How friendly are you?

[sakuraba]

I get flirtatious, but never friendly. Oddly, I am usually cool with everyone.

I do not even like hugging or shaking hands.

 

[INTJMom]

How friendly are you? If you aren't as friendly as you or others might like, why do you think that is?

When does friendliness and agreeableness become disingenuous or just too much?


I think I make a decent effort to be friendly, but if I can't sense some kind of connection with someone on some level, I often find it disingenuous and insincere to try and force one, and I often just have no real motivation to do it.

If I'm in the same situation as someone or we are both doing something together actively, it's a lot easier.

friendliness
noun
1. a feeling of liking for another person; enjoyment in their company [ant: unfriendliness]

insincere
–adjective
not sincere; not honest in the expression of actual feeling; hypocritical.

disingenuous
adjective
not straightforward or candid; giving a false appearance of frankness; "an ambitious, disingenuous, philistine, and hypocritical operator, who...exemplified...the most disagreeable traits of his time"- David Cannadine; "a disingenuous excuse" [ant: artless]

I have always been very friendly.
And for the most part I have always acted according to my feelings,
iow, if I don't feel friendly toward you, I'm not going to pretend I do,
so I don't remember ever feeling disingenuous.

Being friendly is something I do because I know what it feels like to be an outcast.
I also know what it feels like to feel alone.
Consequently, I am more likely to befriend someone who is alone and has no friends,
than someone who already has friends.
But that's probably weird for an INTJ.

 

[Condor]

Not friendly at all, but I don't make it an issue if someone starts a conversation with me. There's only one person I'm interested enough in to care about what they have to say. She's my wife. Who else would I need?

 

[kyuuei]

Extremely.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Hm, me personally I am being very friendly, even to People I just go to know (unless they have some "weird Aura" around themselves). If People are polite, I will stay nice; if they get all bitchy and whatever else, I will stop pretty "soon" with being nice. At least as long as they behave like that.

I guess a few Times me being nice also "scared People away", because they did mistake it with something else. But even if I am an INTJ and should be more of an Ass or so, I can't exactly fight my Genes sometimes. We Italians just tend to be all kind-hearted (unless you screw it up with us )

 

[kaboom]

Not very?
I often realize much later that someone was trying to be friendly with me, and I totally ignored them or wasn't so nice.
I have to purposely remember to ask others how they are in response to asking how I am.
Other people do seem to like my humor and that is the only thing that helps to give me a friendly seeming appearance.

I have to say not being friendly is following who I am for the most part. It isn't personal to anyone ...but I am extra unfriendly when confronted with morons and generally incompetent people.

 

[Kora]

I'm not unfriendly (until I find lack of intelligence/excess of jerkness). But I'm also too shy and reserved when I don't know very well someone (or very deffensive if that person intimidates me), so people just think that I don't like them or I'm not interested.

 

[01011010]

I guess I'm not very friendly since I don't genuinely like most people I have to talk to on a daily basis. I don't dislike them either. I'm rather neutral. Yet, I do try and be polite when it's in my favor to do so.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I guess I'm not very friendly since I don't genuinely like most people I have to talk to on a daily basis. I don't dislike them either. I'm rather neutral. Yet, I do try and be polite when it's in my favor to do so.

Exactly the same.