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  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I just go with the flow.. swimming downstream until I find somewhere I can climb out that looks good.
    Yeah, that's more of a general approach to life, and I can understand that.

    But there must be a lot of thinking that goes on behind the scenes. Were you just 'going with the flow', for example, when you decided to get married? Or any other decision point like that, where it was one of several options? How did you decide on a specific direction? Is the decision point as simple as when what's in front of you 'looks good'? How do you decide that one option looks better than other options?
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #12
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Yeah, that's more of a general approach to life, and I can understand that.

    But there must be a lot of thinking that goes on behind the scenes. Were you just 'going with the flow', for example, when you decided to get married? Or any other decision point like that, where it was one of several options? How did you decide on a specific direction? Is the decision point as simple as when what's in front of you 'looks good'? How do you decide that one option looks better than other options?
    I dont think it'd matter what sort of decision it was, I tend to just flow generally and see where the mood and intuition takes me.

    Whether I was proposed to, offered a new job, considering what gadget to buy.. I'd go with what instinctively feels right.

    I can't be more precise than that... I know I must weigh up conflicting factors, but any objectivity is under the surface. I trust myself to be right when I know what to do. I just "know". Yeah, I test +100% P (in my official accredited test, too).

  3. #13
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    That sounds familiar to me. I've lived pretty much in the moment all my life.

    Initially it was because I didn't know any other way to do it.

    Now it's more because I've found that that's what works the best for me.

    And over the years I've noticed that those who plan down to the very detail have the same kinds of issues with life changing our plans as I do.

    Seems not to matter a lot as long as I try to make the best out of what gets tossed my way.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #14
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Actually, I have not put a lot of thought into many life-important decisions.

    For example, when I was selecting a college, I visited to my top 3 choices. The one that had the best environment / felt the most comfortable was the one I eventually picked, regardless of distance.

  5. #15
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I have some far-reaching, but sufficiently vague, long-term plans. Each major decision I have to take, I try to gauge if, and how, I can make it in a way that I can both enjoy my life and reach my longer-term plans, plus adding some stability into the equation.
    However, often outside pressure does enter into the equation.

    Well, I understand how this is excessively abstract to be easily understood, so I will finalize it a bit more. Going to college: for some reason which is not known to me, people expected me to go for something that could lead to a lucrative career, and also was complicated (?). However, I also wanted to do something that I could potentially enjoy, so I choose Economics. In the meantime, I wanted to find a job of some kind, yet I didn't want to focus only on school plus work, since I would have felt like my life was wasted. So, I caught the opportunity to become a freelance translator, which met those conditions. Basically, the plan was sufficiently vague to allow for a good amount of opportunities, yet I also had a clear picture of what I wanted to reach.

    Something peculiar, about which I am starting to notice a difference between me and some people I know: I never perceive a decision as something that can be changed. If I have decided to get a degree in X, well, that means I have to do it (doesn't mean I will focus obsessively on the goal, but that I will aim at its completion); if I have said I have to have saved X amount of money for time Y, then I don't feel like it's possibile to change my mind on it, etc

    There are many areas of my life where I consider that I don't have plans. But perhaps I actually do, even if they're not the kind of plans that people take very seriously: in my free time, I want to hike up all the dolomites in the next 10 years, and learn how to ice-skate well. In terms of work, I want to find a job that has a good balance between being lucrative and leaving a good amount of freedom. I don't consider these as plans, because well, I don't feel like they are forcing me towards a particular path - they're only my choices.

    Another peculiarity is that, I always try to take well into account my preferences into these types of plans. For example, I know I hate very cloudy climates. So, even if I was offered a job position that was lucrative and left me with a lot of freedom, but was, say, in Lodon, I would turn it down.

  6. #16
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I dont think it'd matter what sort of decision it was, I tend to just flow generally and see where the mood and intuition takes me.

    Whether I was proposed to, offered a new job, considering what gadget to buy.. I'd go with what instinctively feels right.

    I can't be more precise than that... I know I must weigh up conflicting factors, but any objectivity is under the surface. I trust myself to be right when I know what to do. I just "know". Yeah, I test +100% P (in my official accredited test, too).
    Interesting. Thanks for elaborating.

    I guess that doesn't really describe how I operate, but again it's interesting to hear how others process things.

    It has recently occurred to me that while I can intellectually understand 'going with the flow', it's something I don't do naturally. I have to 'decide' to go with the flow, in other words. So there's a decision point there somewhere. And once I 'decide' to approach something a certain way, I'm able to do it reasonably well. And let's face it, many aspects of life require going with the flow, or that's a better approach in general. But yeah, the distinction there is that I'm actually thinking about all of it beforehand, whereas it's just natural for you.

    FDG - thanks so much for your thoughtful response. Actually I can relate quite a lot to everything you wrote, and I think I'm quite similar in some ways. I especially liked the examples you gave - i.e. the one on London/job, for example. That's something I'd do. Factoring in many things, and also factoring in enjoyment and free time. All are important. All get juggled, weighed, and prioritized.

    Also, it was funny that you mentioned you felt you couldn't change a decision once you made it. I can relate to that, but the difference is that I have changed my mind many times in the past - but it bothers me when I change my mind. ;-) For me, it's that I put SO much thought into everything that I do, and why I do it, so once I make a decision, it's like I have very good reasons for having made it and it just seems rash to go and change my mind. I don't know, I can't put my finger on it. I have to *remind* myself that indeed it's possible to change my mind, and ok to change my mind. But it's funny that I have to remind myself about that.......
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #17
    Senior Member VanillaCat's Avatar
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    I'm pretty terrible at it. I'd rather someone else make it. I like synthetic happiness... Heh. Possibilities make me feel lame. Cos, then I could regret whatever I didn't choose. I like it most when I make a decision, decide I don't like it, and find out I can change it

    But usually my decisions go well. I'm happy with life no matter what usually
    It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

  8. #18
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Also, it was funny that you mentioned you felt you couldn't change a decision once you made it. I can relate to that, but the difference is that I have changed my mind many times in the past - but it bothers me when I change my mind. ;-) .
    Ohoh well, I think that being that I'm still young, part of this is also due to the fact that both of my parents are ISxJs that never went to college, thus they tend to perceive the possibility of, say, a major-change as something akin to a deadly sin, lol

    As far as what you say about going with the flow: I'm kind of similar in that respect, too. Example, if one day I decide I want to go to the beach, it's not like I will plan my day there - it's relax. But, It's much harder for me to accept if a friend calls me at 9.00 AM and (say we are both on vacation) asks me to go to the beach, since I hadn't planned to "go with the flow" in that case, eheh
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  9. #19
    Senior Member Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Something peculiar, about which I am starting to notice a difference between me and some people I know: I never perceive a decision as something that can be changed. If I have decided to get a degree in X, well, that means I have to do it (doesn't mean I will focus obsessively on the goal, but that I will aim at its completion); if I have said I have to have saved X amount of money for time Y, then I don't feel like it's possibile to change my mind on it, etc
    Your plan is set, and action is taken. Somewhere along the way you see an attractive opportunity, which is not necessarily in alignment with your plans, how do you act in such situations?
    Hit like a heavyweight, breathe deep, meditate
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  10. #20
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alpha Prime View Post
    Your plan is set, and action is taken. Somewhere along the way you see an attractive opportunity, which is not necessarily in alignment with your plans, how do you act in such situations?
    I try to catch it, making room for it, but still not diverging from what I had set myself to do.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

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