Pardon Me, But Your Shadow is Showing. . .

[Anja]

Thanks, Mom for the reference. I'll check it out.

And thank you, Sir Victor, for the sediments. Er, sentiments.

"I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes goes so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how chldren ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close behind me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed."

Robert Louis Stevenson

 

[PeaceBaby]

But instead we pause and listen to your quiet words as a lock listens to the turning of a key.

My favorite ...

 

[Xander]

I'm surprised at the lack of curiousity in those who suggest not "reading too much" into the concept. And I'd suggest that it is that personal resistance to looking at what lies within which needs improvement.

This coupled with a tendancy to tell people where they're showing weakness leads me to think you may be too honest for most people... just maybe..



I mean I do it but I have an excuse defence. I'm a T

But introversion is good for self-improvement. Figuring out what doesn't work well for us is the way to find things which do work.

Spoken like a true introvert. Extraversion is good for self improvement... especially in introverts.

 

[Domino]

I know I will stay relaxed up to a point. Then suddenly I'll force what I want through like an unhealthy ENTJ. But doesn't everybody?

Ah yes the glories of Te! If only mine wasn't buried at the bottom of the hill with massive rocks on top of it... frick!

 

[INTJMom]

This coupled with a tendancy to tell people where they're showing weakness leads me to think you may be too honest for most people... just maybe..



I mean I do it but I have an excuse defence. I'm a T

She gets away with it because of her accumulated wisdom (and age).

Spoken like a true introvert. Extraversion is good for self improvement... especially in introverts.

 

[Anja]

This coupled with a tendancy to tell people where they're showing weakness leads me to think you may be too honest for most people... just maybe..



I mean I do it but I have an excuse defence. I'm a T

Spoken like a true introvert. Extraversion is good for self improvement... especially in introverts.

Yes. I think I have become quite blunt with age. Time is short. I say what I mean and mean what I say. It's a luxury I once didn't and couldn't afford to have. Job concerns, building connections with people, raising children, deferring to people in positions of power.

I used to be really avoidant about speaking directly to people. Fear they wouldn't like me. Fear they'd think I was wrong. Worry that someone may get angry with me. All that INFP stuff.

And as I get more in touch with my true self, and more accepting of it, I speak from my truth as I know it to be. When people get to know me, they understand that I am not gaming them or being unkind.

I offer what I see. Others are free to accept or reject it as they see fit.

It's been a real freedom for me to find my voice and use it.

 

[Anja]

I dunno. Would that be acknowledgment, deveopment, acceptance of the shadow?

 

[Anja]

Mercy, I see an error. I misspoke. I didn't mean that "introversion" was good for self-improvement.

I meant to say, "Introspection!"

Guess you must have caught that, Xander.

 

[heart]

BTW this was a great thread by Anja.

I am still never clear which is the true INFP shadow ESTJ or ISTP.

 

[Anja]

I haven't gotten clear with that, heart.

Must be someone around who could help out if they aren't too busy talking about going to bed with goats.

 

[INTJMom]

BTW this was a great thread by Anja.

I am still never clear which is the true INFP shadow ESTJ or ISTP.

I haven't gotten clear with that, heart.

Must be someone around who could help out if they aren't too busy talking about going to bed with goats.

Naomi Quenk says that the shadow of INFP is Inferior Te.

The 3 main ways Inferior Te manifests itself in INFPs is by

• projecting their unconscious fears of incompetence becoming hypersensitive to others' mistakes
• making judgments that are overly categorical, harsh, exaggerated, hypercritical and often unfounded
• overwhelmed by the urge to take some precipitous action, usually to correct some imagined mistake which often then exacerbates the problem

I know it's not easy to understand.
Sorry.
You really need the book.

According to Quenk, an INFP tends to emerge from the grip of the inferior as they learn a new perspective from which to view their situation.

 

[Xander]

I offer what I see. Others are free to accept or reject it as they see fit.

It's been a real freedom for me to find my voice and use it.

Do you ever find yourself in the situation where people mistake your observation for judgement?

I tend to find that people often start squaring up to me because I said something or other that in their head means I just labelled them as this or that. I don't think people are equipped to handle Ps in that sense... even other Ps.

I guess this is what I get for hanging around an ESTP for too long

Mercy, I see an error. I misspoke. I didn't mean that "introversion" was good for self-improvement.

I meant to say, "Introspection!"

Guess you must have caught that, Xander.

Not really. I wasn't being picky precisely... what you've got to bear in mind is I've absolutely no idea how old you are. Younger introverts, in my experience, quite often see introversion/ introspection as the route of all power and growth.. It took me a long while to realise that actually doing it offers different insight to just thinking about it. I just extrapolated this into a general theory that most people probably have as much to learn from either realm.

I am still never clear which is the true INFP shadow ESTJ or ISTP.

If the shadow is related to stress then the two INFPs I know are definitely ordering me to respond ESTJ. If I try to question something which they included or want purely because they want to they tend to start off giving false reasoning (me being dense I always bite on reasoning... quite failing to see it's a defence mechanism) which I move past only to be met with a very angry and forceful response which kind of tries to set things in stone. The style reminds me very much of the ESTJs I work with when they're in crisis mode.... which is quite often

 

[Xander]

She gets away with it because of her accumulated wisdom.

Ah... wise ass... gotcha... like her better already

 

[heart]

I have a hard time with this I guess, I tend to think of the Te as Inferior function, but that shadow actually means something unconscious, deeper than the inferior function.

 

[INTJMom]

I have a hard time with this I guess, I tend to think of the Te as Inferior function, but that shadow actually means something unconscious, deeper than the inferior function.

Sorry, I guess I got them mixed up again.
I thought we were speaking loosely of the "shadow" as that behavior which comes out of us when we lose control of ourselves, and in that light, Quenk calls that the eruption of the inferior. Otherwise, what is the shadow?

 

[Xander]

I have a hard time with this I guess, I tend to think of the Te as Inferior function, but that shadow actually means something unconscious, deeper than the inferior function.

As it was explained to me the tertiary is supposed to be under partial conscious control and the inferior mostly under unconscious control. If it is as it was explained then your inferior is the unconscious part and hence your shadow.... I think.

 

[heart]

As it was explained to me the tertiary is supposed to be under partial conscious control and the inferior mostly under unconscious control. If it is as it was explained then your inferior is the unconscious part and hence your shadow.... I think.

So like in me, what happens to Ti? What is it considered?

In an INTP what is Fi?

 

[INTJMom]

So like in me, what happens to Ti? What is it considered?
...

Ti is the last or 8th function.
This site has some comment on that:
The 16 Type Patterns

 

[Athenian200]

So like in me, what happens to Ti? What is it considered?

In an INTP what is Fi?

The theories seem to be:

1. Ti and Fi are different variations on the same basic kind of functioning.

2. They are the most strongly opposed functions, such that the more of one you have, the less of you have of the other.

3. Functions do not exist in types that don't have them consciously, they are simply simulated by combinations of other functions.

According to #1, Ti would be a more impersonal approach to your Fi that you don't use as often. According to #2, it would be the function you had the least awareness of, and were least able to deal with. According to #3, you have no Ti, but simply simulate it via Fi, Si, and Te whenever you appear to be using it.

I'm not sure any of them are right... or that there's even a right answer to be had in this context, honestly. It's all so much speculation.

 

[Xander]

So like in me, what happens to Ti? What is it considered?

In an INTP what is Fi?

I addressed this from another angle in a different thread.. INTP order of preference is TNSF. The lower case letter (e/i) refers to where the subject prefers to employ that function.

A screwdriver which is no longer putting screws in but is instead being used to hammer in a tac is still a screwdriver.