User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 47

Thread: Emotion control

  1. #1
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,335

    Default Emotion control

    "A mature adult is one who controls their emotions. If I don't control my feelings, I may do something I'll regret."

    I've noticed my FJ friend restrains negative emotions, where as the FP would just express it.

    How much does this statement apply to people here? Do you think it's true or a useful belief?
    Last edited by Snow Turtle; 12-30-2008 at 07:10 AM.

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    I think I do restrain my emotions, but the areas where we do it might be different, as could be the motivation.

    As an FP, I tend to actively seek opportunities where I can let go of all my emotions without wreaking havoc on others or burdening others, as I make it a point to reign in my emotions when I'm amongst people. If I don't, people tell me I'm too intense and are scared of me *sigh*

    Such opportunities might range from going to a karaokebar to let go of my silly side and be able to be as noisy as I wanna be, to staying at home all alone and watching sad movies and listening to sad music in order to digest my own sad feelings.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    "A mature adult is one who controls their emotions. If I don't control my feelings, I may do something I'll regret."

    I've noticed my FJ friend restrains negative emotions, where as the FP would just express it.

    Do other SJs identity with this thinking pattern? Do you think it's a useful belief?
    Yes, I identify. I feel guilt for feeling negative emotions and talk myself out of them. And the guilt is 10 times worse if I express them to someone else and burden them with it.

  4. #4
    Member frenchkiss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    66

    Default

    I can relate to that statement. I don't think it's useful or healthy, though. I think it probably has at least as much to do with upringing and background as type.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Such opportunities might range from going to a karaokebar to let go of my silly side and be able to be as noisy as I wanna be, to staying at home all alone and watching sad movies and listening to sad music in order to digest my own sad feelings.
    I do this kind of stuff too. It might be hard for me to direct my feelings towards someone else, but it's not really possible for me to, like, internally vaporize them if that makes sense? So there are other outlets, like those.
    6w5sp/sx

  5. #5

    Default

    For some reason my emotions are way more muted than others people. I really don't feel that strongly about many things, and when I do I don't express them that easily. Or, other people are just childishly bad at controlling themselves.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I think maturity (or wisdom) has to do with how you understand your emotional and cognitive reactions, not whether you control them. Immature people have no space to perceive their reactions, and just end up reacting immediately without considering from where their thoughts and feelings originate (anger is the quintessential example) and how to best deal with the situation, their reaction being one component of the situation. Mature people are able to pause and reflect on the origin of their response which usually gives rise to personal responsibility rather than blame. That time also gives people an opportunity to put their hurt in perspective and make a wise decision on how best to respond.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tayshaun's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    172

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Immature people have no space to perceive their reactions, and just end up reacting immediately without considering from where their thoughts and feelings originate (anger is the quintessential example) and how to best deal with the situation, their reaction being one component of the situation. Mature people are able to pause and reflect on the origin of their response which usually gives rise to personal responsibility rather than blame.
    Mindfulness, awareness, letting go.

    Yes, I can see how a practice of meditation and mindfulness should help nudge one on a path towards emotional maturity. I agree control should not be the goal.

    Welcoming, then releasing.

  8. #8
    Senior Member aufs klo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    191

    Default

    I'm really good at expressing my positive emotions, negative ones on the other hand...

    I tend to just put my negative vibes, then default to avoid conflict--it's a problem, i know
    What's up universe?

  9. #9
    Senior Member placebo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    492

    Default

    Emotions are tough stuff for me. Especially dealing with the negative ones at home, since I've never really been taught how to express them well--mainly suppress them, and there's a difference between suppressing emotions and restraining them. Control of emotions is probably a good thing to have, but control in a good way--knowing how best to express them. It definitely can wreak havoc if you let a negative emotion get the best of you.

  10. #10
    Senior Member aufs klo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    191

    Default

    my best friend (entj) and i recently got into a mini big fight. long story simplified, she would do something that would make me feel under-appreciated, and i'd shoot out vibes stong enough that even an entj would know something was bothering me, but then just ignore the root problem. i wanted her to bring it up, and i honestly really wanted to talk about it, but every time it was brought up i would shut down, unable to really talk about it.

    we got through it (even after (justifiably) blowing up at her), but today, after doing that same thing to me, she gave me a call and said to me exctly what i wanted her to say. don't think i really handled it in the best way, but you know how sometimes you need others to recognize your feelings?


    so... kind of pointless rambling, but i think there's a message in there... don't expect others to read your mind? maybe i just wanted to pat her on the back to someone?
    What's up universe?

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Emotional Challenges
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 01-07-2016, 04:21 PM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-02-2014, 06:34 AM
  3. Which emotion is hardest for you to control?
    By yenom in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 04-01-2010, 09:44 PM
  4. Emotional "Controllers" using Jungian Functions
    By ygolo in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-30-2008, 06:52 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO