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Thread: Masks

  1. #41
    Senior Member Kora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InaF3157 View Post
    Um, depending on how well / the context in which they know me, some people may expect the ENTJ more than the INTP. But my I and P are more i and p, if you get my drift, so perhaps it's a bit different from your experience.
    Yes, but the first strike is the one which makes the difference. I don't show an ENTJ mask until I feel threatened.
    In my case, ENTJ is pure facade. I used to think I could be an Extrovert, but nowadays I doubt it. And I'm too far from J (or TJ) for even considering it, heh.
    5w4 - Idiosyncratic/Leisurely/Dramatic
    It's the devil's way now.

  2. #42
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i pretend to be introverted when i'm alone is that the same thing but opposite?? haha...i really don't know...i guess my answer is no.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #43
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Always thought this was weird, people tell me that when they first met me, they thought I was a snob. Have been told this consistently since I was a teenager. (Not by everyone, but once in a while, i'll get that comment once the person feels comfortable enough to say so.) Since I'm not a snob at all, I always wondered why people had this reaction. Its always in the beginning when I first meet them. I don't know if there is a type associated with snobbishness though.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I used to get this from people, Short, when I was younger. I couldn't figure out what that was all about. Confusing because I didn't feel arrogant. It took me quite a while to figure out that when I felt unsure of myself or frightened I'd put on a mask of hyper-independence and self-confidence. That looked like arrogance to others.

    And underneath it was uncertainty!

    It was a real problem for me at the time because I couldn't get my social needs filled to the extent that I desired looking like I really didn't care to belong.

    Because, in that mask I'd parade around looking all on top of it, people would have high expectations of me which I sometimes couldn't meet, as well. Such a set-up for feeling phoney and like a failure for me.

    Those were days of real internal conflict.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #45
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    It took me quite a while to figure out that when I felt unsure of myself or frightened I'd put on a mask of hyper-independence and self-confidence. That looked like arrogance to others.

    And underneath it was uncertainty!

    It was a real problem for me at the time because I couldn't get my social needs filled to the extent that I desired looking like I really didn't care to belong.
    I remember in my high school days, I was thought to be arrogant. Some guys would try to take it out on me in Phys Ed.

    In some ways I was truly "snubbing" them, although not especially arrogant, in my definition of the word. I felt that, "if the price for being accepted in your group is having to laugh at the jokes of the alpha male, or focus mostly on sports ( or motorcycles etc. ) then I don't want to pay it." I didn't mean to say that I thought motorcycles or sports were stupid things to be interested in, in general, but just that I didn't rate most of it all that compelling for me, personally. Perhaps they felt excluded from my "group of one" that looked cool/fun to be in.

    I remember one guy ( the alpha male of his little group ) saying to the others at his table, "Look at Kuranes over there, trying to be so nonchalant", and saying it loudly enough that I might be likely to hear it. I really had been blithely walking along towards a book I was searching for, not thinking of them at all, until I heard that. After hearing it, I guess I was "putting on an act." Prophecy that caused it's own projection to happen. I should have walked over right then and got into it with them all, but I didn't feel like it, and got my book and left. ( This group was unusual to the extent that they were all "college prep" focused, and actually knew the meaning of a word like "nonchalant", which was unheard of for most bullying cliques in my school histories. I might have even become friends with some of these guys if they had lived at all near me. )

    In business, I've been told that the people who are hardest to initially reach, are often the easiest to close, because they know they are persuadable. I have no great stories to tell about facades that were illusory, though, in biz. Many of the people who seem gruff and stubborn on initial impression seem to be also that way when I look deeper, too. * shrug *
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  6. #46
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I used to get this from people, Short, when I was younger. I couldn't figure out what that was all about. Confusing because I didn't feel arrogant. It took me quite a while to figure out that when I felt unsure of myself or frightened I'd put on a mask of hyper-independence and self-confidence. That looked like arrogance to others.

    And underneath it was uncertainty!

    It was a real problem for me at the time because I couldn't get my social needs filled to the extent that I desired looking like I really didn't care to belong.

    Because, in that mask I'd parade around looking all on top of it, people would have high expectations of me which I sometimes couldn't meet, as well. Such a set-up for feeling phoney and like a failure for me.

    Those were days of real internal conflict.

    Agreed, I had a period of time like that, too. The more people react to you like you are a "snob", the more you want to close yourself up to them. And you don't make any friends that way.

    I warm up to people a lot more quickly, now, so the orignial appearance of being snobby doesn't affect me as much anymore.

  7. #47
    Senior Member bronte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flush View Post
    When I'm with people, I wear my mask of sanity.
    When I get back home, I take it off.

    love it!! dont we all!!

    I think I can do a good enfp impression when I need to - but then I need to go lie down in a dark room for a while
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

  8. #48
    Senior Member bronte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Always thought this was weird, people tell me that when they first met me, they thought I was a snob. Have been told this consistently since I was a teenager. (Not by everyone, but once in a while, i'll get that comment once the person feels comfortable enough to say so.) Since I'm not a snob at all, I always wondered why people had this reaction. Its always in the beginning when I first meet them. I don't know if there is a type associated with snobbishness though.
    I used to get this too people used to say to my lovely esfj sister - 'your sister is stuck up' but I think it was just about not knowing what on earth to say to people alot of the time and being naturally reserved.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

  9. #49
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    ^ better than my paranoia that it's really my boss lurking as a guest and reading what I say
    I'm paranoid someone on here knows me in real life.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #50
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    I constrain my responses in certain settings, particularly at work. Most people mistake the intensity for aggression. It's not easy; on the order of maintaining minimum controllable airspeed.

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