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View Poll Results: Generally what's your first internal reaction to unsolicited praise about appearance?

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  • (swoon) Hey, don't stop there, keep going!

    3 8.11%
  • You know, I could really start to enjoy this!

    9 24.32%
  • Okay, I'm flattered... but I'm *really* trying to get something done right now... so please move.

    20 54.05%
  • How transparent! Go away, pig!

    5 13.51%
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  1. #11
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    All right -- to expand a little, how about in welcome threads or "What We Look Like" threads?

    There, I suppose you have more control over how you present yourself and whether you even bother, so you're prepared for a potential post like "OMG UR so HOT!" or whatever else.

    Does it ever get old after awhile, or does it feel like people are just reacting to what you look like, rather than "you" per se?
    Oh. That? I have no worries. I am relatively plain and there are some real cuties/hotties around to take the heat.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    All right -- to expand a little, how about in welcome threads or "What We Look Like" threads?

    There, I suppose you have more control over how you present yourself and whether you even bother, so you're prepared for a potential post like "OMG UR so HOT!" or whatever else.

    Does it ever get old after awhile, or does it feel like people are just reacting to what you look like, rather than "you" per se?
    It gets old if it seems obligatory. I usually appreciate it, even though I'm not 'available'. I think a quick response compliment is on the same level as the value of a person's external looks, so it's reasonably matched. I guess when it comes to compliments on my mind, I really don't 'need' those emotionally. Still, they do mean a great deal coming from someone I respect. I'm not as secure about my looks as I am my mind, so the shallow compliments are more useful to me there. It's also why I give them out readily as well - in case someone else needs a boost. Gawd, that was just way too honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    My guess is that if women are getting creeped out by your flattery you aren't doing it right. Backhanded flattery is almost always a winner. It's when you deliver it directly and sincerely and look for a response that women will rightly be unsettled and suspicious.
    Dude, then am I a man or something? Direct and sincere is exactly what I look for. That's different than entitled, needy, and controlling.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  3. #13
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Oh. That? I have no worries. I am relatively plain and there are some real cuties/hotties around to take the heat.
    Huh. I thought you were very attractive.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #14
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Huh. I thought you were very attractive.
    me2

  5. #15
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Huh. I thought you were very attractive.
    Oh no cafe, now you've done it.

    I think you are beautiful and delicate like a pixie or an elf. You have a cute, slightly articulated nose and chin. You have that little spark of fire like a firefly. Are you creeped out yet?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    All right -- to expand a little, how about in welcome threads or "What We Look Like" threads?

    There, I suppose you have more control over how you present yourself and whether you even bother, so you're prepared for a potential post like "OMG UR so HOT!" or whatever else.

    Does it ever get old after awhile, or does it feel like people are just reacting to what you look like, rather than "you" per se?
    Alright you narrowed it down a bit. I will say that I intentionally waited a few months to post a pic on INTPc. I wanted to establish my personality before putting what I look like out there. Looks to me are secondary in importance. I didn't mind receiving compliments after that. I am self-conscious so I was actually hoping that there would be some! I think when getting to know other forum members in a community in which you plan to stay it is nice to know what they look like. I don't think it should matter but in a sense it does.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  7. #17
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Excerpt from "Do I Creep You Out?"

    Everytime I shake your hand now
    Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
    Do I creep you out?

    Call you every night and hang up, whoa, up
    Gonna carve your name in my leg
    In my leg
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #18
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'm now afraid that if I ask, Daphne will compare me to a dwarf matriarch. Beardless, so not a prize specimen, but close.

    Maybe a halfling/hobbit? I do have a little fuzz on the ol' toes.

    I like getting compliments and I almost never anticipate them, so I usually think the second option. Except for my hair. I do have glorious hair and receive compliments on it almost daily, or at least as often as I see my mother.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Excerpt from "Do I Creep You Out?"

    Everytime I shake your hand now
    Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
    Do I creep you out?

    Call you every night and hang up, whoa, up
    Gonna carve your name in my leg
    In my leg
    LMAO that is so hilarious you were reading my mind!! I have been listening to that CD everyday for about a week now!! I told one of my guy friends IRL that song reminded me of him-he got the message!!
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  10. #20
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    Fortunato can you add another option for some of us.

    Since I am not use to flattery and am not expecting it, it comes as a shock.

    I think for myself b/c I grew up very sheltered and protected (my brother would have killed many for the mere glance my way) I just kinda shy away from attention and tend to not really notice it. That's not to say it doesn't happen. I just tend to be oblivious to it.
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

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