Mondo, I don't know what your personal situation is, but is it possible that your just pissed off?
I've had problems with depression for a while now, it seemed like no matter what I tried I couldn't make it any better. All the things that were supposed to help just made it worse for me, then I figured out that it was pretty much just built up anger that I wasn't able to act on and had to be expressed some way. Since I figured that out it's been much easier to deal with things; I still sometimes get that feeling, but a lot less often and much more controlled.
I laffed this morning when I checked in a saw the vectors and Mona Lisa, Mondo. Well, now I'm all better. Maybe you are too. Heh.
If you've been referred by a psychologist, by all means do follow through. It's their job to recognize the real deal and they'll help you figure out the correct means of relief. I repeat - There are no quick fixes to Major Depression. It requires a serious changing of many life habits we've developed which are caused by and which create the problem.
Another thought. A team approach is crucial so make sure that you sign releases of info for both the psychologist and psychiatrist. And it doesn't hurt to give them each a little reminder to stay connected with each other so they are both on the same page with you. This is important.
"No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer
Mondo, I'm not sure how much this will help, but I suffered from depression for ~6 years. It was brought on by my father being in a near-death accident when I was 13 as I was moving in between states with just my parents and no siblings. I became incredibly secluded. I quit school and stayed on my computer all day, everyday. I can't remember what I was really thinking at the time. I didn't think I was depressed and I didn't really think there was anything wrong with me. That's weird, now, thinking about it...
For the next 6 years, my parents brought me to see psychiatrists and therapists all the time. I tried doing home-schooling, but couldn't get into it. I didn't really want to do anything, and gained a hundred pounds sitting at my computer playing games which made me become a Diabetic. I was up to 80mg of paxil a day from my psychiatrist. By about the 5th year, my parents were able to get me to get a job. I started to lose a little weight and tried to socialize with coworkers, but it was a massive failure and I quit. About 6-9 months later, I got another job with the help of my parents, and then that helped a great amount. I started making some really good friends at work, but I still spent ALL of my time outside of work on my computer. I was obsessed. It was all I knew, also.
I slowly weened myself off of it, doing more things in the outside world slowly. After a point, I told myself, "I don't need to be playing games all day anymore. I'm going to fix these problems that I've caused." 2 years later, now, I've lost 105 lbs, gone off my medicine, gotten rid of the Diabetes, gotten a new job that pays twice as much and is way more fun, gotten my GED, started college and become *a lot* more socialable. It just took a lot of time. The hardest part was dealing with the transition into a normal life. I'm still trying to deal with it. It's a lot of emotional discipline.
The actual depression wasn't hard for me because I didn't even know I was in one. The hard part was *after* the depression, realizing what had happened, what I had missed and what I needed to do. There were times where I thought I was just fucked, hid in my room and burst into tears.
My bout was more independent, and focused on myself and my relationship with my doctors. I don't know anything about these support groups. A lot of the discipline to come out of it, I brought about on my own. If anyone, and I mean, ANYONE, tells you, "Get a grip on yourself," tell them to fuck off.
It's funny, because even though I'm now going out in the world and in public (I'm going to school again), I feel a bit more sadness than my usual numbness or anger. Strangely, when I'm around people, I feel even more isolated. I wonder where happiness could be found?
get a new haircut and wardrobe. maybe that will make you feel better
na, idk...i tend to sleep everything off. frustration & sadness or w/e. i hate dealing with my emotions so i just go to sleep. its bad i know =<
but at least i wake up better. idk if its depression or boredom. maybe i just need a hobby :|