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  1. #41
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    the dictionary says empathy is the ability to share and understand the feelings of another...that's what i do.

    and sympathy is to feel pity or sorrow for someone...i do that to at times but only with people i don't know...usually i empathize with people that are close to me but that does not mean i'm hurt to the degree they are and i can still help them.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #42
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    I would emphasise that sympathy and empathy are both good.

    However empathy does need to be formally learnt, just like reading and writing.

    Empathy can't be done naturally, like sympathy.

    And empathy can't be willed, any more than reading and writing can be willed.

    And like reading and writing, empathy needs to be learnt and practised in a formal setting.

    All of us like to think we are good empathic people, when we are in fact good sympathetic people.

    To discover that we have never learnt to empathise is a blow to the ego.

    Just as not being able to read and write is a blow to the ego.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I don't think sharing someone's pain keeps me from being able to help them. For me, also, feeling what other people feel is not counter-intuitive. I've never been any other way. If anything, I've had to learn to disengage (and I'm still not very good at it).

    So I dunno, Victor. I'm still confused.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I don't think sharing someone's pain keeps me from being able to help them. For me, also, feeling what other people feel is not counter-intuitive. I've never been any other way. If anything, I've had to learn to disengage (and I'm still not very good at it).

    So I dunno, Victor. I'm still confused.
    Learning to empathise is like learning to ride a bicycle.

    Talking about balance doesn't help much, but getting on the bicycle and falling off, give you the experience of being balanced and being unbalanced.

    So you learn the distinction between balance and unbalanced.

    In the same way you learn to empathise by practising it.

    At first you wont' be able to do it, so you need to start off right at the very beginning.

    You need to learn to master some very simple rules at first.

    And as you practise these rules you start to get a feel for what empathy is all about.

    And as you start to get your 'balance' in empathy, you can take the rules further and further, just as you take your bike further and further as you get more confidence.

    However it is very important to master the simple rules of empathy first, just as it is important to learn to balance on your bike, before you take trips into the countryside.

    It's like learning any new skill - you need to learn the basics first, and it is important to learn them in a formal setting.

  5. #45
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    I would emphasise that sympathy and empathy are both good.

    However empathy does need to be formally learnt, just like reading and writing.

    Empathy can't be done naturally, like sympathy.

    And empathy can't be willed, any more than reading and writing can be willed.

    And like reading and writing, empathy needs to be learnt and practised in a formal setting.

    All of us like to think we are good empathic people, when we are in fact good sympathetic people.

    To discover that we have never learnt to empathise is a blow to the ego.

    Just as not being able to read and write is a blow to the ego.
    well..sorry to say it but i believe the opposite to be true.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    well..sorry to say it but i believe the opposite to be true.
    I know, I was hoping to win you over to my side.

  7. #47
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't do sides victor.

    i walk the line
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    i don't do sides victor.

    i walk the line
    Alas.

  9. #49
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    No one can literally feel another persons pain. It's physically impossible.

    Secondly there is no innate knowledge. So both empathy and sympathy come as response to stimuli. Which one comes easier is up for debate, I don't know enough about neuroscience to have any answers. I'd hazard a guess that they are both similar enough that you couldn't tell them apart on a brain scan.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  10. #50
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    you must not have experienced it but that does not make it so. you can hurt for someone else...it's an emotional pain...it's certainly not the same as a smashed finger and i suspect you'd probably have to be a pretty emotional person to understand.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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