That's right.. thats what happens when you experience ANY loss... not just a death. Its not as intense of a feeling, but its the same thing to some extent.
And nobody likes not having closure.
Yes. I have to agree that even for me...a strong P...closure has it's place.
Not to get too personal or touchy feely but I am a widow with many unanswered questions about my husband's death. That lack of closure impedes the grieving process. I can not put him to rest so to speak....I can not work through the loss effectively. Instead, I am in a circling train of thought ...a snake eating it's own tail.
When you lose something or someone that is part of what your brain has decided is a permanent part of your life....and it happens with little understanding...it makes it harder to just get on with things. You feel that nag to have those questions answered and to know why you are no longer getting the stimulus that the missing element provided.
This is on top of the actual missing of whatever was lost.
It is a form of grieving. You can grieve anything or anyone to varying degrees.
Absolutely. Sometimes it's intense and sometimes not so, but it's a naural part of almost any loss. It's worse for me when I don't understand the reason for the loss.
Ex: Some years ago I acquired a physical disability *and* all my friemds disappeared from my life. The injury was one of those random things, so that drove me nuts because there was no reason behind it; it just happened.(I'm not one of those ppl who thinks everything happens for a reason.) Took maybe a year to get through grieving the loss of the person I was before the injury. The loss of my friends was easier because I figured out they couldn't cope with the differences in me any better than I could at first. Didn't bring my friends back into my life, but it was easier to get closure since I could see the reason--or at least *a* reason--for their leaving.
Sounds like part of what is baffling you is not knowing the reason behind the departure?
It's a blessing...and a curse.
Originally Posted by Anja
I don't have room for shame in my life.
Oh Gee, so many Replies! Seriously, thanks for that, to Every1 of you. I am just happy I can bring such Stuff up here, because when I ask other Persons it's kinda...well, my Dad always goes with "Someday it will be better" kind of Thing (which doesn't really help me when I look for Reasons) and my one weird INTP Friend just said "I should drown my Sorrows in Drinks". Yeah uhm...VERY helpful, isn't it?
The only useful Thing he said was "Maybe you lose a Piece of your Humanity everytime". Uh, but that sounds pretty dark and somewhat emo and I do believe I am not THAT uh...strange.
So, what I keep reading is "not being able to close" (which I definitely hate and actually it drives me nuts), grieving and Guilt.
I do believe that I also found out - thanks to you all - that, since I am a freaking Perfectionist, it bothers me that now a Person has a "bad Opinion about me". Yeah, not very INTJ-ish but actually that has been quite a big Part in my Life. When I was younger I always had to be perfect. Probably it is still in here, somewhere. Woulc explain my "Paranoia" afterwards (me thinking People will start Rumours about me etc)
In any Way...thanks a lot so far. It's great that at least here People can help me out with Theories, while my Friends seem to not care as always. :rolli:
Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.