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  1. #41
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I have learned that some people come here with the express goal of being harmful.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    I have learned that some people come here with the express goal of being emotional.
    Fixed
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  3. #43
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I haven't killed a cow in twenty seconds lately. I'm due for some practice.


    That is an outrage!!!

  4. #44
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    I have learned that some people come here with the express goal of being harmful.
    This is true but imagine how much more harmful they are to themselves. Being snarky is one thing but going out of your way repeatedly just to get a rise out of someone is pitiful.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #45
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    I have learned that some people come here with the express goal of being emotional.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    Fixed
    LOL

  6. #46
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Sarah, thank you. That was a very insightful much needed post. This is a forum for all types and I've been guilty of being inconsiderate to others based on stereotypes. I've also been on the receiving end so I should know better. For those of you I have offended with my thoughtlessness while discussing types I do apologize.
    I appreciate that. Actually, I was trying to make the point that stereotypes are tiresome, and if anyone here can come up with some new witty things to say about the faults of my type that actually (a) make sense, and (b) help me understand myself better, go ahead. But you're going to recycle the same old stuff over and over, don't expect me to think it witty. And too much of it makes me feel bad.


    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Jokes in bad taste (done with people who you know well, not some random person) can be funny. What makes them not funny is the sheer volume of them. People in the minority hear them. Every day. Multiple times. You may just be saying one thing to x person, but x person interacts with more than just you....Be more creative. It can get to the point where you feel like the person making the easiest joke is wasting your life, you hear it that often.
    Exactly! It's hearing the same old stupid stuff day after day that wears me out and makes me wonder why I hang out here. In real life, if I spent time around people who made the same stupid non-funny insulting jokes all the time, I'd write them off and move on.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Coincidentally enough, I've heard of the same concern from an ISFP on another board related to MBTI.

    Some types (NTs for example) have a rougher humor than do other types (NFs for example), but just because it's rougher, doesn't mean it's intended to be malicious. Different types express themselves in different ways, and that's kind of what the study of Myers Briggs is all about.

    Having said that, there are people who think that their type is "superior" to other types. Two most common explainations for that are: 1) the person has a very rudimentary (misguided?) knowledge of MBTI, and thinks in very crude terms such as only NTs are capable of strategy, or only SPs are capable of being good athletes, etc; or 2) an insecure person who has no personal accomplishments to show for, views being of certain type as an achievement of its own, in order to supplement for his otherwise low self esteem.

    Or sometimes people are just shitty at making jokes - they say something that they think is funny, but nobody thinks it is, so people wonder if they were being serious. That of course, does not apply to me, because my humor is very refined and universally understood. Those who pretend not to get my jokes are just being haters.
    I agree with both of those -- thanks for writing that. I think a lot of people are just not realizing that if they're going to make mildly-insulting jokes at other people's expense, why not actually make them witty for a change?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kora View Post
    Well... I think you may have a point, but I also think you're overreacting. What I don't understand is, that if you see a flaw in your type, why can only those of your type joke about that?
    Too much F for me to handle, sorry.
    Like sexist humor, it's funnier if someone says it who actually knows what it's like to deal with it. And it's not funny at all if people continue to recycle the same old stupid stuff day after day after day. How many times have you heard a little kid recite a dumb "knock knock" joke he's just heard from a friend (that was never funny in the first place) before you want to scream at him to shut up? That's what I'm talking about.


    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    Why shouldn't she take it personally, when the remarks are directed at her person?

    She's pointing out that even though you may not intend harm or notice harm, it doesn't mean there isn't harm. When mean-spirited remarks that are not particularly funny are oft-repeated to the point of banality, it seems to betray an underlying environment of hostility.

    Sarah, it sucks that people give you back-handed complements. You're a crusader 'round here. An eloquent one to boot.
    Thanks. Sometimes it really does wear me down, and I wonder what the heck 'm even doing here. I could be "doing better" as far as companionship if what I'm putting up with is just recycled lame insults over and over.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    I was actually talking about the take a very good amount of time processing others feelings. In terms of making a post that is pretty much impossible for me. I don't sit and think for hours (which is basically what it would take me to actually process what others could feel) about how my post might affect someone personally. My nature is to provide my "rationale," that sometimes and if real life is reference, might conflict moderately enough with others feelings and value based opinions. When I was younger I tried to make them change in accordance to my preferences but I realized that was a very stupid thing to do, because it never seemed like I won. I did learn how to flex based on peoples emotions, but rarely ever did people try or were they forced to flex based on my need for reasoning.

    I'm not arguing that I can just be a reckless asshole and make jokes with the sole purpose of belittling others, that would be stupid whatever type you are. I just don't know if its reasonable to expect me to be hyper vigilante about how others could take my messages. It's a little bit absurd to ask me to suspend my reasoning and thought process each and every time, basically because some people may be more emotional than I and take things too hard. I don't ask you to rarely post what you feel because I don't like to hear emotional things and like strict technical discussions with sound reasoning. That would be inconsiderate of me.

    I see. Well, I always thought rashness and impulsivity was an SP thing. I guess NTs suffer from it too?

    Believe me, I've fired off more than a few ill-thought-out emails before, and I've lived to regret some of the things I said that really hurt people. Been there, done that. If you look over my original post, I was wondering aloud whether or not people could take a second or two to ask themselves "What is the likely impact of my post?" and "Do I really want to say THAT to this particular person"? I would actually have assumed that precise, analytical NTs would be especially GOOD at pausing before they post to ask whether or not this is what they really want to say and how they want to say it.

    aside: it cracks me up to hear you guys talk about emotional posts -- just imagine how much worse it would be if I were getting all bent out of shape IN PERSON about this. Scaaaaary. I live for intense feelings and emotional passion!

    Sarah

  7. #47
    Senior Member sandwich's Avatar
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    I find it delightfully ironic that the sentiments of the OP are the epitome of ISFP stereotypes.

    sandwich

  8. #48
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this thread is. I understand that you are tired of being poked fun at for the same old crap but do you honestly think the people on this forum are going to change for you?

    Usually when there is a problem between an individual and a huge group, the individual is going to have to either change something about themselves or leave. Its unfortunate and I do understand where you are coming from....but there is little to nothing you can do. People are things you cannot control, and thats the sad (and beautiful) thing about humanity.

    I hope that something will be accomplished in this thread, but at the same time I highly doubt it will. Its probably best advised for you to handle these situations individually instead of lumping them all together and making a thread like this.

  9. #49
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kora View Post
    I see. Oh, then I quite agree with you, Sarah. Quality over quantity, but I still think you're taking it very personal.
    I don't rule that out, Kora, believe me. I stated right from the start that I'm sensitive. It's kind of like a blister sore that keeps getting rubbed instead of being allowed to heal, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    I think this is a good point.

    In addition, sometimes jokes betray a prejudice that runs a lot deeper. That is why people really take offense. If people knew one didn't believe any of the crap one was saying then, it would be different.

    Among strangers, especially those who have experienced discrimination directly, jokes have a rather different meaning.
    I think this is what happens a lot.

    Some of it is understandable--feeling like an outcast or a defective person till you find out you are a certain type and that's why you've been so weird is a sort of vindication that it is OK to be you.

    But that is true for people of all types of people who have been placed in situations where their own qualities have caused them a lot of trouble. There is nothing particularly special about a particular type...or you could look at it like we are all "special." Take your pick.
    Thanks, Ygolo -- I agree with you. I do feel badly that people have been wounded by others who are insensitive, and that possibly some of the insensitivity has come from people of my type or temperament. I have a hard time separating what people write from what they "really think" because I don't know what any of you really think. And even despite emoticons, it's hard sometimes to tell how much venom someone really has inside them. It's exhausting to try to figure it all out. I guess I'm much more of a say-what-you-mean kind of person.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Sarah you're focusing on what you view to be negative and ignoring the positive comments several posters have made here, eh em...present company included.

    I never thought I'd say this to someone other than myself, but I think you're being too sensitive.
    No, I understand -- I was busy and didn't have time to read all the comments. Thank you for considering what I wrote.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    Sarah, I suggest you try the Ignore function. As this thread indicates, you can't change the jokers' attitudes, so if what they say bothers you, try that. Many people here are relatively mature and thoughtful - why not ignore the ones who aren't?

    I will also say participation on the forum involves being tested as a newcomer - I was slammed early on by a senior member. It's not meant as personally as it seems.

    You've made friends here and you'll make more. But everyone won't like your type or other things about you. Try to let some things go.
    Ignore function? What's that?

    And... I understand the venom against some SPs and some ISFPs. I really do. I'm not holding myself up as an example of what to be like. I think this world would totally go to pot if it were made up of nothing but ISFPs with personalities like me. (for one thing, nothing "boring" would ever get done...) I fully realize I've got a boatload of faults. I'm just tired of hearing stupid canned insults all the time, and being told I need to laugh at them and congratulate the posters re their nonexistant wit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Some people don't have anything else to offer to get attention so they settle for negative attention and call it "being tough." Compensation for lack of knowledge by trying to look superior.

    A sad thing and painfully true in RL. It's expected for some young people. They may have never been cared about enough to be taught better. They have lots to learn yet before they have something useful to contribute. If they don't learn something along the way it looks pretty pathetic as one "matures."

    Some feel a need to "punish" others for the hand life has dealt them. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of abuse. Wounded egos make for pretty miserable companions.

    Other posters may be struggling with mood or thought disorders and not attending to their health.

    If it's small consolation, their lives are much more miserable for them to live then it is for others to watch.

    It grieves me to know something they don't. All they need to do is take a cue from those around them and do the hard work it takes to enter the society which they choose to distain because they don't know how to enter it.

    Lonely, frustrated, angry, hurt. Tough way to live a life. And a poor decision not to try to change that.
    I guess I'd rather use type to help me form better relationships with others, and I'm continually amazed at what I see as being the opposite use of that from a lot of posters. Maybe I should just resign myself to thinking that most people prefer using type negatively?


    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I should have added, Sarah, that I understand that your OP wasn't as much a question as it was an opportunity to speak my mind about some of the maladaptive behaviors hereabouts and I appreciated that.

    I like the phrase "pre-cognitive commitment." Guess that's what I was saying. My post sounds like a put-down, I realize. And I think any student of human behavior will recognize what truth there is in it.

    The good news is that there are other ways to attempt self-development and satisfaction in life and being on a forum of this type is a beginning.
    Thanks -- I appreciate your comments, and the input of everyone else who's had something thoughtful to say.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    When I was a mechanic, I had to roll with a million "joking" put-downs a day. Some days, I could take it or even laugh it off. Other days, like when the ENTIRE garage full of guys were using me for mob target practice? I'd pretty much lose any patience I had left and it would be ON. I was the only woman in there and even though I knew it was going to be open-season on me more than it wasn't, I wasn't responsible for the idiocy of the people around me and I wasn't going to just stand there and let them crack the 50th "little lady" joke without getting it right between the eyes.

    Consider the quantity of "nice for an S blah blah" the few Sensers on this board are dealing with. It's obnoxious and dim-witted repeated ad nauseum.
    Yes yes yes Exactly! Thanks for the concrete example of exactly the sort of thing I mean, only applied to type patterns. It's tiresome, folks. Really, genuinely tiresome to hear the same old stuff again and again. If you must insult everyone of a certain type code, think up something new and witty, and something that actually helps people of that type understand their tendencies a little bit beter so they can grow.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    This is true but imagine how much more harmful they are to themselves. Being snarky is one thing but going out of your way repeatedly just to get a rise out of someone is pitiful.
    yeah. Agreed.

    Sarah

  10. #50
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this thread is. I understand that you are tired of being poked fun at for the same old crap but do you honestly think the people on this forum are going to change for you?

    Usually when there is a problem between an individual and a huge group, the individual is going to have to either change something about themselves or leave. Its unfortunate and I do understand where you are coming from....but there is little to nothing you can do. People are things you cannot control, and thats the sad (and beautiful) thing about humanity.

    I hope that something will be accomplished in this thread, but at the same time I highly doubt it will. Its probably best advised for you to handle these situations individually instead of lumping them all together and making a thread like this.

    No, I didn't expect change. I figured either I could continue to feel annoyed, resentful and angry, or I could speak my mind. I chose to speak my mind. So sorry you have a problem with that.

    May I ask why you think I need to "change" in order to become more like the people posting the lame, put-down humor?

    And are you suggesting that everyone needs to knuckle under and be obedient to those few who think they're witty and who demand positive attention for whatever insulting things they post?

    Sarah

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