated>disp ensable>trapped
    optionless

    Is this what you mean?

    3. How would you go about improving your ability to identify your feelings?
    What more or less happens is I'm learning to trace cause and effect with my feelings. Identifying the source of my feelings and how I feel about that. I just wonder what to do with the source of the feelings. Most of the time the source it's another person or a situation. Sometimes there is no immediate way out of a situation or away from a source of emotion. I can't always extricate myself from sources of negative emotion, so I'm figuring out how to deal with these sources.

    I don't know, I have to think about how "refined" I want my own internal thermometer to be. I know that when I attempt to do this it feels unnaturally egocentric. But at the same time when people say they don't know what they feel, I think to myself how can you not know what you're feeling? I don't know, maybe somebody have lots of fiber in their emotional diet and others don't.

    Wow I just realized how absolutely extroverted feeling my answers are. I don't want to use the language of MBTI to describe this but it happened anyway.

    I feel like most of my emotions happen outside of me and come into me and then they become mine. I can throw them back out again with my own spin but I'm not quite sure if they're internally generated. I also tend to confirm if I'm feeling the "right way" about something or if I have a right to feel the way I feel about something's with close friends, probably due to low introverted judgment.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  10. #20
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I often feel calm and content and mildly blank. (Present, more than blank, I guess.) My mind is just here and i'm satisfied. So theres no reason to try to identify feelings. I can easily put words to feelings when asked, but I'm not usually thinking about them unless i'm on a big giant mood swing.

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