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Thread: Depression..

  1. #21
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.

    This is the advice I'm giving myself at least...

  2. #22
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'd be depressed if I went to Duke too. *ducks*

    Seriously though. Have you considered transferring? Four years is a long time. When I left home to go to college (Guilford in Greensboro), I was miserable. I couldn't break the social code there, or something like that. I just couldn't make connections with anyone. When I transferred to UNC things got better pretty much immediately. And I wasn't a part of the frat/sorority party scene there, it didn't appeal to me in the slightest. There were enough niches that I was able to find some freaks fairly quickly.

    If transferring is out of the question, I think your second idea of getting the job done at college and staying close to your connections back home is a good one. I wouldn't give up totally on making friends at school, though--just, stop letting my well-being depend on it. It always seems like once I stop striving for things like that, they usually materialize anyway.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #23
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.

    This is the advice I'm giving myself at least...
    What the fuck do you have to be depressed about?
    we fukin won boys

  4. #24
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    What the fuck do you have to be depressed about?
    That's the depressing part...

  5. #25
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Mondo, congratulations for the bravery to take steps to change.

    You must have a reputable psychologist if he was able to get you in to see a psychiatrist in two weeks. And it speaks well for your good intentions that he was able to do this for you. Many have to wait up to six months around here if they aren't established. Imagine!

    You are certainly not alone. There is a nationwide epidemic of clinical depression at present here in the States.

    You will benefit from your attitude of willingness to listen to your doctor and counselor. So working on trust is important. Don't be afraid to ask any questions you have.

    Nor be afraid to tell your psychiatrist what you think you need.

    Second, doing what they say and having some patience. Improvement won't happen overnight.

    Third, a support group for depressed people will speed your recovery. You'd be surprised how much free help you can get from others who are walking your path. People with experience will be glad to help you. I trust this. They know what it feels like.

    Plan on building resolve to do some things that you don't want to do!

    Finally, recognize that medication is the short-term solution to what may be a long-term issue. It's not a quick or magical cure. If it's prescribed don't be afraid to give it a try. It doesnt mean you will have to take it forever. Sometimes a short period of using medication can lift your mood enough to get you out there and doing things to make yourself feel better.

    Patience in this area is important. Sometimes it takes a while to find the correct medication and dosage.

    Hopefully you will learn some new coping skills. You can start with self-talk. It's surprising how, when we listen closely to what we say to ourselves, we begin to recognize that our thoughts can be self-defeating. Listen to them all day long and it has the same effect as if someone were following us around all day and saying mean things to us. Not good. We don't like it when others do it. Let's not do it to ourselves!

    It takes about thirty days to develop a new habit and this is one you can begin without waiting to see a helper.

    Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #26
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    Ivy: Transferring is likely out of the question at this point.
    Once I take out my social frustrations, Duke is actually a pretty good place.
    I was talking to my sister (who attends a SUNY) about transferring to her school.
    She basically told me that it would be crazy for me to transfer from Duke to SUNY, given what my future plans are.
    It would be cheaper to go SUNY but apparently a Duke degree goes much farther in the real world... I also wouldn't want to go from some douchey private college to another douchey private college. On the other hand, there's always UNC! , but it's pretty expensive OOS and given my lackluster freshman grades- I couldn't see UNC being generous with FA or even accept me in the first place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja
    Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evan
    It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.
    Anja & Evan, thanks for your advice! It would be good to follow. It'll take time. After tonight, I'm going to call my therapist again requesting another appointment. I feel silly canceling things.

    Quote Originally Posted by mitzy
    maybe youre just bored & lazy like me
    mitzy, I think that could be a piece of it too. My friends back home are a little crazier (in a good way) than my friends in college and more fun in many ways. The people I'm with at college are fun too but not in the ridiculously witty and outrageous way as the people I hang out with at home..I don't laugh as easily with them.
    The irony is that my friends in college are more easily amused than my friends back home, only extreme jokes make them laugh and I think I may operate the same way.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  7. #27
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    You're welcome, Mondo.

    Maybe changing your avatar would help? I think it's making me depressed.

    College. Major life transition. I remember how difficult that was.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #28
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    Ivy: Transferring is likely out of the question at this point.
    Once I take out my social frustrations, Duke is actually a pretty good place.
    I was talking to my sister (who attends a SUNY) about transferring to her school.
    She basically told me that it would be crazy for me to transfer from Duke to SUNY, given what my future plans are.
    It would be cheaper to go SUNY but apparently a Duke degree goes much farther in the real world... I also wouldn't want to go from some douchey private college to another douchey private college. On the other hand, there's always UNC! , but it's pretty expensive OOS and given my lackluster freshman grades- I couldn't see UNC being generous with FA or even accept me in the first place.


    Anja & Evan, thanks for your advice! It would be good to follow. It'll take time. After tonight, I'm going to call my therapist again requesting another appointment. I feel silly canceling things.


    mitzy, I think that could be a piece of it too. My friends back home are a little crazier (in a good way) than my friends in college and more fun in many ways. The people I'm with at college are fun too but not in the ridiculously witty and outrageous way as the people I hang out with at home..I don't laugh as easily with them.
    The irony is that my friends in college are more easily amused than my friends back home, only extreme jokes make them laugh and I think I may operate the same way.
    if you've never heard of NLP. Neuro-linguistic-programming. it could change your life (serious). no bullshit, it works!

    PUAs use it for pretty disgusting uses...however thats not what it was intended for. its pretty much like having a manual to how to program software for the human brain. The PUAs use it to reprogram other peoples brains. It actually has very positive uses when used on your own brain to induce positive change.

    -block out memories, anchor any feeling to a 'trigger' (imagine anchoring a sense of confidence from a sports achievement in high school, to a trigger like getting your name called to give a speech), change behavior to align with your objectives, the list goes on and on because NLP isnt really a single exercise, its more of an idea --> method --> excerises that affect almost any area of your life.

    you can create new habits in 10 minutes and block out horrible embarrassments in 10 more. it sounds too great to be true, but if you have an awesome "minds eye" and ACTUALLY DO the exercises it works.

    i recommend:
    Amazon.com: NLP: The New Technology of Achievement: NLP Comprehensive, Steve Andreas, Charles Faulkner: Books

  9. #29
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    Default Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Mondo, congratulations for the bravery to take steps to change.

    You must have a reputable psychologist if he was able to get you in to see a psychiatrist in two weeks. And it speaks well for your good intentions that he was able to do this for you. Many have to wait up to six months around here if they aren't established. Imagine!

    You are certainly not alone. There is a nationwide epidemic of clinical depression at present here in the States.

    You will benefit from your attitude of willingness to listen to your doctor and counselor. So working on trust is important. Don't be afraid to ask any questions you have.

    Nor be afraid to tell your psychiatrist what you think you need.

    Second, doing what they say and having some patience. Improvement won't happen overnight.

    Third, a support group for depressed people will speed your recovery. You'd be surprised how much free help you can get from others who are walking your path. People with experience will be glad to help you. I trust this. They know what it feels like.

    Plan on building resolve to do some things that you don't want to do!

    Finally, recognize that medication is the short-term solution to what may be a long-term issue. It's not a quick or magical cure. If it's prescribed don't be afraid to give it a try. It doesnt mean you will have to take it forever. Sometimes a short period of using medication can lift your mood enough to get you out there and doing things to make yourself feel better.

    Patience in this area is important. Sometimes it takes a while to find the correct medication and dosage.

    Hopefully you will learn some new coping skills. You can start with self-talk. It's surprising how, when we listen closely to what we say to ourselves, we begin to recognize that our thoughts can be self-defeating. Listen to them all day long and it has the same effect as if someone were following us around all day and saying mean things to us. Not good. We don't like it when others do it. Let's not do it to ourselves!

    It takes about thirty days to develop a new habit and this is one you can begin without waiting to see a helper.

    Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.
    This is excellent advice. I would add that if antidepressant medication brings not only relief from the depression but a feeling of being high, a decrease in appetite and need for sleep, call your psychiatrist immediately. I know I harp on bipolar too much, but it most often presents as depression and antidepressants can bring on a mania or hypomania. In addition, you're at just the right age for onset and a major life change like leaving home for college can trigger it. I don't want to be an alarmist, just wanted to add this caveat.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  10. #30
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    All mock-school-spirit aside, Duke really is a fantastic school. I just hate to think of someone having to stay for three more years in a place that makes them unhappy. But with treatment and a change of mindset (easier said than done) I hope it turns around for you.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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