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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    I'm slow to trust but I HAVE had bad experiences in the past which caused me to be slow to trust.

    But maybe other people are like that because it's better to be safe than sorry, right?
    /agree

    I'd say that in the past 10 years distrust has been a hard-earned lesson. It was not my instinct, but it has been learned rapidly over many relationship terrains on many levels.

    Though to be honest, I'd be hard-pressed to say if my distrust served my best interests or hindered them.

    Cause: fear of irreparable emotional injury.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  2. #12
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    For me personally I'm very slow when it comes to trusting someone with my emotions and secerts. Yet I've constantly found it odd that I believe most people aren't out there to screw me over. The INFJ I've known has been very slow to trust as well despite valuing people on such a high level.

    I can't quite figure out what's the reason behind this behaviour. Anybody else identify with it and understand why?
    I'm pretty open about most things, but I have secrets that are just that - secrets. Some things are not meant to be said to anyone else, because people can't keep stuff to themselves. They can't. I believe that a person who can keep a secret must be a person in control of himself regarding everything. A person who can keep a secret needs to be cold... Not some happy-go-lucky type of person.

    I think TJ types are best at keeping secrets, generally. Me and my ISTJ friend and neighbor share a lot, because I know and he knows that none of us will ever tell anyone, even if we're not friends at the moment... It's the ultimate proof of trust... That someone knows all your shit, and don't tell on you even if you have a huge fight that lasts for some time. We had that a few years back, but we became friends again after a year of being worst enemies. He didn't tell anyone shit, even though he's got a lot on me. Sounds like mobster shit...

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  3. #13
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I used to be very very slow to trust people with secrets and inner thoughts. I think it was a combination of my personality and experiences. (no bad experiences? thats unrealistic!!)

    but, as I get older I trust people more and more... my theory is that if you're not afraid to get hurt, and theres nothing to hide, then nothing can really hurt you. If that makes any sense. (I'm terrible at articulating these things..)

  4. #14
    Senior Member blanclait's Avatar
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    my inner thoughts are not a secret. if they are intellectually capable of understanding it, i tell them.
    I never trust anyone 100%. nor 0%

    did i have bad experience? few, but not that bad. i'm really skeptical, and i usually let my intuitive thinking make the decision on every incident of "trust-or-not" scenario. I think given the current situation, what is the likelyhood of X to talk about this? what adv/disadv X has? If none and chances are very low, i tell them. If temptation exists for X, i don't.
    Is not that i think he/she is a bad person. or untrustful, i think even trustworthy people can make mistakes if too much tempations exist. As LocalJesus said, even though i dont think we are talking about the samething; somethings are better left unsaid.

  5. #15
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    I don't know if I'm slow to trust or if I'm just very, very private. I personally hate the idea of letting anyone in my home, but I'm not exactly sure why. I mean, sure, a good deal of is based on mistrust, but I'm not exactly sure as to where and how the mistrust is directed.

  6. #16
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    I seem to know instinctively who I can trust and who I can't. So no one has to earn my trust per se, I give it freely to those I let into my life. I've never been betrayed by anyone who I put my trust in, in return I'm very trustworthy as well.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    I think people's interpretation of trust has a lot to do with it.

    What exactly are you entrusting said person with?

    Ten bucks?
    Your secrets?

    Are you slow to trust people or just slow to make friends? I have plenty of friends (perhaps acquaintances is a better word) that I hang out with but don't particularly trust or care for. To know me I don't feel like you have to earn my trust, it may sound a bit.. cold but after being walked on most my life I place too much stock in friends in general.

    Edit: Perhaps I should read the main title of the post

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