when to call some one out

[ajblaise]

I will call someone out on their bullshit when I am no longer observing to see where it takes them

Yes this reminds me, a lot of the time someone's bullshit actually starts to collapse on themselves, and all one must do is watch. But if the environment is tolerating the bullshit, and it's output is increasing, then something must be done.

 

[kyuuei]

..Hm.. I'm reminded heavily of my exboyfriend.

I think people do have a bit of a responsibility to call out bullshit when its their friends doing it. I could have been saved a lot of grief if my ex's friends called him out on bullshit, instead of allowing his pathological lying to continue and allow me, in turn, to believe it as well because they were too scared to say what was on their minds. They were sick of hearing it, but they didn't feel it their place somehow.. But what better a person than a friend?

I call it out if no one else does.. But I tend to confer with others to make sure I've all my facts straight and no one else has attempted an intervention of sorts, and then pull them aside and talk one on one. I do feel, as a friend, I have a responsibility to ensure my friends aren't being destructive. .. I feel bullshitting and lying on levels enough for anyone to be sick of it is self-destructive, and I never want to see our friendship implode because of it. I'd rather just throw it out in the open.

 

[ajblaise]

I think people do have a bit of a responsibility to call out bullshit when its their friends doing it.

Yeah if friends are involved that seems to introduce a whole new dynamics. I think because friends are suppose to, to some degree, look out for the best interests of each other.

If the bullshit is being leveled on a friend, then standing up for them is considered noble, but if it's your friend bullshitting on someone else, it gets much more complicated. That seemed to be the situation with your ex and his friends.

 

[kuranes]

..Hm.. I'm reminded heavily of my exboyfriend.

I think people do have a bit of a responsibility to call out bullshit when its their friends doing it. I could have been saved a lot of grief if my ex's friends called him out on bullshit, instead of allowing his pathological lying to continue and allow me, in turn, to believe it as well because they were too scared to say what was on their minds.

Wow, I would feel really ( untypically for me ) undecided about what to do if a guy friend of mine confided in me that he was cheating on his girlfriend ( wife ) if he knew that I considered her a friend. Normally I get to know the wife/SO well after building up a rapport with the guy first. ( IOW he eventually invites me to meet her. ) In these situations she is often a brand new friend, and it kills me to leave her in the dark. Fortunately this situation has only come up a few times for me. In one case I told her, In one case I didn't. Well, to be honest, in the case where I did tell her, it wasn't the guy who I found out about the cheating from. It was a woman he had just convinced that he was God's gift, and she told me, as she and I had just started to see one another. She was breaking it off with me on his account. Later she came back to me, but it was never the same. He and I had it out, and it was nasty, and then he convinced his main squeeze that I had just made up the story, so as to get back in her good graces. I had left the only photo I had of another woman friend over there, too, inside a board game I had brought over, and knew I could never get it back after that.

I really hate it when guys do that. Putting me in that fucked up position. Really fuckin' hate it.

It's not as big of a deal if the two openly despise one another, and one of them is just insisting they stay together.

 

[kyuuei]

I feel for you there, and truly empathize with you. Sometimes we're simply unable to do anything when it comes to people's personal lives.. you do what you think is right for as long as you feel able, and let time and truth tend to the rest. Hope for things to balance out.

It's so hard in those situations, because even though you do what you feel is right and confront, you've also in a negative stance been put in a position of being known as confrontational, and in your particular case, been spun around by a liar into a liar. Liars are good at making the truth less than itself, especially when it's a person representing it. People are full of flaws, and liars are really good at picking out the best of the worst and shining it up for the world to see.