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  1. #1
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default Sugar and Sympathy

    Sympathy feels good. It feels good to sympathise. And it feels good to be sympathised with.

    And when we feel good, it is natural to think we are good.

    But sympathy is poisonous. Sympathy is the white sugar of the emotional world.

    Sympathy means to feel the same as, so sympathy adds nothing, like sugar.

    Sympathy only reinforces what we are feeling.

    Sympathy does not allow the feeling to flow and develop into other feelings.

    Sympathy is uniquely unhelpful.

    Yet it is the norm to seek sympathy here.

    Which leads to nastiness when we don't feel and think the same.

    Are we addicted to the white sugar of sympathy?

  2. #2
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    Yes Victor, don't we all need a catch of self-reflection every now-and-then...

    Sympathy is a good thing at times. Maybe not, at other times.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    sugar makes the medicine go down
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Many people consider sympathy derogatory and in some cases it is. Pity is condescending. People who help the unfortunate are often not viewing the people at eye level. Respecting someone deeply leads to viewing their strengths. When you encourage someone by reminding them of their strengths and why you believe they can make it through a difficult time, then you are viewing them with admiration and not in a condescending manner as though they are helpless to their troubles.

    There can be a time to just listen or even cry with someone, but when that initial pain is released, it is comforting to remind the person of their strengths and not make them feel trapped in their weakness.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Many people consider sympathy derogatory and in some cases it is. Pity is condescending. People who help the unfortunate are often not viewing the people at eye level. Respecting someone deeply leads to viewing their strengths. When you encourage someone by reminding them of their strengths and why you believe they can make it through a difficult time, then you are viewing them with admiration and not in a condescending manner as though they are helpless to their troubles.

    There can be a time to just listen or even cry with someone, but when that initial pain is released, it is comforting to remind the person of their strengths and not make them feel trapped in their weakness.
    Agreed.

    Life, huh?

  6. #6
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Didn't you hear, carbs are evil.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  7. #7
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Many people consider sympathy derogatory and in some cases it is. Pity is condescending. People who help the unfortunate are often not viewing the people at eye level. Respecting someone deeply leads to viewing their strengths. When you encourage someone by reminding them of their strengths and why you believe they can make it through a difficult time, then you are viewing them with admiration and not in a condescending manner as though they are helpless to their troubles.

    There can be a time to just listen or even cry with someone, but when that initial pain is released, it is comforting to remind the person of their strengths and not make them feel trapped in their weakness.
    Sympathy means to feel the same as, while empathy means to feel with.

    So with sympathy you feel the same as, while with empathy you know what the person is feeling, but without necessarily feeling the same yourself.

    And this is uniquely helpful.

    And empathy is what you will get with a good therapist, not sympathy.

    Sympathy is dime store cheap, while empathy, like reading and writing, must be learnt.

    So if you want to discover your own creativity, your own voice and your own style, seek empathy.

    But if you want to conform, seek sympathy.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Well, most people give others empathy, not sympathy.

  9. #9
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor
    I'm tired of your cheap comments.
    You have you're own private thread victoria.
    So why send private messages.

    Narcoleptia's a bitch boy. Thanks for sharing. Always a pleasure.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  10. #10
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    sugar makes the medicine go down
    It does Erin, but how much better to have a green smoothie packed with vitamins and minerals - wholesome, nutritious and delicious.

    And remember dear Erin, what you eat today, walks and talks tomorrow.

    So if what you eat today is wholesome, nutritious and delicious, tomorrow you will be wholesome, nutritious and delicious.

    But then I find it very hard not to believe you are not already wholesome, nutritious and delicious.

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