User Tag List

First 4567 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 63

  1. #51
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Socionics
    B.S.
    Posts
    1,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    you must not have experienced it but that does not make it so. you can hurt for someone else...it's an emotional pain...it's certainly not the same as a smashed finger and i suspect you'd probably have to be a pretty emotional person to understand.
    I'm not denying that empathy exists, I was just setting the foundation straight because Victor was using the term rather loosely.

    While empathy and sympathy are different by definition do you think they blend together? I'm not sure if I've ever felt pain for someone without feeling bad for them.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  2. #52
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    yes i do...i don't think you could have empathy without sympathy.

    sympathy just seems like a more detached reaction.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #53
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    But that's a good example -- when someone around me has a smashed finger, my stomach clenches repeatedly and I get shocks in the palms of my hands, and if there's blood, maybe get lightheaded -- but all that doesn't keep me from jumping up and getting ice and bandaids or whatever seems to be needed. If anything, it makes me jump up faster. Sympathy is a catalyst rather than an inhibitor. When someone sympathizes with me, I feel strengthened and better able to deal with the situation.

    If I can see that you don't feel me, whatever you say doesn't matter much. I don't trust that you understand the situation if I can't see that you feel it.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    yes i do...i don't think you could have empathy without sympathy.

    sympathy just seems like a more detached reaction.
    Does it to you? I see it as much more attached in sort of an icky way if it is carried too far. Example: some forums I've been on someone will post an ugly news story such as a child being abducted and murdered and there will be this effusive outpouring of sympathy in a thread that just seems to hang on to the sadness of it all the the extent of being unhealthy preoccupation. And also beginning to sound insincere, I might add.

    Something else besides sympathy for another is being served there, I think.

    I suppose empathy to the extreme would also be attached in a way which could be unhealthy. I certainly do understand your statement about seeming to be able to feel someone else's emotional pain and it was troubling to me for many years.

    I'd end up scratching my head and wondering exactly whose pain it was that I was experiencing.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #55
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    i guess you're right anja. i guess i'm just speaking about how i personally experience the two.
    i know when i feel sympathetic towards someone i just want to make them happy or feel cared for in some way...i might feel like doing some gesture to show i care and then i go on about my business.
    when i feel empathetic...say i'm listening to a story about someones lost love...or stories about their troubled childhood...i feel really broken up about it...broken hearted...and it stays with me much longer...but i still feel sympathy too i guess and want to help lift their spirits a bit by showing them how strong they are now having gone through it...or the valuable lessons they learned or something

    what am i even talking about? i think it's late...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #56
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    ... they [sympathy and empathy] are both similar enough that you couldn't tell them apart on a brain scan.
    We perceive by making distinctions.

    And the more distinctions, the more we see.

    And if we don't learn new distinctions, we blind ourselves.

    The distinction between sympathy and empathy is more than 3,000 years old.

    It is well worth learning.

    But there is enormous resistance.

    So it is the resistance that is most important.

    What is the resistance?

  7. #57
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,351

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Sure, your husband is sympathising with you.

    Naturally he feels the same as you, and he feels uncomfortable, so he tries to fix his discomfort.

    ...
    I disagree with this assessment... because my husband... indeed most husbands, do the same thing.

    My husband doesn't feel my pain, he feels his own pain at having an unhappy wife. It's too bad he's too dense to know that he should put his arm around me... and just sit quietly with me for a bit... and maybe let me talk about my feelings and get them out in the open with someone who's supposed to care... and say, I know how you feel... I don't blame you for feeling that way... I'd feel the same way if I were you...

    There. Feelings validated. Trauma over. Move on with life.

  8. #58
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,351

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I don't think sharing someone's pain keeps me from being able to help them. For me, also, feeling what other people feel is not counter-intuitive. I've never been any other way. If anything, I've had to learn to disengage (and I'm still not very good at it).

    So I dunno, Victor. I'm still confused.
    I agree with you.
    Keep doing it your own way.
    I'm sure you're helping.

  9. #59
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,351

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    But that's a good example -- when someone around me has a smashed finger, my stomach clenches repeatedly and I get shocks in the palms of my hands, and if there's blood, maybe get lightheaded -- but all that doesn't keep me from jumping up and getting ice and bandaids or whatever seems to be needed. If anything, it makes me jump up faster. Sympathy is a catalyst rather than an inhibitor. When someone sympathizes with me, I feel strengthened and better able to deal with the situation.

    If I can see that you don't feel me, whatever you say doesn't matter much. I don't trust that you understand the situation if I can't see that you feel it.
    ExACtly!

  10. #60
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,351

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    No one can literally feel another persons pain. It's physically impossible.

    Secondly there is no innate knowledge. So both empathy and sympathy come as response to stimuli. Which one comes easier is up for debate, I don't know enough about neuroscience to have any answers. I'd hazard a guess that they are both similar enough that you couldn't tell them apart on a brain scan.
    I agree with both of these points.

    Some people feel neither empathy nor sympathy and need to learn both.

Similar Threads

  1. Category and Sympathy
    By Mole in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-12-2010, 12:52 PM
  2. Empathy and Sympathy??
    By alcea rosea in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 05-17-2009, 04:27 AM
  3. Sympathy and Respect: Defining Definitions
    By heart in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 06-01-2008, 01:33 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO