Transactional Analysis (TA)

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

"With Transactional Analysis, Eric Berne made complex interpersonal transactions understandable especially the "games" that the "inner child" plays in order to gain recognition from others.

The TA therapist’s task is to help the person to regain its inner child’s innate "Okness" so that it will be able to obtain the recognition or "strokes" --in short, the love--that it needs and so that the whole person can function in a positive manner. As consultants, educators and organizers, transactional analysts with their skills in analyzing transactional patterns are able to understand, predict and help improve people’s communication and productivity."

This stuff is really cool. Watch the videos. Rather good!

[YOUTUBE="b2ScDQx5ndw"]Video 1[/YOUTUBE]
Video 2: Unhealthy Relationships
Video 3: Games

 

[FDG]

Yes, I agree that it's awesome. I read two books from Berne, and they both left me completely satisfied and hopeful in psychology, something that doesn't happen often.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Which would you recommend as a primer?

 

[FDG]

"Games people play" is definitely the best imho

 

[disregard]

What a great theory, because it serves as a window into the other dimensions of your style of judgment, so that you do not get locked into feeling like you do things just one wayg, which is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just like you were talking about, when I said I was afraid of intimacy. My Child that wants to please my parents feels guilt in regard to intimacy, but that isn't always how I feel about it.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Anja]

Yes. Good topic. Very useful in recovering from victimization issues.

I'll summarize briefly for the video challenged. (Didn't take time to watch.)

Three ways we can relate to another person:
1. Through our Child
2. Through our Parent
3. Through our Adult.

Then the various permutations regarding the mix you get depending on how the other is speaking to you.

The goal for healthy communication, of course, is functioning through our mature adult. That's a balanced relationship. No one inferior/superior.

A snide aside: At times this forum can be a veritable salad bar of mind games! Yum.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Looks interesting.

 

[ThatGirl]

Yeah, see here is my take on the whole thing.

If I see a sunbather, I may decide hey thats looks like fun, why didn't I think of that? Then go get naked and do the same. I reserve the right to allow my adult self ultimate freedom of choice and utmost impulsiveness.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I actually hear that. I don't know enough to respond. I have a feeling that I'll end up modifying the ego states a little bit to reflect what I already understand about human nature. But, even though I have reservations about marginalizing the "playful child," I think people do shift into states of the embarrassed, ashamed child, and recognizing that in order to improve it seems to make sense.

 

[Anja]

I think that's the point, Edahn. We have all those parts within our psychological structure. And we seek a healthy balance among them.

When we operate out of our parent state, as I often do with my aged mother, I want to operate from my "healthy parent." The one who takes charge because the child needs to be taken care of. And not the "unhealthy parent" who manipulates the child for their own ego needs.

When I want to frisk about and let my healthy playful child out she is attended by the "healthy adult" who watches for her safety. Should I unwisely, or unwittingly, let my unhealthy child out to play she'll, for sure, be selfish and demanding and get the "big me" into trouble. I may then slip into my unhealthy parent and shame myself.

My husband has a very strong parent persona in him and he uses it in a watchful and safe manner most of the time. When he slips into his unhealthy parent, do I ever have a struggle not responding to him out of my whiny, rebellious unhealthy child!

Not having watched the video still, I'm not sure whether what I am saying is in line with what's offered or not. Just some of my understanding of TA.

Does that help, That Girl? It's not an either/or but rather an integration of our healthy adult, child and parent aspects. I think the two which get us into the most interpersonal trouble are the child/parent ones.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

The video seemed to suggest that the goal was to become the adult, rather than the healthier version of Child and Parent. Is that what you're saying?

 

[ThatGirl]

yes, I mean i can understand the cause and effect aspect of the interactions and the patterns of certain behaviors, but at the same time, I get anoyed with the labeling of certain behaviors into preferential catagories as examples. Like your goal is to do this if you are to be this. I don't think it always works that way, and I think people who define others through this so called understanding are missing out on the bigger picture.

The video was accurate in defining patterns of behavior but I think essentially the goal is distorted, or it at least held subtle propaganda for a "better" way of reacting.

 

[Anja]

Well, there are better ways of reacting. I drop the "re." Heh. It's one model of many to chose from.

Yes, Edahn. As I typed I realized that I couldn't remember if the final goal was to integrate all parts into the healthy adult. That makes sense. In that case the healthy child and healthy parent would be of a part with the healthy adult.

Dang. Now I've gotta go watch the blasted video I suppose. A moment.

 

[Anja]

Yes, you are correct Edahn. I watched the relationship one. Funny how sometimes I think I've got a handle on something and then as I begin to talk about it, realize that I've forgotten.

Didn't he do a good job of explaining? I think so.

I especiallly liked the remark about discomfort and staying in the here and now. The being present in the moment is a lot more difficult than it sounds. But I do think it is that sense of sudden jarring discomfort in a relationship which is the key to recognizig when I've slipped into a different state than my healthy adult state.

And his comment about staying connected was useful. Too often these cross interactions lead to a cold silence/disconnection between people.

And, whoa! Did I hear him slip in a little passive/aggressive zinger there toward the end? Hah. Psychologists are people too.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

That makes sense about integrating them all into a healthy adult.

 

[Apollanaut]

The ego states map nicely to the theory of 8 function/archetypes in the following way:

Healthy Adult = Heroic (Dominant) Function #1
Healthy Parent = Good Parent (Auxiliary) Function #2
Healthy Child = Paer/Puella (Tertiary) Function #3

Unhealthy Adult = Oppositional Function #5
Unhealthy Parent = Witch/Senex Function #6
Unhealthy Child = Trickster Function #7

See this thread for more info:
http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ality-matrices/1416-archetypes-functions.html