"Delayed Gratification" - Which types have too much or too little of it ?

[dee]

I'm sure you have all heard of "delayed gratification"- the ability to delay or wait and not do something even though you really want it. Instead of giving yourself immediate gratification- for instance eating a really yummy dessert, you push it off and don't eat sweets at least say till you loose those 20 pounds.

BTW I hope I "catergorized" myself right, as an enfj, but I might be an infj, I am not totaly sure.

The thing is, I just feel that i have this trait a little too much, and sometimes it keeps me from being happy because I feel I have to delay what I want and must do what is for the "greater good"... All the time.

I wonder if this is true for other enfjs or if other types feel this way as well.

Also wondering what types feel they don't have enough of this, and struggle with it.

It is considered to be a blessed trait, but too much of anything I don't think is ever good.

Waiting to hear some comments, thoughts on the subject.

 

[nolla]

I'd say any type with practice. But if you want me to pick, my guess is:

I - Keeps you less focused on external stuff
N - Makes you concentrate on less concrete stuff
T - Can easily see the logic in not gratifying immediately
J - Can make the plan stick

 

[creativeRhino]

I am the master of delayed gratification!

It has served me well - getting what I want with just a bit of a wait - maybe 3-4 years for bigger things. I always have several things I work towards at the same time. I am very selective about what I put my efforts into.

Experience has taught me to be flexible and pragmatic about ups and downs on the way to getting what I want. But if I want something I have "a plan" for it - targets/goals or even a roadmap.

TJ is probably the key to this.

Folks don't plan to fail, the just fail to plan. That's what I've learnt from experience...

My sister is an FP and can't wait!

 

[Edgar]

I used to be into the whole concept of "delayed gratification", but then I realized that it's just too long to wait.

 

[BerberElla]

The only thing I have ever been able to delay the gratification on is in regards to food, ie lose so much and get a treat.

Everything else has to suffer my impatience, because I hate waiting for things.

 

[dee]

Thanks for the input, this is great. Now I see that I am not the only one,

CreativeRhino, you seem happy about this, you don't feel stifled at times?

Like you are giving up too much?

How do you manage to stay happy about it?

 

[FDG]

I don't believe in delayed gratification - I believe in doing what you like doing, but trying to choose carefully what is that you like the most. I think the most effective way of giving up damaging things is simply understanding that they are indeed damaging; and that the most effective way of tackling up interesting, useful and fun habits is to understand that we will be happier in return.

 

[ThatGirl]

I shoot for consistancy and dont play such games with myself. If you want that have it, if you dont, dont. I think this comes from having an incredibly controlled idea of what I want in the first place.

 

[01011010]

The goal is most important. Reaching the goal as quickly as possible gives me satisfaction. So, whatever I'm delaying in return isn't that big of a deal. Key is to compartmentalize.

 

[Salomé]

I knew an ENFJ who was into delayed gratification.
If you delay too much, gratification can get away from you.

I'm a carpe diem kinda chick.

 

[ajblaise]

I have real trouble with delayed gratification.

My gameplan is that I work on long-term goals all while re-uping myself with short-term pleasantries.

 

[Simplexity]

I can't delay anything. I'm notoriously bad at that. Although I do tend to hyper-focus and that can be parlayed into delayed gratification but it's a very obtuse method. I tend to let my interests override everything else, much to the chagrin of others.

I think it's because I have this crazy tendency to change my interest levels on a whim. I can go from bored to interested in an instant and that wreaks havoc on any attempts at delayed gratification. The inverse is not necessarily true... once I'm there I can last for a long time.

 

[THEANO]

I have real trouble with delayed gratification.

My gameplan is that I work on long-term goals all while re-uping myself with short-term pleasantries.

Oh boy, do I ever know what you mean. Same here

 

["?"]

"Gifts Differing" lists one of the traits for INJs (dominant Ni function) as a willingness to wait a little longer for things, but not too much longer. That makes sense since by all accounts Se types are a bit impulsive in wanting to see immediate results.

 

[JocktheMotie]

I can't do this at all. If given the option I'll always take the now over the later.

 

[Randomnity]

I have too little of it - especially in the sense of procrastination. I can only delay gratification when I know I'll be seriously hurt by it later. Stress/annoyance not counting as seriously hurt.

I would imagine that Ps on average (not all) would tend to have more trouble with this than Js.

 

[Wild horses]

Delayed gratification??!! geez u mite be dead tomorrow...

 

[Synarch]

I love self-denial. I love having to work for things. It sharpens desire like a knife.

 

[runvardh]

Sadly I do this only to punish myself...

 

[Kestrel]

I'm sure you have all heard of "delayed gratification"- the ability to delay or wait and not do something even though you really want it. Instead of giving yourself immediate gratification- for instance eating a really yummy dessert, you push it off and don't eat sweets at least say till you loose those 20 pounds.

I always thought "delayed gratification" meant willing to wait for some greater payoff. Your example is good self-discipline but not really what I think of as "delayed gratification". Are they getting more satisfaction from the dessert than they would if they ate it earlier? Not really.

If given the choice between having something great now, or having something even better later, depending on what it is and how long I have to wait, I usually prefer to delay gratification. I'm generally a patient person who understands the importance of holding out for a big payoff.