Why do you cry?

[ceecee]

Overwhelming, intense physical and/or emotional experiences.
Happy/relieved tears.
There's a lot of movies that make me cry too. The Green Mile would probably top that list.

 

[01011010]

OMG REALLY?

Shit, I thought the girl always cried during sex...

Oh NO!

 

[THEANO]

girl will only cry during sex when you do it wrong
So, you say that a girl ALWAYS cries (in your experience)?

 

[01011010]

girl will only cry during sex when you do it wrong
So, you say that a girl ALWAYS cries (in your experience)?

Most likely a joke. I took it that way.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I cry sometimes... I won't tell you what makes me cry, though.

I can tell you one thing, though. A few days a go, I looked up the cambrian period, and started reading about all the periods from there to present day, and I have to say that while I did not shed a tear, I did get a little sulky reading about one mass exctinction after another. The trilobites, the dinosaurs, etc...

 

[Lateralus]

No, not outside of movies with bad actors. That's a very strange sight... someone sobbing with dry eyes.

I haven't had the dry sobs in years.

 

[THEANO]

Most likely a joke. I took it that way.

Well done. It WAS a joke

 

[LucrativeSid]

I think what would cause me to cry is the purity of my emotions at the time. It's like overdosing on a drug because it's too pure and strong. For example, not too long ago a friend of mine died, and while I was thinking about that, and nothing else, I could sense that I was about to cry. It was because I was lost in a world of fantasy and emotion.

I was thinking about things that I would never otherwise think about. I was being sentimental about things that I'm not usually sentimental about. I was imagining myself having a very emotional reaction because that's usually what happens to people when someone close dies. While I was thinking about all of these really sappy things, I kind of realized that I was only doing it to see what it was like. It didn't really resonate with reality to me. I was about to get all emotional and cry about a deep sadness that I was merely imagining in my head.

And I think that's why I don't cry that often. It seems fake to me. I wonder, though, if that feeling that I get sometimes is what it's always like for other people who cry easily. To get lost in an emotion as if it's actually reality... and instead of realizing it's not and snapping back, going even deeper into it. It would be easy to cry if I did that, and I'm not really opposed to it so I can seem tough, it's just that it doesn't seem to make sense to do it. I like having my usual perspective on things. I take on the emotions slowly, one bit at a time, processing them as I go with my analytical mind, sort of like building up tolerance to the drug so I don't overdose on it. And that's just my natural way of doing it, I guess. It wasn't even a conscious choice I made because emotions scare me or anything. It's just a system I adopted over time. I got better at cleaning dishes and dealing with negative emotions.

There's some people, where if you call them a bad name, they will cry. I've never understood that. It's like they are instantly transported into a different world or something. They are transported into a world where the name caller's opinion is actually important, or into a world where they hate themselves. They do that instead of taking a step back, analyzing it for a second, and concluding that the other person is a jackass and that there's nothing to worry about. If you're going to get lost in fantasy land, at least have it be a land where you're the shit so you can fight back!

So, my made up on the spot theory is that people cry when they leave the big objective picture behind and enter into a fantasy where their emotions are allowed to run freely. In other words, they overdose because it's too powerful to take straight. (And I'm not implying that it's actually a bad thing, that's just how it happens. My analogy is not perfect, because overdosing on drugs or something IS usually a bad thing, but you know what I mean. At least I hope so.)

Gratitude and happiness are subject to this too, I believe. Only sticking with the cold hard facts doesn't always make things better. How could we love without imagination?

 

[disregard]

I cry when I'm sad, hurt, angry, or afraid.

It's the body's way of getting something out of its system when you cannot or choose not to be heard by voicing your thoughts and feelings or to release the buildup of emotional energy in another manner.

 

[CzeCze]

Cried like a wee baby yesterday for several hours >.<

Stop contradicting our type stereotypes!!! Get back to work, CEO!

-----
Answer to OP:

Crying is exactly what people have said -- when your physical body can no longer handle your emotional (and sometimes hormonal/chemical/neurochemical) response to things.

Sometimes like 'flight or fight' your body will teeter between tears or violence. I guess crying is a 'violent' outletting in a way.

Basically, you have to get 'rid' of all that stuff and let it process itself out.

Some people have 'higher' or 'lower' chemical thresholds than others, everyone has different triggers, and some people try harder than others to suppress the urge to cry.

Also, upbringing and experience have A LOT to do with it.

Yes, I'm ENFP but I grew up in a very cold environment where crying was met with indifference and later ridicule and contempt. That teaches you quick to NOT cry (or at least not let anyone see you!)

Testosterone supposedly makes it harder for you to even *want* to cry.

"Crying is a chick thing" ?? LOLOL.

PS, the idea that NFs as a group cry a lot or more than NTs or SJs or XX is totally false. Part of being 'emo' is also trying very much to process, understand, and deal with emotions before that tipping point. And not wanting to unleash flood gates, particularly in front of others (it would bring others down, be uncouth, or take off the mask and that is a NO NO to emotional people who hold their feelings sacred and private)

The only people who cry readily and in public are sensitive people?

I admire people who can let themselves cry when they feel like it. Holding back tears is physically painful.

 

[Mempy]

Without even reading the OP, I cry for relief, to assuage pain.

Now, I'm going to read the OP. It sounds as if you're wondering why someone might cry in front of others. I rarely, if ever, do. I hide it. I really never want anyone to see, which is kind of sad, but when I'm feeling shitty enough to cry, I'm usually feeling too vulnerable to let anyone see.

 

[Virtual ghost]

There are some really interesting replys here.


But crying is not my call for sure.

 

[Salomé]

Tears brought about by emotions have a different chemical make up than those for lubrication; emotional tears contain more of the protein-based hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leucine enkephalin (a natural painkiller) than basal or reflex tears. The limbic system is involved in production of basic emotional drives, such as anger, fear, etc. The limbic system, specifically the hypothalamus, also has a degree of control over the autonomic system. The parasympathetic branch of the autonomic system controls the lacrimal glands via the neurotransmitter acetylcholine through both the nicotinic and muscarinic receptors. When these receptors are activated, the lacrimal gland is stimulated to produce tears.

That is the INTJ answer.

 

[Desperado44]

girl will only cry during sex when you do it wrong
So, you say that a girl ALWAYS cries (in your experience)?

LOL....I don't know about that....I've had girls cry out of shear emotion in the moment.

It was promptly followed by an "I love you"...

....which of course scared teh $!&% outta me

 

[CzeCze]

:yim_rolling_on_the_

BTW, I'd probably cry if something hurt *physically* really, really bad. Like childbirth.

I cried when I sprained my arm and the x-ray technician made me bend my arm 90 degrees in the wrong direction. I was 8? That was the last time I remember crying because of physical pain.

Is the chemical makeup of tears produced from physical pain different?

 

[Salomé]

LOL....I don't know about that....I've had girls cry out of shear emotion in the moment.

Stop shearing their emotions, you cruel man!

Is the chemical makeup of tears produced from physical pain different?

Hold on while I punch you in the face and we can do an experiment!

 

[placebo]

I'll reiterate what some people have already said. It's a nervous system/hormone/chemical/body type thing. And people have different 'thresholds' and 'triggers'. Some people end up being more sensitive than others.

I've been hugely misunderstood by my family because I've always been a "crybaby" I've been accused of being manipulative and mentally weak, but it's not something I can control, no matter how hard I try. I've only become better at hiding it.

I totally envy people who rarely cry (being on the verge of tears when you want to say something is a huge nuisance) but it's good to know that people realise it's a body reaction.

 

[Kristiana]

I am posting this as a mature topic and people will probably feel more comfortable in this section.


This is how I see it

In many cases this is a female thing.
Usually something happens or something says something and then the hurt person trys to control itself. It look as the person is trying to swallow something and then he/she cracks and person is all tears in a second.


What I am interested in is what happens in your head that something like this happens?
I am tring to undersand what has to happen that grown up starts to cry.


Also I am aware that I am asking quite hard question and that the answer can be hard to put into words.


As for me I don't cry at all if we overlook some situations from an early childhood. What was probably more instinctive then when grow up people cry. Also I don't feel the need to cry.
This was to make it more clear why I am asking the question.

I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and because of the severe emotional dysregulation involved in the PTSD, I am unable to control crying spells when they happen. Affect dysregulation as a result of trauma is common..... VERY VERY frustrating and painful, but common.

In my case it has nothing to do with being female I am quite sure that if I didn't have PTSD, I would not cry easily. I didn't cry easily at all before I got sick.

 

[THEANO]

emotional lability caused by brain damage causes uncontrollable crying (and /or laughing) spells

 

[desiree]

Regressing

Personally, I correlate crying with regression.

I don't cry very often. Usually I cry because I'm frustrated by something practical--not because I'm having an emotional response to a traumatic situation.

Pick up my heart and break it into a million pieces, I won't cry. Give me an impossible puzzle with ever-increasing pressure and dammit, well, now I just can't hold the tears back.

In the moment that I start crying I am ready to sacrifice. The situation seems irreconcilable by me. Give up, walk away. If not forever, than at least for a time. It's the moment when I decide that something is more trouble than its worth. And even though I'm twenty, I'm probably wishing that mommy or daddy would make it better.