At this point in time, my parents were getting divorce, I despised my living situation with my roommate, hated all my classes, was broke and unemployed, and was in a stage of re-evaluation. Those days consisted of waking up in the afternoon, making some ramen, getting my laughs from watching some Christian Broadcasting Network and browsing the internet. Furthermore, I needed to discover myself.
I have an older ESTP brother whom is only older by less than a year and a half. Growing up, I was his shadow. We always played together, we had the same interests and we were inseparable. I never wanted to let him down, so I developed in the sense to appease him. He was the older brother I wanted to be. As high school approached, I began to develop my individuality slightly, but it wasn't until our separation that I truly began to find some path, any path to my individuality.
Despite conforming my values to my older brothers', deep down, I knew I saw things differently than him. In fact, his values disagreed with mine substantially. I would only catch a glimpse at these values every so often. I was trapped in a box and only had a few breathing holes. Sometimes, I would look through these holes and see a world outside this box of mine, but most of the time, I was concerned with breathing and surviving. I could see these images but they weren't in the slightest bit clear. What was this reality I was breathing but couldn't see nor reach? One day, my box was left open but my older brother was no where to be found. That was rather careless of him, he'll be back. Well, he'll be back soon. He's just gone away for awhile. In the meantime, I'll emerge a little bit from this box to see what this brave new world has to offer - don't want to overstimulate myself. He's gone and the box is gone. I've been thrown away and tossed out into this wasteland rather than this grandeur vision I once had.
I was naked, sheltered and inexperienced. I was scared. He has abandoned me. I am alone. I tried to reconstruct the box but much like the two little pigs, my ingenuity to create a stable structure was lacking. I had no foundation. Why couldn't the world be like the world I could envision outside of the box? Then MBTI came along...
I read both of profiles of an ISFP/INFP. At last, it seems as if I've found something that describes these visions I've had. For awhile, I wasn't very sure of what type I was. I knew for the most part, that I heavily identified with the Fi as my primary function. I wasn't sure about my auxiliary function. I knew only one thing for sure though, I didn't want to be my brother. Forget about abandonment, how could I of fallen for this trap of being kept in a dark box? I'm an individual! A different individual than him. I wanted to find this idealism and channel its creative force into this wasteland constructively.
Throughout high school and the first two years of University, I began to notice a pattern of how well I would do on written assignments vs. definitions on exams. I always like the sound of words, the construction and etymology of words and how words help shape the overall concept, finding the right word to say at the right time, planning out my sentences, etc. I knew after reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance that I was an INFP.
Even though that Spring semester was quite shitty academically, much like a wayfarer, I was happy to be walking on some metaphysical path. After that semester, I tried a few English courses and have been an English Major ever since. MBTI is a mountain a part of a much larger mountain range and this wayfarer intends to travel through it to see what remains to be yielded.