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Thread: Why do you cry?

  1. #111
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    There have been times when I've felt a sort of hopelessness, a sort of despair, that has come close to making me cry - it's made me WANT to cry and I've known at the time that if I could, I might even feel better, a release sort of thing. But I've just not been able to. Because instantly I'm analyzing... it feels like I'd be crying on purpose, actually trying to, and the thought is just so ludicrous, it would feel so fake, so contrived, I just can't bring myself to do it. Emotional responses are supposed to be genuine if nothing else, so if I have to make myself do it, what's the point?
    Holy crap - bingo! When my best friend died suddenly, I was instantly shocked. When the shock wore off, I became conscious of my sadness and therefore couldn't cry because it would feel fake and contrived - although I have always wanted to cry for him. I was in a state of melancholy for months but in the 5 years since the incident, I still have not shed a tear over him and this has made me feel constant guilt.

  2. #112
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Holy crap - bingo! When my best friend died suddenly, I was instantly shocked. When the shock wore off, I became conscious of my sadness and therefore couldn't cry because it would feel fake and contrived - although I have always wanted to cry for him. I was in a state of melancholy for months but in the 5 years since the incident, I still have not shed a tear over him and this has made me feel constant guilt.
    Dude, I'm the exact same about my dad. Over 2 years ago he died and I still haven't shed a tear. It's taken by some to mean I didn't care about him, but by others as me unhealthily bottling things up - it's not bottled up, I don't feel like it is anyway. It's simply been dealt with. It sorta annoys me sometimes actually, how emotional people tend to assume that their way is the ONLY way to deal with things and that if you think you've dealt with it any other way, you're simply deluded or "in denial". It's so patronizing. :steam:
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  3. #113
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    +1 on that patronizing crap. It's because of all the societal pressure that I feel so much guilt for being who I naturally am. Blah... It's my own fault for feeding into the concept of "normal" anyway.

  4. #114
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Tears brought about by emotions have a different chemical make up than those for lubrication; emotional tears contain more of the protein-based hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leucine enkephalin (a natural painkiller) than basal or reflex tears. The limbic system is involved in production of basic emotional drives, such as anger, fear, etc. The limbic system, specifically the hypothalamus, also has a degree of control over the autonomic system. The parasympathetic branch of the autonomic system controls the lacrimal glands via the neurotransmitter acetylcholine through both the nicotinic and muscarinic receptors. When these receptors are activated, the lacrimal gland is stimulated to produce tears.
    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    That is the INTJ answer.
    You are mistaken in your analysis. The description is simply the correct answer.

    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  5. #115
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    +1

    And I only ever do it alone.

    A few movies have made me cry (you'd never know if you were seated next to me though) as have war memorials. With the latter, I have a way of imagining the fear and the loneliness the soldier may have been feeling. And imagining them dying in the thick of battle away from their loved ones for a cause they may or may not believe in and... oh man.
    Oh crap. You're bringing back memories. There were two places I visited where I involuntarily teared up without expecting it - Pearl Harbor and the Vietnam Veterans Wall in DC. I felt like an idiot - but in a good way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Dude, I'm the exact same about my dad. Over 2 years ago he died and I still haven't shed a tear. It's taken by some to mean I didn't care about him, but by others as me unhealthily bottling things up - it's not bottled up, I don't feel like it is anyway. It's simply been dealt with. It sorta annoys me sometimes actually, how emotional people tend to assume that their way is the ONLY way to deal with things and that if you think you've dealt with it any other way, you're simply deluded or "in denial". It's so patronizing. :steam:
    The way I do it is to think about the good times, this makes me realize those times are gone. i dont think about the death or anything, just the times we had together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    There have been times when I've felt a sort of hopelessness, a sort of despair, that has come close to making me cry - it's made me WANT to cry and I've known at the time that if I could, I might even feel better, a release sort of thing. But I've just not been able to. Because instantly I'm analyzing... it feels like I'd be crying on purpose, actually trying to, and the thought is just so ludicrous, it would feel so fake, so contrived, I just can't bring myself to do it. Emotional responses are supposed to be genuine if nothing else, so if I have to make myself do it, what's the point?
    thats like me and all negative emotions...when people want to hear me cry, i can talk bout it and work it so i come across as the silent type...in reality, whats done is done. no use crying over spilt water

    i actually remember thinking if i should cry or not when something worth crying over happened last, but then i realized that having this thought invalidates the the purpose of crying except maybe for the people around me...so i didnt cry

  8. #118
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    Crying, like laughing is a universal language that every human understands

    Sure anger can be used as a release mechanism but it doesn't give the support of others or makes a cruel person realize just how far they have taken it

    I don't always cry when bad things happen and I think it does have to do with me being a T and having a logical outlook but if someone dies I just be honest to people if I'm not crying I say that I've already reached closure with their passing (Not sure if its true for all Ts but sometimes all I need is to logically go over it in my own mind and I can put myself at peace without the need to be emotional)

  9. #119
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I used to cry so much when I was with one of my ex's (I was innocent at that time) to the point where I felt really 'desensitized.'

    I think the only times I cry as an adult is when I truly love someone, and the thought of them dying kills me inside..

    When I think of them in pain, it hurts me. When I see them hurt, I hurt. Sometimes, i cover it up by looking tough, but I tear up inside.. I think it's natural/normal- perfectly healthy.

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