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  1. #11
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    For some reason, most of the people I've dated have been very very humble and very accomplished, too. Kind of the opposite of me. Heh.

    Submission is an interesting subject. I submit to some people on the outside, usually based on their aggressiveness. But it's fake. I only really submit to people who are really intelligent, but only after a long fight. I rarely submit to these people, too. In fact, I rarely submit.

  2. #12
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tenINsFJ View Post
    Interesting topic. I'll even "stoop" down to be humble. I'd rather hide myself and my abilities to others. All of my friends say I'm way too humble and never give myself credit for the things I do. I've always had this thought that there is no reason to brag about anything because actions and accomplishments will show it all I suppose. And the more I think about it, I'm generally more humble with people because in my mind, not being humble has potential to put people down maybe? And I don't like to bring attention to myself, nor do I want people to ever think of me as arrogant. So I never talk about things that I'm good at and stuff like that. I'll let them talk and tell everything. heh.
    I see more pragmatism than humility behind this approach.

    And...

    "I've always had this thought that there is no reason to brag about anything because actions and accomplishments will show it all I suppose"

    WORD!!!
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    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #13
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Referring to yourself as humble only implies that your better than others (and therefore not truly humble) if you see it as a great virtue (it's not!).

  4. #14
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Referring to yourself as humble only implies that your better than others (and therefore not truly humble) if you see it as a great virtue (it's not!).
    So is being humble something that must be bestowed to a person by other people?

    If you think of yourself as a humble person does that disqualify you from truly being humble?

    Does this apply to other virtues like being kind, compassionate, or merciful or is humility different...it can only be bestowed by others, not a trait you think is inherent to yourself?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #15
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    So is being humble something that must be bestowed to a person by other people?

    If you think of yourself as a humble person does that disqualify you from truly being humble?
    Only if you also think that being humble sets you above others in some way.

    Does this apply to other virtues like being kind, compassionate, or merciful or is humility different...it can only be bestowed by others, not a trait you think is inherent to yourself?
    The difference is a lot of people (it seems) believe that being humble sets you above others in some way and therefore if you claim it for yourself it's contradictory. However I see arrogance and humilty as two ends of a spectrum and neither of them are a very healthy way to be or something to be proud of.

  6. #16
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    It's not that I like arrogance, but I'm not a big fan of being humble. Now, I have a big ego and everybody knows that, but I do possess the ability to be humbled at times. In other words, there's some situations where I completely forget about my own ego. I am capable of experiencing humility, and I have no problems with it if it's necessary. And I would never like letting someone be above me in any way, but if neither of us thinks it, I don't know how it happens. I'm not attracted to humility, but it's not necessarily a turn off unless the person lacks confidence. (Often, the person with low self-esteem is the most arrogant anyway.)

    All in all, I've never thought of being humble as a good thing, and I've never tried to adopt that trait for myself or to seek it out in others. I celebrate the ego, both in myself, and in other people. Some egos are annoying and rude, but some cars are ugly, and some food tastes bad. Some egos are funny, powerful, and sexy, and I like that. As long as you have the ability to be real and use your heart and forget yourself when you need to, I'm cool.
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  7. #17
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    When you've exhausted all the energy needed to maintain pretense and ego and you learn that in the end, our work shows quite plainly what we are. Having taken to heart all the lessons implicit in attempting mastery of any kind you are free to enjoy humility; the truest sort that derives from empathy. It is not bestowed mindlessly or mindfully; it is (simply) a way of walking that will be earned.

    It is not humiliation, or submission or political posturing.
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  8. #18
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    one on one with people im quite humble. at least i hope i am
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

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  9. #19
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    I humble myself all the time, and it is really a shame because there is so much brilliance that is not seen. But i am really extreme with the humbling, never the less. I would venture as far as to say that I am the most humble person i know of,....or probably exists.

  10. #20
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    A pretense of humbleness can be one of the better manifestations of poor self-esteem.

    I'd say humility is an ideal, but if being humble is a conscious effort, you're likely not very good at it yet. And perhaps practice isn't the best way of obtaining it.
    Actually it's the opposite. Arrogant people have low self-esteem. Humble people have high self-esteem. You are confusing humble with doormat.

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