Why shouldn't she take it personally, when the remarks are directed at her person?
She's pointing out that even though you may not intend harm or notice harm, it doesn't mean there isn't harm. When mean-spirited remarks that are not particularly funny are oft-repeated to the point of banality, it seems to betray an underlying environment of hostility.
Sarah, it sucks that people give you back-handed complements. You're a crusader 'round here. An eloquent one to boot.
Well, I hardly believe the definition of an "NT" is a person who is compelled to make supid "jokes" that people never found funny the first hundred or so times they read them or heard them said. If you think so, then that's too bad. Discuss that with the other NTs who perhaps don't share your viewpoint.
Note that I didn't say "don't be witty". I said that I find this particular type of backhanded compliment humor not all witty, and that hearing type-related insults over and over is tiresome rather than amusing. And by the way, I fully predicted that anyone who thinks offensive type-related comments are fun to dish out would just get defensive. How very predictable.
I was actually talking about the take a very good amount of time processing others feelings. In terms of making a post that is pretty much impossible for me. I don't sit and think for hours (which is basically what it would take me to actually process what others could feel) about how my post might affect someone personally. My nature is to provide my "rationale," that sometimes and if real life is any reference, might conflict moderately enough with others feelings and value based opinions. When I was younger I tried to make them change in accordance to my preferences but I realized that was a very stupid thing to do, because it never seemed like I "won". I did learn however to flex based on peoples emotions, but rarely if ever did people try, or were they forced to flex based on my need for reasoning.
I'm not arguing that I can just be a reckless asshole and make jokes with the sole purpose of belittling others, that would be stupid whatever type you are. I just don't know if its reasonable to expect me to be hyper vigilante about how others could take my messages. It's a little bit absurd to ask me to suspend my reasoning and thought process each and every time, basically because some people may be more emotional than I and take things too hard. I don't ask you to rarely post what you feel because I don't like to hear emotional things and would prefer strict technical discussions with sound reasoning. That would be inconsiderate of me.
My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.
Jokes in bad taste (done with people who you know well, not some random person) can be funny. What makes them not funny is the sheer volume of them.
People in the minority hear them. Every day. Multiple times. You may just be saying one thing to x person, but x person interacts with more than just you.
Like your sexist jokes about how even the worst man is better than the best woman. Haha. Funny. (Genuinely has the potential to be funny as it mocks male ego, etc.) But we heard that when we were in elementary school every day at recess from the boys, and we continue to hear it daily. It's not a funny joke anymore to people in the minority who hear it constantly. That's true for anyone who constantly interacts as the minority.
Be more creative. It can get to the point where you feel like the person making the easiest joke is wasting your life, you hear it that often.
I think this is a good point.
In addition, sometimes jokes betray a prejudice that runs a lot deeper. That is why people really take offense. If people knew one didn't believe any of the crap one was saying then, it would be different.
Among strangers, especially those who have experienced discrimination directly, jokes have a rather different meaning.
Originally Posted by Edgar
2) an insecure person who has no personal accomplishments to show for, views being of certain type as an achievement of its own, in order to supplement for his otherwise low self esteem.
I think this is what happens a lot.
Some of it is understandable--feeling like an outcast or a defective person till you find out you are a certain type and that's why you've been so weird is a sort of vindication that it is OK to be you.
But that is true for people of all types of people who have been placed in situations where their own qualities have caused them a lot of trouble. There is nothing particularly special about a particular type...or you could look at it like we are all "special." Take your pick.
Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future. Robot Fusion
"As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
"[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
"[P]etabytes of  data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield
Sarah, I suggest you try the Ignore function. As this thread indicates, you can't change the jokers' attitudes, so if what they say bothers you, try that. Many people here are relatively mature and thoughtful - why not ignore the ones who aren't?
I will also say participation on the forum involves being tested as a newcomer - I was slammed early on by a senior member. It's not meant as personally as it seems.
You've made friends here and you'll make more. But everyone won't like your type or other things about you. Try to let some things go.