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  1. #61
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    "There is only room for only SO in our life ?" If you think so, you have never been in love
    I agree that people are complex enough that it is hard to make a case that applies across the board. However, there is increased potential for complicating one's life if a person has too many significant others. That term implies prioritization. If you prioritize too many people to that degree all I can say is, good luck.

    Part of the opposing views of trusting enough to not be jealous vs. valuing enough to jealously fear the loss of the other can lead to misunderstanding I think. A lack of romantic jealousy implies no fear of loss. This can be interpreted different ways and can mean various things depending on the situation and people involved.
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  2. #62
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Jealousy is to talk about something you dont have. Envy is to kill for something you dont have.
    In this context their essence is the same, one is simply the intensification of the other, though where in the dictionary do you find such definitions?
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  3. #63
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    Default Jealousy and Envy

    I'm female, INFJ.
    I remember being envious of girls in college whose lives seemed so orderly in comparison to the rollercoaster chaos of my own. They looked so "normal" and I wanted that. I told myself if I tried hard enough, I could have that outward sense of serenity and self-confidence, but never achieved it. Some of this envy persisted through my 20s when I spent half my life on 72-hr holds in psych units and the other half explaining to friends, employers, etc. where I'd been without letting them know the truth. Once I discovered the reason for my rollercoaster life, a lot of this envy dissipated as I came to see it as just part of who I am and over time, even came to the realization that my fluid perception of reality and the uncertainty of what each day would bring enriched rather than detracted from my life. I went through a brief period of envying people who could walk, run, hike, ski, etc., shortly after I was initially disabled, but I don't know if this was really envy so much as a deep longing to return to the person I was before the injury.

    Romantic jealousy...In the early '70s I was in a disastrous "open" marriage (it was kind of a craze in that era and something my husband at the time seemed to need). I was jealous at times, but rarely; it depended on the object of his affections (ex: I had a really hard time when he was convinced he was in love with my best friend). More recently the man I'm in love with was trying to "crack" the back of our dearest friend. Now, she's a Lesbian and I know that while he admires and respects her, there's nothing romantic between them; and I couldn't be more sure of his feelings for me. Nevertheless, the sight of his hands on her (fully-clothed) body sent my heart through the roof. I'm not sure it was jealousy because it didn't really feel like that, but whatever feeling it was was extremely powerful and I can't get a handle on it. Rare for me, since I'm prone to analyzing my feelings to death and usually have a pretty good understanding of them.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  4. #64
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Maybe it was the feeling of wanting to take him out with a heavy-bottomed pan....
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Maybe it was the feeling of wanting to take him out with a heavy-bottomed pan....
    LOL, but nah, I *know* what that feels like.
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  6. #66
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Precisely.

    And for this reason, experiencing a little jealousy myself or from another person does not bother me. In fact, I think it's kinda sweet.
    Yes, exactly.

    And jealousy is sweet 'cause it is spontaneous. And is also reveals our deeper feelings.

    And it is well worth taking note of because it also reveals character.

    And excessive jealousy is like a warning sign, like the red splash on a Redback spider. When you see the warning sign, take your hand away.

    Excessive jealousy can spin out of control - so it is good to know how your mate is jealous. Are they sweetly jealous? Is their jealousy poisonous? Or is their jealousy dangerous?

    In the answer lies their character.

    So I guess you are sweetly jealous, Hmm, and so have a good character.

  7. #67
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Um, no, by no means is jealousy proof of love.

    There are those who feel jealousy regarding their lovers for whom they do not love.
    The striking thing for me is the spontaneity of jealousy - it arises without thinking.

    And so it reveals our deeper self which we often keep hidden behind a veil of thoughts.

    Jealousy also reveals character. Jealousy can show an evil side of someone that has been kept hidden.

    Or jealousy can show restraint and nobility, not shown until now.

    Jealousy is sudden and painful so we don't have time to plan and prepare for it - we must deal with it with the personal resources we have available - and this is our character.

    Some of us have good characters and some bad characters, and many are middling. But often we don't know until we have been tested by jealousy.

  8. #68
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Yes, exactly.

    And jealousy is sweet 'cause it is spontaneous. And is also reveals our deeper feelings.

    And it is well worth taking note of because it also reveals character.

    And excessive jealousy is like a warning sign, like the red splash on a Redback spider. When you see the warning sign, take your hand away.

    Excessive jealousy can spin out of control - so it is good to know how your mate is jealous. Are they sweetly jealous? Is their jealousy poisonous? Or is their jealousy dangerous?

    In the answer lies their character.

    So I guess you are sweetly jealous, Hmm, and so have a good character.
    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    The striking thing for me is the spontaneity of jealousy - it arises without thinking.

    And so it reveals our deeper self which we often keep hidden behind a veil of thoughts.

    Jealousy also reveals character. Jealousy can show an evil side of someone that has been kept hidden.

    Or jealousy can show restraint and nobility, not shown until now.

    Jealousy is sudden and painful so we don't have time to plan and prepare for it - we must deal with it with the personal resources we have available - and this is our character.

    Some of us have good characters and some bad characters, and many are middling. But often we don't know until we have been tested by jealousy.
    Ahh, yes. We are in agreement here.

  9. #69
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    In this context their essence is the same, one is simply the intensification of the other, though where in the dictionary do you find such definitions?
    hehe . Just looked the two words up, well they do actually mean something different.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #70
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Ahh, yes. We are in agreement here.
    How nice to be agreeable.

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