Humbling yourself to others

[Anja]

I think genuine humility is simply being as realistic as one can possibly manage about one's strengths and weaknesses. Nothing more; nothing less.

It isn't meant to be used the way most of society sees it - that is putting one's self lower than anyone else. That's false humility and really annoying.

 

[ThatGirl]

Actually it's the opposite. Arrogant people have low self-esteem. Humble people have high self-esteem. You are confusing humble with doormat.

Thats not true either arrogant people can in fact be humbly honest

 

[Anja]

That's something I've never seen, That Girl. Say how that works, please.

 

[Simplexity]

Thats not true either arrogant people can in fact be humbly honest

About their immense brilliance...

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Thats not true either arrogant people can in fact be humbly honest

Few people will be all ego or all humble. A totally humble person is a doormat. An egotistical manic is probably in prison or headed there.

 

[lane777]

I always submit. Don't bother me none.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Do you think a narcissist could be humble? How would one spot a narcissist? Everyone, even humble people are driven by something. Some selfish motivation. It could be that they see themselves as a fundamentally good person. They are so in love with that self image that are compelled to do things consistent with it--good things.

I just came up with that as I typed it. Not sure if it even makes sense.

 

[lane777]

Few people will be all ego or all humble. A totally humble person is a doormat. An egotistical manic is probably in prison or headed there.

I disagree. Being a doormat and being humble are not even closely related in my mind. I think you may be confusing insecurity with humility.

 

[Anja]

I'd say being humble is a healthy characteristic; and acting humble is unhealthy.

 

[millerm277]

I think I'm pretty humble usually, I never overstate my abilities, and don't "brag" about things. If anything, I sometimes underestimate what I can do.

 

[LucrativeSid]

I like attention. I like to entertain people. I like to inspire and motivate people. I like to make them think and I like to challenge them. I like to make them laugh. Usually they enjoy it, and I love that. That's what I have to offer to the world and I feel good doing it. If I was too humble, I would no longer be me, and everyone, including myself, would miss out on the unique flavor that LucrativeSid has to offer. And we'd ALL miss it dearly. As a grade school teacher or a therapist, I'd like to be very humble. As an entertainer and visionary, it would be too detrimental.

 

[Eldanen]

Nope. I'm not humble at all.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

I like attention. I like to entertain people. I like to inspire and motivate people. I like to make them think and I like to challenge them. I like to make them laugh. Usually they enjoy it, and I love that. That's what I have to offer to the world and I feel good doing it. If I was too humble, I would no longer be me, and everyone, including myself, would miss out on the unique flavor that LucrativeSid has to offer. And we'd ALL miss it dearly. As a grade school teacher or a therapist, I'd like to be very humble. As an entertainer and visionary, it would be too detrimental.

That's true. I know exactly what you're talking about. My brother is an ENTP.

 

[ThatGirl]

That's something I've never seen, That Girl. Say how that works, please.

Arrogance is a trait of perception, meaning that we usually view others as arrogant. I believe I have stated my views on this before but as someone else in this thread stated a lot of times just recognizing your strengths and weekness and being accepting of them, can be viewed as arrogance. In fact this does not lead to judgment of others but knowledge of the self. They could indeed be humble.

 

[Anja]

Okay. I see where you're coming from with that. So my thought is what you're saying is that any traits we have are simply perceptions of others and that since we get to define who we are, are/may be, valid/invalid? Did I get that?

Edit: That's an awkward sentence. I'm wondering if there hasn't to be a balance between how others see us and how we see ourselves. What I'm saying.

Otherwise we could be seen by everyone as arrogant and still claim that we aren't. Does that make us free from arrogance? A defense?

 

[ptgatsby]

Does that make us free from arrogance? A defense?

Gives us the freedom to act without social constraints, so sort of a defense, IMO. It's a more subtle and deeper version of pretending not to care.

 

[ThatGirl]

It could be a lot of things mostly I blame the false perception on outsider standards. Only we really know what are thoughts are about ourselves. As to why someone who is humble would give off an arrogant vibe it could be a defense and it could be insecurity of others. But I don't think that humility means you have to hate yourself or consider youself less than others. Only to understand your part. You could also show appreciation for your part. That shouldn't be a bad thing.

I guess what I am saying is that you don't need to sport a long beard and be very quiet only speaking the occasional wise words to be humble.

 

[ThatGirl]

On another note in regard to the orrigonal topic of the thread I think that humbling yourself for others would actually be condescending. As though you feel to meet others on there level. This would be arrogant. Humility is something that comes with world knowledge and respect. Respect to treat others as capable and containing there own strengths and that those traits are no more valid or invalid than yours. Each person is worthy of admiration on some level.

 

[Anja]

Okay, That Girl. I think we may be saying the same thing. You're talking about what it may look like to others and I am talking about what it feels like inside. And how it is expressed to the outside world.

It seems to me that any false acts or appearance chosen to look humble are not true humility. That's why it feels nasty if you do it. (If you have a conscience and self-awareness.) A lie.

I think it would be very difficult for someone with true humility to do those things. They would, as you say, recognize their strengths and failings and act with integrity upon them, admitting and accepting them both in themselves and also in others.

We know it when we see it. It doesn't make us feel more superior to the other person. In fact, it calls for respect. It's not groveling. That's manipulation.


Does that track?

 

[Jack Flak]

I humble only to me, no one else.