User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 32

  1. #11
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I see this post as horribly immature.

    There is no fooling in self awareness and improvement.

    Only in perception.
    On the contrary... I selected the title and keywords to elicit responses.

    What I meant by fooling is relating to perception. In some cases, perception is everything. What starts out as an act becomes genuine.

    An example:
    Pretend you're a shy person that hates public speaking. However presentation skills are virtually a must-have if you want that senior management position. What do you do? You pretend you're okay with everything. Step in front of the investors and make your speech.

    Yes, it's an act. But your audience is expecting you to sell stuff to them. Because of their expectations, they didn't see it as "fake" because it goes with the position.

    A positive response (or at least not a negative one). You see that perhaps your initial fear is an overreaction. You go out there and make some more speeches. Practice makes perfect.

    It doesn't really change your base nature as an introvert... so what's wrong with "faking"?

  2. #12
    Senior Member Wade Wilson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    411

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    What is the truth? Whatever you make it to be. Most of it are skills that you can learn. You can't always go around using "I'm shy" as an excuse.
    Truth is accepting who you are, shortcomings and all. The willingness to overcome shortcomings is up to the individual, though these things are also what make us human after all.

    If someone wants to overcome their shyness, it has to be a genuine evolution. They have to be willing to put in the sacrifice and effort to grow. If someone is just pretending not to be shy in a situation, they're going to go right back to where they were afterwards and soon their entire being is a lie, because they're not acting to grow as a person, but just to accommodate the situation they find themself in.
    I know a girl, she's one of a kind
    But the poor little thing, she's going out of her mind
    There's something you forgot - there's a reason why she's lost
    Cos baby she don't want to be found

  3. #13
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GargoylesLegacy View Post
    Well uhm...it can become a "bad Habit", meaning if you don't pay Attention it can get "stuck", so you always act Different for Others, which is NOT good. So it starts with you wanting to "protect Others" or however you wanna call it, and it can end with "Others decide about your favorite Food". Then Somewhen you realize...you have no freaking Idea who you are anymore.
    That's why I keep it down. But Sometimes you just have to do the Mask-Thing. Especially if it is about Stuff like - for Example - being honest to Others. I mean I always am, but Sometimes I had to "not tell it all" in Order to not hurt the other Person, because if I did, I would have known that they would have gone suicidal on me. And that's sure the least Thing you want.

    There's seriously just a very thin Path in between, just like with Everything else in Life. It's always the Dosis that makes the Difference.
    Yes yes. Loss of self amidst the acting. Everything must be balanced. For their wellbeing and yours.

    I think I should pose silly comments more often. This is great! Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    What if, after a while, the faking becomes sincere? You convince yourself that that's how you are, and you can't tell the difference. Sound possible? (Nightning, is that related to what you're saying?)
    *big thumbs up* Exactly what I'm getting at!

  4. #14
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,741

    Default

    "Faking" is a very valuable and necessary thing to do in a number of situations because it gives you the confidence in your actions. If you feel good about something or feel you are likely to succeed the steadiness and forcefulness will show in your thoughts and actions. Why do you hesitate, stumble, procrastinate when it comes to giving someone negative feedback, because it is an inherently negative thing(emotion wise), when you are celebrating something you are in a positive state therefore your actions and thoughts are a lot more clear, deliberate, and controlled.

    Basically any professional who strives to succeed or excel and has to take in to account varying emotional states knows it is necessary to have a positive mindset before taking action, whether that is the case or not. There is a lot of evidence for this on a neurological level, psychological, anecdotal, experiential and so forth.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  5. #15
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Socionics
    esTp
    Posts
    1,400

    Default

    Of Course...you CAN use this Maskquing as a Way to do "Self-Therapy" too. It is like "Affirmations", which is an often used Tool in Spirituality and also Psychology. If done right you can "make yourself believe" that you CAN be open instead of shy or whatever and while living it you seriously help yourself. I kinda did that. I was so freaking shy and quiet, that you wouldn't notice me in a Room with you, so somewhen what I did was to just act like I was all open and extroverted and as you can clearly see it worked.
    It's really just a Question on the Dosis, WHY you are doing it, HOW and for WHO. It can kill you, or heal, either one.

  6. #16
    Senior Member placebo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    492

    Default

    I've often felt that 'faking it til you make it' was necessary in tough situations. It's what gets you through. I don't see how acting more confident than you feel is necessarily a bad thing... I feel it's a challenge and that in the end it helps you become stronger and actually more confident. You can become who you pretend to be to some degree, so if you choose to pretend to be someone confident (or anything you would prefer), you'll adopt those characteristics and behaviours naturally after awhile. 'Fake it 'til you make it' doesn't mean you 'fake' your personality and that you become untrue to yourself and plastic or what not. It's just a method and a means of getting closer to something you want. It means you act with more strength then you feel you might actually have, in order to get to a point where you don't have to keep 'faking it', because you've 'made it', you've reached a point suitable for your own strength.

  7. #17
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    *big thumbs up* Exactly what I'm getting at!
    Actually, your Post #11 led my doubts in the other direction... (along with the last several posts) I bow out!
    Last edited by Cimarron; 11-03-2008 at 02:46 AM. Reason: new posts
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #18
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    3,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    As per title, "Fake it til you make it". Yay or nay?

    Why shouldn't you try to get rid of some of your bad traits like shyness and neuroticism by pretending to be otherwise? Mind over matter? Fool others, fool yourself? Is there anything wrong with that?
    Yes.

    It is not pretending though.
    It is about finding the extra key.
    The key already in the keyboard.

    What is the difference between a conman and a genuine actor on the stage?
    The genuine actor finds the resource within.
    The conman does not.

    A part is a fragment in the whole?
    The whole is a fragment in the part.

    Only the party is inclusive.
    The non party is exclusive.

  9. #19
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wade Wilson View Post
    Truth is accepting who you are, shortcomings and all. The willingness to overcome shortcomings is up to the individual, though these things are also what make us human after all.

    If someone wants to overcome their shyness, it has to be a genuine evolution. They have to be willing to put in the sacrifice and effort to grow. If someone is just pretending not to be shy in a situation, they're going to go right back to where they were afterwards and soon their entire being is a lie, because they're not acting to grow as a person, but just to accommodate the situation they find themself in.
    I don't understand. Is the effort puts in to "act out a role" not equated to a sacrifice in hopes of becoming better? The easiest way out is to do nothing... Doesn't the willingness to try "faking it" indicates desire for growth?

    Perhaps you have a disagreement with my use of the word "fake".

    Thank you everybody for your responses. I take it that most people agree with my statement despite the negative connotations placed upon the words. Now for the second portion of my inquiry...

    *goes start a new thread*

  10. #20
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    410

    Default

    I am actually much happier, confident, and at ease with myself now that I no longer try to be someone I'm not. My mom was always of the opinion that I needed to be "fixed" somehow, and that I would never get anywhere in life if I didn't conform to that, even going so far as to say that I'll end up being a homeless bum. Her drilling that line of thinking into me for most of my entire life, rather than nurturing my natural strong points and being emotionally supportive, was very detrimental and caused a lot of problems for me and made things way more difficult than they should be. I tried my very best to change those areas she thought needed changing, but no matter what I did, it didn't work one bit, and it was extremely frustrating. During the past year or so I stopped trying to do that (especially now that I no longer live with my family), and only now have I finally been able to really improve as a person while still being myself at all times.

    I just wanted to say that for some people, this really doesn't work.

Similar Threads

  1. [E8] Type 8 and type 5 - How can you make it work?
    By CubeWuerfel in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-21-2017, 12:58 PM
  2. Life is what you make of it ?
    By vince in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 02-05-2010, 01:22 PM
  3. Fake it til you make it part II
    By nightning in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 11-04-2008, 12:26 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO