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  1. #1
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Default How friendly are you?

    How friendly are you? If you aren't as friendly as you or others might like, why do you think that is?

    When does friendliness and agreeableness become disingenuous or just too much?


    I think I make a decent effort to be friendly, but if I can't sense some kind of connection with someone on some level, I often find it disingenuous and insincere to try and force one, and I often just have no real motivation to do it.

    If I'm in the same situation as someone or we are both doing something together actively, it's a lot easier.

    friendliness
    noun
    1. a feeling of liking for another person; enjoyment in their company [ant: unfriendliness]

    insincere
    –adjective
    not sincere; not honest in the expression of actual feeling; hypocritical.

    disingenuous
    adjective
    not straightforward or candid; giving a false appearance of frankness; "an ambitious, disingenuous, philistine, and hypocritical operator, who...exemplified...the most disagreeable traits of his time"- David Cannadine; "a disingenuous excuse" [ant: artless]

  2. #2
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    Yeah I agree if I feel like I'm bound to someone by circumstance and I'm not thoroughly opposed to them I will be pretty nice. I think I'm always sincere, and strive not to be anything other than that, thats why I never try or believe in actively putting myself out there. I guess the worst you could say is I have a tendency to be withdrawn and somewhat removed in some interactions but its more likely a lack of comfort rather than ulterior motives. I think people sense the sincerity and lack of ill will in me even despite my demeanor and I sort of hope people see it that way.

    I don't think I sort of place judgments or try to come across as nice though, I just genuinely try and be me and sort of stay in a default detached mode and warm up to people based on their emotional state( I can sense ingenuity pretty well) I don't exactly mirror but I adjust my effort level a bit.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    If someone smiles at me, I'll smile back (unless it's the dodgy, leering kind), if someone speaks to me, I'm polite, unless the person is looking for trouble. I don't go out of my way to have contact with people really, so in that way I'm probably not friendly.

    I enjoy people that are genuinely warm and friendly and sort of all over you in a nice way, without making you feel uncomfortable, they fascinate me actually, because I don't have that.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    How friendly are you?
    AS HELL.

    Really though, I certainly can be. There are situations in which I'm not friendly, namely if the following conditions are met: 1. Someone's being a shithead; 2. It doesn't seem to be to my disadvantage to be unfriendly (Such that Mr. Shithead is 300 pounds of ripped muscle, and drunk).

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    I don't think I sort of place judgments or try to come across as nice though, I just genuinely try and be me and sort of stay in a default detached mode and warm up to people based on their emotional state( I can sense ingenuity pretty well) I don't exactly mirror but I adjust my effort level a bit.
    Yeah I usually enjoy a level of detachment too, but we get thought of as aloof for it, which in turn is associated with arrogance and sometimes even fakeness.

    On the other hand, a friend of mine said I was the most "versatile" one in our group of friends, as far as being able to hang out individually with, and in a way adapt to, everyone.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    Yeah I always feel that way like I can just talk about whatever and deal with a lot of different personalities. I don't necessarily think theres someone who is decent that I can't chill with. I just don't always have a need to pursue that.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  7. #7
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    I'm almost always polite, but otherwise just pretty neutral. In the right situations, I can be very friendly, but most people are neutral towards me as well so most of the time we all just go about our ways without being too mean or too nice. I'm probably only more than neutral with about 1 in 5 strangers, and this depends on many different factors.

    If I don't know somebody, but know that I'll be working with them or spending more time with time, then I'm a lot more friendly. For example, meeting a friend's friend who I'll be hanging out with for the rest of the night. I will extend myself and make new friends if it seems right, but it's never something I think about in my day to day life. It just happens.
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  8. #8
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    I'm not friendly at all, except with particular people I got to appreciate.

    I also dislike people who are too friendly.

  9. #9
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    I'm pretty darn friendly but I'm not necessarily always sincere in the sense I may not care about what the other person is telling me and don't enjoy shallow small talk, but I do it anyway and will act interested out of respect and cause it's expected :rolli:

  10. #10
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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