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  1. #231
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    You can't fool us. You loved it!
    Who doesn't love french toast?

    I was quite nervous but now I can cross modeling off my life accomplishment list. <hairflip>
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #232
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Nah, like I said I'm more envious of all these lame jokes she's apparently receiving in private messages. I want some! All I ever get in PMs is people telling me how cool and funny and sexy I am. It gets old, ya know?
    Yeah, life's rough sometimes. for all that is causing Jeffster's angst and blues.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #233
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    you have to enlighten me.

    All I got right now is that usehername is in the porno business and I am the one who has the pleasure talking to her. Give me a hint here, I do not want to mess up THIS chance
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #234
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    you have to enlighten me.

    All I got right now is that usehername is in the porno business and I am the one who has the pleasure talking to her. Give me a hint here, I do not want to mess up THIS chance
    I would assert my Good Christian Girl nature but I'm wary about you perverting it into something dirty. lol.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  5. #235
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Ah folks, you really have to learn the language ! I dont get you

    Best thing after porn business I can come up with is this:

    [YOUTUBE="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rAF7LIZo_hU"]Bombardment[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #236
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I would assert my Good Christian Girl nature but I'm wary about you perverting it into something dirty. lol.
    Please do go on...
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  7. #237
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    So you're saying I shouldn't even bother to have written this, because people are so predictable that they'll just inevitably defend themselves and their behavior rather than ask themselves if it's really worthwhile, or if it's really making the kind of impact they think it is?

    I really thought better of people here, but .. oh well.

    Sarah
    I think most people will. You make good points--very good points--but I think most decent people on these boards would already have thought about these things. But I suppose, just as some people will continue to fall into these embarrassing behavior patterns, some people will have to continue to call them on it like you've done here. It balances things out.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #238
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I’ve probably lived a sheltered life and this group may be the Real World, for all I know, but sometimes reading posts here can feel as if I’ve walked into the wrong sort of party. I know most of us pay lip service to the idea that all types are equally as valuable, and yet, I can’t log in without noticing somebody jokingly belittle everyone of a particular type in general or a pattern of type preferences. It’s possible that I was raised to believe that the best jokes are the self-deprecating kind, and this is the sort I prefer, but it seems to me that whether or not your comments are perceived as funny or annoying depends a lot on the life experiences and beliefs of your audience. It pays to care about the impact you’re having on others.

    For example, I’m really tired of hearing people make lame jokes to me via comments or private email to the effect that I’m “all right for a Sensor (or Feeler)”, or that “despite my being a Sensor/Feeler, I (surprisingly) have a point.” I wonder if the people who dish out backhanded compliments or insult in jest like that may not realize that their humor is (a) not original, and (b) about as irritating as nails scratching a chalkboard. The only reaction you’re likely to get from me or others who feel the same way is a long drawn-out sigh.

    I don’t usually experience my type preferences as limitations, but on the occasions when I do, then yeah, I find talking about myself in a self-deprecating way funny. And like most people, I find other people’s self-deprecating comments funny, as long as I know they don’t really think that badly of themselves But if people point out to me how I’ve failed to Be Just Like Them, it doesn’t strike me as funny. It actually makes me wonder whether their mind is capable of being flexible, or if they are “married” to their negative beliefs. (My hubby says that “pre-cognitive commitment” is the technical term for that. I love being married to a teacher.)

    May I propose something, for those who are inclined to bash other people’s type preferences for fun? Before dashing something off impulsively and hitting the send button (yeah, the irony of an SP asking people to be less impulsive isn’t lost on me), could you ask yourself:

    • What sort of impact is my “joke” or “harmless insult” likely to have on the recipient?
    • Has the other person heard that “joke” millions of times before?
    • Is that person likely to find “jokes” like the one I’m dying to post amusing or annoying?


    I wasn't sure if this was the right place for this request. And yes I realize I'm leaving myself wide open for people who think I'm "hypersenstive" to tell me that if I can't play hardball with the tough guys, I should just go away.

    Sarah
    ISFP
    Bravo! Quite right and very well said.

  9. #239
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Yeah, life's rough sometimes. for all that is causing Jeffster's angst and blues.

    You know, I don't think we settled the question of what Jeffster's legs look like. Weren't we promised photos?

    Sarah

  10. #240
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    Why shouldn't she take it personally, when the remarks are directed at her person?

    She's pointing out that even though you may not intend harm or notice harm, it doesn't mean there isn't harm. When mean-spirited remarks that are not particularly funny are oft-repeated to the point of banality, it seems to betray an underlying environment of hostility.

    Sarah, it sucks that people give you back-handed complements. You're a crusader 'round here. An eloquent one to boot.
    I agree. Well said.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this thread is. I understand that you are tired of being poked fun at for the same old crap but do you honestly think the people on this forum are going to change for you?

    Usually when there is a problem between an individual and a huge group, the individual is going to have to either change something about themselves or leave. Its unfortunate and I do understand where you are coming from....but there is little to nothing you can do. People are things you cannot control, and thats the sad (and beautiful) thing about humanity.

    I hope that something will be accomplished in this thread, but at the same time I highly doubt it will. Its probably best advised for you to handle these situations individually instead of lumping them all together and making a thread like this.
    There are some people who will read Sarah's post and adjust their ways in order to be less offensive. Some types such as INTJs don't have a very good feeling-meter, and need to be told when they're being offensive. I personally admire Sarah's excellent skills of diplomacy. That was an awesome OP.

    When I feel like cracking a joke, I consider the person's type before doing so.
    Usually, I choose not to because it's not worth offending people or hurting their feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    filled with NF's
    Actually, there are 996 NTs on this board and 881 NFs.

    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    Actualy, I hadn't meant to make this a thread just about me. I'm sick of all the lame, repetitive insults lobbed at all the other types too.

    Basically, here's what I wanted to say in a nutshell:

    • witty constructive criticism = good (even if painful)
    • recycling lame jokes that were never funny to begin with = boring and annoying.
    • mean-spirited comments said just because the poster likes being mean = pointless and hurtful to some people
    • thinking about how your comments may be received by the person you're replying to = a wise move


    There. Is that so bad, everyone?

    Sarah
    I knew what you meant.

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