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  1. #11
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I think shame is valuable and has been hectored into disfavor by the "I'm okay, you're okay" wave of psychology. Shame used to keep people on the right path, but it's been eclipsed by the worship of the god of baseless self-esteem.
    What if you are ashamed that you jerk off though?

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    What if you are ashamed that you jerk off though?
    Well, that doesn't mean you should stop. It just means you aren't doing it right.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Well, that doesn't mean you should stop. It just means you aren't doing it right.
    I think if you're getting paid for it, it's not a sin. Like porn.

  4. #14
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Well, that doesn't mean you should stop. It just means you aren't doing it right.
    But see that's the whole goddamn problem. Sometimes it's fine to have a quick, pointless wank. Sometimes it is nice to take your time and get nice and worked up. When you start thinking that there is a better way to do it that you haven't quite achieved, then it ruins everything. Now you're trying to jack off to an imaginary standard of jacking off. Now you think your orgasms are weaker than they should be. Hahaha.....

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    But see that's the whole goddamn problem. Sometimes it's fine to have a quick, pointless wank. Sometimes it is nice to take your time and get nice and worked up. When you start thinking that there is a better way to do it that you haven't quite achieved, then it ruins everything. Now you're trying to jack off to an imaginary standard of jacking off. Now you think your orgasms are weaker than they should be. Hahaha.....
    Friend, there is no objective scale of wanking. All that matters is that you have a good time and experience a minimum of emptiness afterward. When it comes to wanking, it is dangerous to try to keep up with the Joneses. Especially Firehose Jones.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  6. #16
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Friend, there is no objective scale of wanking. All that matters is that you have a good time and experience a minimum of emptiness afterward. When it comes to wanking, it is dangerous to try to keep up with the Joneses. Especially Firehose Jones.
    That's exactly what I just said! You're the one who said "then you're not doing it right!"

  7. #17
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I've lived with shame my whole life, due to some deep-seated issues and various opinions in my family and subculture concerning all of them.

    I don't really have a magic formula for getting rid of shame.

    All I know is that it all happened simultaneously with:
    • Learning to let other people be responsible for their emotions and choices, and not letting them be responsible for mine.
    • Internal self-acceptance and ending the denial of who I knew I was on some level. Funny how we can think something and yet still be in denial over it.
    • Accepting that I am flawed... and it's okay, and even if other people SEE my flaws it's okay. No more apologies for anything related to WHO and WHAT I am; I will apologize for mistakes and poor choices, but no more apologies for my identity, nature, strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and whatever else. I am not a mistake, and I'm fine just the way I am.
    • Committing to my path and no longer trying to "have my cake and eat it too." My choices and actions have ramifications. If I feel guilty over my choices and think they're bad, I need to make other choices. If I do not feel guilty over my choices, then I need to openly embrace and accept them and live life to the fullest.


    So: No more need to justify, no more need to appease, no more need to impress, no more need to keep someone by my side. Everyone is free to praise or damn me as they wish.

    None of that matters, regardless of how it feels. All that matters is whether or not I can accept myself and live with a clear conscience.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    That's exactly what I just said! You're the one who said "then you're not doing it right!"
    Gimme a break, I'm making this up as I go along! Besides, if you are having a good time and not comparing yourself to others, you shouldn't be feeling shame!
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  9. #19
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    You people should be ashamed of yourselves for dirtying up Edahn's thread. *shame*

  10. #20
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Isnt there a form of meditation where you focus on a certain type of thoughts? (Like 'Love and Piece' or 'Pretty Wimmen' )

    I know -I- cant help but think when I meditate
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

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