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Mid-twenties crisis: a new phenomenon?

JivinJeffJones

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Just about everyone I know in their mid-to-late twenties is going through an identity crisis of some kind at the moment, and I've been wondering what this is about. I don't see much evidence of it in earlier generations, although the mid-life crises of the boomers were well-publicized. I've repeatedly heard it said that people are having their crises much younger now. Any thoughts?
 

Totenkindly

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I need to leave in a moment, but I think in the past people's lives were very much planned out for them, and they never hit a crisis until they felt the onset of middle/old age and realized they weren't happy.

Nowadays in our culture, we have SO many choices that I think it is bewildering, and we always feel as if we're missing something or not getting as much out of life as we could be. Hence, more confusion, earlier on. Kids are even living with their parents to much older ages, and waiting longer to marry as well.
 

Wolf

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They expect my generation to change jobs every 1-2 years for the length of our careers. At the ripe old age of 26, I have held 8 "permanent" jobs, and worked as a consultant for over 60 companies for various lengths of time. At ~20, I had a bit of a crisis, myself, which resulted in my becoming a freelance consultant (I was tired of the randomness and unreliability of full-time employers, plus the low pay). I've only worked at my current employer for 4 months, and it's still difficult, but at least the work is more interesting. I'm hoping to stay for a decade or more like my predecessor, but it's hard to say, and I'm so accustomed to reading these auto-generated job listings that I still haven't stopped.

The last major turning point was when I saved enough to move somewhere and started sending resumes to companies in a few target areas, telling them I'm prepared to move at my own expense, then saw what came up. The one I took was actually totally random, the chance of my seeing it was almost nonexistent. I consider the finding of the job posting quite serendipitous, because I never would have seen it had I not mis-clicked that day.
 

JivinJeffJones

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I've been wondering if it's solely due to a lack of long-term vocation, and its presumed accompanying sense of belonging. These days the usual indicators of success are less visible (promotions, respect in community etc). Is this a reason young people seem more attracted to join the army these days? Rigid structure and thus less choices to make, opportunities for measurable progress, buying into patriotism as a source of belonging.

I've also noticed that women seem to have an easier run through their twenties, though I may be wrong. Maybe they just get married or have kids when they hit their crisis. Or get a divorce.
 

Langrenus

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Perhaps we just throw the word crisis around too easily. That might explain it.
 

The Ü™

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When you're a teenager, you have ambitious dreams you want to achieve, and when you graduate from high school, reality shows its ugly face.
 

Wolf

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I've been wondering if it's solely due to a lack of long-term vocation, and its presumed accompanying sense of belonging. These days the usual indicators of success are less visible (promotions, respect in community etc). Is this a reason young people seem more attracted to join the army these days? Rigid structure and thus less choices to make, opportunities for measurable progress, buying into patriotism as a source of belonging.

I've also noticed that women seem to have an easier run through their twenties, though I may be wrong. Maybe they just get married or have kids when they hit their crisis. Or get a divorce.
Interesting. I ticked the boxes, but I was rejected by four of the five armed forces over the phone (the last must've finally got the memo. Apparently, at the time, they could readily turn people away because there were so many people willing to join) due to medical conditions. I didn't fear selective service after that - if they ever tried to draft me, I would have told them that I wanted to join, but they rejected me for X reason, and I don't see how they could force me to go when they already rejected me. I'm now so freaking old that all I have to worry about is an actual land invasion, because they probably wouldn't draft me even if I was in perfect shape at this point. The funny thing is that they were extremely interested (and so was I), until near the end of the call when he asked if I had any medical conditions, and rattled off a few... I had to admit to a couple of them, and, though disappointed, they told me there was no way they could accept me.

Yes, it was a bit of a way to belong, but also a way to fulfill a number of my targets in life. Even with a full-time "permanent" job, I never feel that I actually belong; I am forever anticipating when I will need to move on, because that has been the norm in my life rather than the exception.
 

prplchknz

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We age a lot faster now, especially those of us in urban areas.

I'm wondering if the current generation in starting college is going to be a bit of a throwback in having their lives planned out by their parents hovering via cellphones and email. Universities now actually have departments devoted just to keeping parents from bothering professors. Sad, really. I would have been beyond horrified if my parents rang up one of my professors because they didn't like the amount of homework, score on a test, etc.

More info here:
Helicopter parent - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Apparently it's starting to extend into their jobs after college.

My room mate last year, use to have her mom write her papers. another one who had so many allergies that she required a special diet where she had to have specially prepared dishes. Her mom would send her food in the mail just so she could eat. My mom was that's ridiculous she should learn how to cook or starve. On the essay thing wtf! how hard is it to write a paper for a class. I understand if your stuck calling up your mom and just talking the idea out to make sure what you're trying to say makes sense.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

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The simple answer is freedom. Horrible, horrible freedom! ;)

Even in previous generations the extended family unit eventually dissolved into the more basic nuclear family unit. Now families are often either one parent or two parents in different households. Youths don't always have two parental role models not to mention possible grandparents, aunt, uncles, etc... that are a common part of the family unit in more traditional cultures. Youths to a large extent have to pave their own path. They have to make their own mistakes that they wouldn't necessarily have to make if they had some elderly wisdom. This means that they might doubt themselves more or burn out quicker or other factors that simulate a mid-life crisis.

Add to this that we also have a lot more luxuries today, and this tends to give us higher expectations of what we want for happiness. In earlier times if you were married and had a job, then that was pretty good. That is not necessarily the outlook that youths today have. They must have the "right" job and the "right" spouse, etc.... I believe in general people today are less appreciative of the things they have, and this causes this doubting and "mid-life crisis" effect in young adults.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I'm just not sure it's a new phenomenon. Isn't this idea what Generation X is all about? Even shows like "Friends", "Seinfeld", etc. have been showing people in their twenties basically adrift in life.

There isn't a great deal of stability in life anymore. Everything is in flux. Teenagers have their ideals, depression, and angst. People in their 20's have developed some skills, but are shocked by how different life actually is. People in their thirties are either busy with their kids and put their own lives on hold, or they realize their choices in their 20's require reassessment. Forties give you your basic mid-life crises where you realize you are too old to go back and do it all again. You start your health problems in your 50's and on up.

I kinda think life = crisis.
 

563 740

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I need to leave in a moment, but I think in the past people's lives were very much planned out for them, and they never hit a crisis until they felt the onset of middle/old age and realized they weren't happy.

Nowadays in our culture, we have SO many choices that I think it is bewildering, and we always feel as if we're missing something or not getting as much out of life as we could be. Hence, more confusion, earlier on. Kids are even living with their parents to much older ages, and waiting longer to marry as well.

+1

It's the year 2007 and I'm a 25 year old engineer. I've been dating for three years (my third serious relationship), am on my 4th job since graduation, don't have a retirement plan or company benefits (contract work), and really don't even know if engineering is my life plan or not. Frankly, I anticipate some degree of societal collapse by the time I reach retirement (if such a thing is even still possible - stock market crash, economic depression, World War III... who knows).

It's the year 1957 and I'm a 25 year old engineer. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for three years now and have been working at the same company since graduating college. I have a generous benefits package and plan to stay with the same company until my nice fat pension kicks in around age 55 and I can enjoy a comfortable retirement puttering around in my shed and spending time with the grandchildren.
 

Wolf

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+1

It's the year 2007 and I'm a 25 year old engineer. I've been dating for three years (my third serious relationship), am on my 4th job since graduation, don't have a retirement plan or company benefits (contract work), and really don't even know if engineering is my life plan or not. Frankly, I anticipate some degree of societal collapse by the time I reach retirement (if such a thing is even still possible - stock market crash, economic depression, World War III... who knows).

It's the year 1957 and I'm a 25 year old engineer. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for three years now and have been working at the same company since graduating college. I have a generous benefits package and plan to stay with the same company until my nice fat pension kicks in around age 55 and I can enjoy a comfortable retirement puttering around in my shed and spending time with the grandchildren.
Nice, and so very true.

I see the same as you coming (societal collapse) before I reach retirement, too... In fact, I will be surprised if I make it to 40 before such a thing happens, and I feel like I'm living on borrowed time, like I need to get away and shore things up in preparation for it, but everything I would like to have in preparation is elusive due to the current state of things in the world.
 

miked277

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Even with a full-time "permanent" job, I never feel that I actually belong; I am forever anticipating when I will need to move on, because that has been the norm in my life rather than the exception.

i can relate to this pretty well.

i haven't necessarily thought of joining the military for more structure as others have stated but the peace corps has definitely crossed my mind in recent years. bleh, i dunno. its not that i'm in a crisis or that i'm not reasonably happy w/ what i'm doing and where i am. its that i can imagine so much more, and i've even tasted some of what i could be and could be doing. but where i am now and where i want to be seem so far apart.

anyways, [/emorant]
 

GZA

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I'm 16 and I feel like I'm having a crisis, but that could be something else...

I don't know what I want to do... I always feel like there is some place I need to go but I don't know where it is so I'm just looking around for it. People all around me try to tell me where to go but it never sounds like its that place I'm bound for, its not the road I'm chasing.
 

notTheOne

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Its the year 2009 and I just turned 26 a couple weeks back. Graduated from college with a business degree in 2005. I'm on my 3 job since graduation with several 4+ month durations of being unemployed. Though I enjoy the people at my current job, which is completely unrelated to my degree, and definantley not something i could see myself doing long term. Have a *slight* online gaming addiction. My entire family had high hopes for me. I was always the "good one"...The one that didn't smoke or drink. The one that got the best grades...blah blah blah. My cousins were the "bad ones", even their own parents frequently mentioned how they wished them to be more like me. Oh the pressure! I was supposed to be out of law school this year, but of course, I've yet to apply. Not that law school really interests me. Always something my family expected. Recently read about Pharmacist Consultants, but that would take 6 years to complete since I have to take science classes before even being eligible to apply to pharm school. Honestly, I have no passion for anything. So I just float along. Im not willing to give further schooling a chance until I find a passion somewhere, and I'm completely unhappy because I'm not willing to give further schooling a chance until I find a passion somewhere.
 

kiddykat

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JivinJeff,

There's actually a sociological term for it: "Quarter-Life Crisis." However, I think we can just extend it beyond quarter-life nowadays. (j/k)

I think a lot of this general feeling reflects the current state of the economy & social changes.. Even though it may not be obvious, the way society functions, effects us on a macro/micro level. After the boom of the internet, I think there's A LOT of lifestyle changes that effects the way we work, interact with others, this and that, overall quality of life, both pro/con. Really, we're living in a period of history where major change struck us pretty hard, pretty quick.

We can always maintain perseverance by staying focused on who we are, correct? Despite the rain, there will always be sunshine. As long as we keep remembering who we are, where we came from, where we want to be, I think that's the best way to enjoy life, regardless of our circumstances..
 

AOA

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Well, I'm not in my mid-20s yet, but I could tell you... time is surely flying.

I need to leave in a moment, but I think in the past people's lives were very much planned out for them, and they never hit a crisis until they felt the onset of middle/old age and realized they weren't happy.

Nowadays in our culture, we have SO many choices that I think it is bewildering, and we always feel as if we're missing something or not getting as much out of life as we could be. Hence, more confusion, earlier on. Kids are even living with their parents to much older ages, and waiting longer to marry as well.

100% agreed.

... So many choices, ahh!!!

When you're a teenager, you have ambitious dreams you want to achieve, and when you graduate from high school, reality shows its ugly face.

You can say that...
 

Moiety

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Its the year 2009 and I just turned 26 a couple weeks back. Graduated from college with a business degree in 2005. I'm on my 3 job since graduation with several 4+ month durations of being unemployed. Though I enjoy the people at my current job, which is completely unrelated to my degree, and definantley not something i could see myself doing long term. Have a *slight* online gaming addiction. My entire family had high hopes for me. I was always the "good one"...The one that didn't smoke or drink. The one that got the best grades...blah blah blah. My cousins were the "bad ones", even their own parents frequently mentioned how they wished them to be more like me. Oh the pressure! I was supposed to be out of law school this year, but of course, I've yet to apply. Not that law school really interests me. Always something my family expected. Recently read about Pharmacist Consultants, but that would take 6 years to complete since I have to take science classes before even being eligible to apply to pharm school. Honestly, I have no passion for anything. So I just float along. Im not willing to give further schooling a chance until I find a passion somewhere, and I'm completely unhappy because I'm not willing to give further schooling a chance until I find a passion somewhere.

What do you do for fun and what are you naturally good at?
Welcome btw :)
 

AOA

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Desire to have children??

... I had to read that. :cry: :cry: :cry: *sneezes*
 
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