User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 21

  1. #1
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Socionics
    esTp
    Posts
    1,400

    Arrow Weird Feeling when People "leave" you

    Hello again, fellow MBTI-lings
    I have a Question, based upon my personal Experience, and I was wondering if Somebody has the same or an Explanation at least. So here it goes:

    Imagine you have a Friendship with Somebody and you get along well. Then Something happens between you (it can be ANYTHING) and one Person "leaves", do you have a weird, unknown "Feeling" left too?

    It does happen to me all the Time. I am a Friend of Some1, a Girlfriend, Familymember or whatever and then Something happens and it breaks. You stop talking to each Other. Then I get this weird "Feeling" of..."I gave Something away" or...IDK, just Something really bothering. Does Any1 have ANY Idea about what that could be? Because I have been puzzled about this for quite a While now. And in Order to fix the Problem, I need to know what the Problem is. So...I would really appreciate any Theories, no matter how weird they might sound.
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

  2. #2
    Senior Member Dwigie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    658

    Default

    I experience this also, I feel that "*sigh*It's too bad, I wish we didn't end that way", kind of disappointed I had to let go of someone I cared about. It's very similar to nostalgia, it's nostalgia because I rarely try and fix a relationship I myself broke., I don't really consider the option of going back, missed opportunities will simply play inside my head.
    If I ended a relationship it's for a good reason and I don't let a "fleeting feeling" get to me.
    If the other person leaves, it's the same but I feel disappointed to not have lived up to their expectation and ashamed I've hurt them because they left for a good reason I suppose?
    I'm assuming all the "departures" are done with a good reason?
    Sometimes I feel like I'm "on Mercury"-

  3. #3
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    Usually, I'm the one who does the leaving, so I can help you with the other side of the equation should you ever feel curious.

  4. #4
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Socionics
    esTp
    Posts
    1,400

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dwigie View Post
    If the other person leaves, it's the same but I feel disappointed to not have lived up to their expectation and ashamed I've hurt them because they left for a good reason I suppose?
    I'm assuming all the "departures" are done with a good reason?
    Hm, that is a really interesting Theory. Not filling the Expectations.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar
    Usually, I'm the one who does the leaving, so I can help you with the other side of the equation should you ever feel curious.
    Yeah, normally I am on that Side too. Maybe that IS actually the Problem.
    Even if...then I get that too. It's odd.
    But sure, please let me hear how you feel after leaving Some1! I only know how I always feel so, I would be very curious on Views by other Persons (my Friends can't really help me on this. They dun even seem to understand, IDK *shrugs*).


    It "feels like" I'd have only a few "Split Tickets" and then when I have to give one away you get this...mixed Feeling. I guess it is Something between Regrets, Disappointement and also Paranoia. Because I noticed that the first Thing I will assume after is, that People will go and spread Lies about me, because I "was sooo mean to leave them" or whatever. Does that even make any Sense?
    God, this is REALLY hard to describe, I swear.
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

  5. #5
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GargoylesLegacy View Post
    Hm, that is a really interesting Theory. Not filling the Expectations.



    Yeah, normally I am on that Side too. Maybe that IS actually the Problem.
    Even if...then I get that too. It's odd.

    It "feels like" I'd have only a few "Split Tickets" and then when I have to give one away you get this...mixed Feeling. I guess it is Something between Regrets, Disappointement and also Paranoia. Because I noticed that the first Thing I will assume after is, that People will go and spread Lies about me, because I "was sooo mean to leave them" or whatever. Does that even make any Sense?
    God, this is REALLY hard to describe, I swear.
    Well it all depends on how the thing went down (i.e. under what circumstances you were "left")

  6. #6
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,122

    Default

    I tend to do the leaving myself, or it's mutual and I THINK I was the one who left

    However, I tend to move rather quickly and only the most persistant friends seem to stick, and they're the ones who don't tend to leave. I had an ex who told me I was only good at two things, one of which was leaving people (and in the end him).
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #7
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,313

    Default

    Maybe it's the lack of closure which offends your "J-ness". Do these relationships end spontaneously or do you both talk to eachother and choose to end it?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Dwigie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    658

    Default

    Yeah, that is true. Not having closure feels strange.
    Oh yeah I always get the "you're so mean" too, ignore that . It's just because you felt like you were wasting your time or that it wasn't working out and you did something about it. Often, people who are "active" in relationships get blamed for what happens when it turns bad.
    Sometimes I feel like I'm "on Mercury"-

  9. #9
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Socionics
    esTp
    Posts
    1,400

    Default

    Maybe it's the lack of closure which offends your "J-ness". Do these relationships end spontaneously or do you both talk to eachother and choose to end it?
    Gee...yeah maybe that's actually it. I HATE when there is no Closure. I really do. .o

    Oh and mostly the Relationships end "spontaneous". You know, first you are perfectly fine, then some weird Things changes and it all blows off.
    I mean when I leave Some1 "spontaneous" this Thing can happen too, but mostly I only leave Persons after a real "Emergency" and mostly I always think about it for a while first. But when others just randomly do for some stupid Reason, you can't REALLY be prepared (even if you "knew" for Weeks, as in 6th Sense or so).

    Do you actually have Experiences with "J-ness" and such Things (not being able to close properly)?


    Well it all depends on how the thing went down (i.e. under what circumstances you were "left")
    Oh Gee...different Stuff, really. But often it has been random. Everything was fine and then all of a sudden BANG - gone.
    Or what is also classy is that you have been Friends forever and all of a sudden the other is reeeeally annoyed by a Quality of yours (even tho before he didn'T complain about it for Years).
    When I leave, then it is mostly me just being superannoyed. For Instance when People seek my Help and I work my Ass off to help them, but then even after Years they dun do Anything about it but complain. Classy, really.

    Often, people who are "active" in relationships get blamed for what happens when it turns bad.
    Oh Gee, yeah!! Tell me about it! I would constantly work my Ass off, talk to People and make sure Stuff is clear and in the End I would hear "You never did anything". Doh!
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

  10. #10
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    504

    Default

    Lol, an INTJ not understanding his emotions.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] Do you hate when people see you as hippie?
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 116
    Last Post: 02-21-2011, 01:02 PM
  2. [INFJ] To Other Types: How does it feel when an INFJ gives you the (super) cold shoulder?
    By fill in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 10-03-2009, 06:23 AM
  3. [NF] What's your feeling when you listen to Ameno (performed by era)?
    By enfp1091 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-06-2009, 12:08 AM
  4. [ENFJ] Fellow ENFJ's: Do You Ever Feel Like People Just Use You?
    By Desperado44 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 76
    Last Post: 04-07-2009, 03:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO