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  1. #31
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Half my life I heard negative comments about introversion and it's truly BS. Introversion is simply the way that I deal with personal energy.

    But society lables it "bad."
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #32
    Senior Member IrishStallion819's Avatar
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    Oh... I'm not talking about being popular. I mean that I really don't have any friends, and that I need a way to reach out to people.

    I know I'm probably not a loser in that sense... but I do have the problem of not being able to move forward.
    Oh, I was talking to MrME.
    "People often Find out the truth, when its too late!!!"

    Introverted (I) 78.79% Intuitive (N) 61.54% Feeling (F) 65.85% Judging (J) 60.53%

  3. #33
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    I'm a proud introvert. I have no desire to change, and you can't make me!

  4. #34
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Ahem.

    Short answer: I have no friends, I have no job, I don't go to school. I just lay around in front of the computer and sleep all day, waiting to be fed. Kind of like a housecat with a computer replacing the yarn.
    It's so hard to address these kinds of problems on an Internet forum. I'd give you a hug, if I could. It would take a lot of chatting back and forth before I was able to boil my thoughts and feelings down to something I could write here, but I can't.

    We all get into situations that seem all-around bad. I was a part of the dot-com boom in California in the mid-90s. When the bottom of that fell out, I found myself in waaaayyy over my head. I couldn't find a job for the life of me and I eventually had to move 2000 miles back home to live in my mother's condo for about four months. That was one of the most demoralizing years in my life. I quickly found myself in a similar position to the one you're describing. I was spending days upon days upon weeks just staying home, fiddling on the Internet, and watching TV. I'm an EXTREME introvert, but even this was too much for me.

    So, I looked through the local news rag and found a job at a coffee shop, making a wage that was just barely over minimum. It was enough to get me out of the house and a little more active.

    Also, do you know if there are any community clinics near you? Seeing a counselor for your depression might be very helpful -- INFJs respond very quickly to therapy, believe it or not. You'll find it to be a great relief when you can just let go and emote with a confidant. If you have a community clinic near you, you could even consider volunteering. Again, it'll get you out and about.

    Hopefully at least one of my suggestions will help.

    And remember that YOU are not defined by your situation.
    INFJ
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  5. #35
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, I was using the term figuratively more than literally.

    I was using it more to mean that I don't know how to move forward, that I keep getting stuck in the same place. I don't really care about "winning."
    I can partially relate Athenian. More and more the idea of a career seems to me like something that is forced upon us. And I can also see how meeting people can get harder and harder.

    I've been more alone the past year then I ever had before. I can't really complain, because I have some friends, but I'm losing contact with them as time goes by. It's sometimes tough to swallow but in the end no one is going to save us if we don't do it ourselves. I'm not going to meet new people by sitting around all day. I'm not going to enjoy myself by staying in a college course that I hate. That's why I've decided to change things. Everything is a good excuse to explore. New school, new job, new environment. I know I won't change unless I get out. I'm privileged because I'm young and have support but personally, I think nothing but a radical measure can improve a "stuck in a rut" situation. Obviously I know nothing about you or the details of your situation, but I thought I'd share regardless.

  6. #36
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    Don't believe me? The Intertoobs say so:

    Defeat Introversion

    Heh, when I read this it makes me think of a "Morpheous" type from the Matrix offering everyone only the blue pills. (Or maybe a reverse red pill. Something like that.)
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  7. #37
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    So, create novelty.

    Now's a good time to put on a blindfold and jump in somewhere. Anywhere, really. Except your Ni will mostly be warning of all the things that aren't worth doing. So, you should be putting out feelers of some kind, gathering information about "opportunities," bizarre things that you haven't done before but which ring up scary bells in your intuition.
    This is some EXCELLENT advice!
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  8. #38
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Half my life I heard negative comments about introversion and it's truly BS. Introversion is simply the way that I deal with personal energy.

    But society lables it "bad."
    Yeah, the most successful people tend to be more introverted than extraverted. I don't give a fuck what the public masses think, you don't have to be extraverted to be successful or happy. There are billions of examples of that throughout history.

  9. #39
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    I'm not sure that answering to one clich with another is the solution chosen.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  10. #40
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I'm definitely an IJ, for what it's worth. Probably INFJ. That sounds about right... but that's just it. I don't have any idea how to survive if I just jump in somewhere, and there's no one to help me figure it out. I don't really feel like I have anything to fall back on.
    Well, for me, back then, after college, after the first job played out, I stayed at home in my apartment coasting on the money I hadn't spent doing that first job. (There's the introvert's advantage: no life, a little money goes a long way). Of course, money was eventually going to be a problem, so I started taking advantage of Unemployment Benefits. The Oz system meant you had to document jobs you'd at least tried to apply for. Thus, I became really quite good at applying for jobs that cursorily sounded right but which I wouldn't get, especially given how well I learned to craft a bad cover letter. (Had a few scares, one or two calls in for interview, but managed to dodge them, heh.)

    Fun times, easy times.

    I began to recognise a particular urge, a thing that made some jobs look more compelling and others look less compelling: get thee abroad, my intuition was telling me.

    That's me. There was a half-formed urge in me somewhere, and maybe it was a bit disabling because most things I saw don't look like answers to that urge.

    But I can look back and say the urge was real and important to me.

    How about you? Got any... um... urges? Vague senses of a hope or a wish?

    One or two small things a day to address the vague urge and make it clearer. Might pay off. At least it'll give you something to focus the worry.

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