Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
This was really freeing advice for me, Grayscale. Thank you. I've been applying it to my life for the past few days, and it's been a tremendous help. I didn't realize how much of my anxiety was coming from nowhere justifiable. When I started to ask myself, "What reason is there for this feeling?" more often than not I did find no basis. To me it was liberating to start asking for proof from myself for my feelings of anxiety. Thank you, really.
my pleasure emotions are only necessarily legitimate in the sense that they exist and most all of us experience them. i know some might disagree, but past that consideration, i think it is better to concede to logic. logic and the ability to discern it can be quite a bastion.

Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
I'd like you to elaborate a bit more on what it means to assign a personal value to the different attributes of yourself. How do you go about not assigning a personal value to them?

Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
So does recognizing the good qualities you have keep you from agonizing over your bad qualities?
why are some qualities "good", why are some "bad"? that is assigning a personal value when they are just what they are.

Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
And how is having an overall positive opinion of yourself different from taking the "emotional approach"?

I outrightly feel repelled by any attempts I make to force myself to adopt a positive opinion of myself when I don't see any justification. I can't do it.

I can understand the need to like yourself for you, but I don't know how to do that. What attitude are you taking toward yourself that allows you to like yourself overall? What justification can you use? The fact that you're neither perfect nor a disaster? That's a pretty good start. It means any violent and extreme feelings of shame or self-reproach are inaccurate and inapplicable.
logic will say that you experience emotions, but emotions are just that... something you experience, not a method for making decisions. i should have been more specific... i am not suggesting you act like a robot or pretend you have no emotions. the two can co-exist, think of a parent-child relationship. once you have conceded logic and emotion into these respective positions, you have to determine what "rules" the child has to follow when they play. what you did earlier is a good start. to apply the analogy to your problem, you're letting your emotions throw an irrational fit and it's making you unhappy, and it's time your parent (logic) steps in.

when it comes to emotions, i think it is better to form your opinion on yourself as a whole rather than your parts, which are always going to change. idealism is a powerful tool... but you are talking about applying it on a micro scale. develop an appreciation for attributes of your existence as a whole and you will have a lasting positive opinion of yourself and youre life.

it is hard to tell you what this will be exactly, because its different for everyone. for me, i like to think about how everything happens with symphonic complexity, and that i am a part of that (embodied, even). i think about the great (relatively speaking) things humans have done and the fact that i am human. i think about the planets and how small we all are, and yet how that is a challenge to be a bigger person. i think about time and history, and how everything that has happened happened... even though i wasnt there, i can still imagine it, and the things to come. for me, it is maintaining my balance and sense of harmony between my existence (ie, my state of mind and what i control) and the everything outside it.

love, appreciation, and positive thinking are skills... ^ this is just my approach. either way, a person has to develop them before they can love themselves and everything in their life.