I'm a nasty envious and jealous bitch, my name is Dwigie, I'm 17, "Hi".
Been that way ever since I can remember and it manifested itself in fierce obsessive compulsory competitiveness for all things, palpable or not and at times over achievement.
I didn't do it to because I felt entitled to people's belongings or affection, I was just measuring my own self-worth by others. I have less "x"= I am less "x".
This combined by a habit of noticing what good qualities people possessed first sent me on a mission to restore my self-worth by "bringing" myself to their level.
My self-esteem was either sky-high or downtrodden by the failures and losses the achievements and the victories. I was a thief and still am, sometimes not consciously but I have a pretty "revealing" habit of sweeping the entire surroundings and picking everything in sight regardless to whom it belongs to without thinking.I realize later on I stole something and return it.
Interestingly enough, being aware of this feeling of worthlessness in myself increased my compassion for people because I sometimes "put people in my shoes" to their own benefit and not the other way if that makes sense. I thought people's self-worth was as fragile as mine and made sure to pamper them for this reason by being generous and trying to instill equality in everything.(equality=harmony to me). Basically the boundary between me and others has always been a very big problem for me.
I still have trouble controlling it, but I don't "manifest" so nobody knows.
When we are feeling insecure we get jealous or envious of others if we think about it though.
If everything is going well on our side, there's no need to check elsewhere unless it is to provide or take something.
(I rambled and confused myself a bit actually)