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  1. #71
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENTJ Extraordinaire View Post
    this makes most sense in my mind, that we all have a genetic predisposition to be bisexual, just because we can find love to anyone [i think its very important to remember there is a VERY large difference between sexual attraction and LOVE]
    Love is definitely an ambiguous term, especially in western culture since many sorts of feelings get lumped into it. (The Greek had more terms, with more nuance, to describe various facets of love.)

    And yes, we can physically engage in sexual play with either physical gender.

    But it shouldn't be surprising that such a large segment of the population is het, due to the reproductive needs. There's definitely a large slant towards that...

    ... I really do not think all of sexual preference and "love" is nurture. Biology tends to transcend training in areas like that; you can be trained and pushed and yet the innate still surges out. It can only be suppressed.

    That being said, I think it's pretty clear that social and religious values greatly determine the ease of expression of certain preferences, and often if we attach sexual stigma to something, it seems to create more issues than fixes.

    *fact* - i have 5 sisters, and 1 brother.
    *fact* - i am straight...but not entirely :P theres room for variation at times
    *fact* - i believe that it was growing up around girls that has made me quite effeminate, and a Metrosexual.
    Meh. It can, to a degree, simply because more "effeminate" behaviors and mentalities will be picked up and you wouldn't have been exposed to as many "masculine" behaviors if you would have grown up in a largely male environment, but it doesn't really much change your internal preferences or where you might lean if the opportunities presented themselves.

    Funny, my one metrosexual friend also drives a jeep and enjoys doing overtly masculine things despite fully admitting his metrosexuality. As an INFP male, he is quite a mix.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #72
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i love all the open mindedness in this thread...and this site in general...did the op ever feel a sense of resolve or what?

  3. #73
    Senior Member ENTJ Extraordinaire's Avatar
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    *sigh* it definitely is very supportive, and great place to 'open-up' about these things

    not really sure if that is a good thing or not, considering the great number of randoms that just read these posts....

    *glares suspiciously at them all*
    Actualized type: ENTJ
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    ENTJ - "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population.

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  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    hey i have a gay question bc of all this prop 8 stuff in california.

    when a gay couple is raising their adopted child... do they teach them to be gay?

    bc if they teach them to be gay, aren't they saying its a choice? or at least, partially a choice?
    Think logically about the question you just asked.

    Most gay people are raised in hetero environments. They are taught being straight is what's normal and best. Despite the upbringing, they are still homosexual. In some cases it can be a choice, but most of the time it isn't. No one in their right mind would choose to be part of a group that's so discriminated against.

  5. #75
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Think logically about the question you just asked.

    Most gay people are raised in hetero environments. They are taught being straight is what's normal and best. Despite the upbringing, they are still homosexual. In some cases it can be a choice, but most of the time it isn't. No one in their right mind would choose to be part of a group that's so discriminated against.
    As far as I can tell, kids raised by gay parents have the same odds to be gay or straight as anyone else. But I haven't looked at the research recently. Interestingly, evangelical kids might be more opposed to abortion nowadays than they were, but age 30 and under are increasingly "okay" with gay marriage; even the straight kids are not really seeing what the big deal is, even if they're straight and would never want to be gay. (of course, that's what the conservatives are afraid of... hence, let's pass lots of laws NOW before their position falls completely out of favor.)

    And definitely, you're treated like a second-class citizen, like anyone else in similar situations. You wouldn't believe the cost that some people have had to pay because of their preferences or seemingly inherent feelings about themselves. (And of course, overseas in some places like Iran, the penalty is death; hilariously, it's better in those countries legally to get a sex change than to be physically male and have sex with men.)

    No one in their right mind would pay them if they had a choice; for the feelings to persist enough to risking losing everything you have (relationships, family, job, whatever else) because otherwise you feel like a shadow of a person tells you how innate it all feels.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    As far as I can tell, kids raised by gay parents have the same odds to be gay or straight as anyone else. But I haven't looked at the research recently.

    And definitely, you're treated like a second-class citizen, like anyone else in similar situations. You wouldn't the cost that some people have had to pay because of their preferences or seemingly inherent feelings about themselves.

    No one in their right mind would pay them if they had a choice; for the feelings to persist enough to risking losing everything you have (relationships, family, job, whatever else) because otherwise you feel like a shadow of a person tells you how innate it all feels.
    Exactly

  7. #77
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    01011010 I saw your post before you changed it. You may not want to talk about it more but I'm definitely sorry to hear that. Sometimes life is just not fair..

  8. #78
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^^ agreed...you may feel more comfortable admitting your preference if you're taught you have a choice but no one can teach you to be straight or gay...imo.

  9. #79
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    As far as I can tell, kids raised by gay parents have the same odds to be gay or straight as anyone else.
    I read a lit review that summarized all studies done on lesbian parents and children. They matched these children with children of heterosexual families based on demographic factors (income, race, etc.) and found relatively little difference between the two. It seemed that sons of lesbian parents actually did better in school, had less trouble with emotions (emotional intelligence), etc.

    The one major detriment to children of lesbian parents was that they often received criticism/felt rejected by their peers because of their parents sexual orientation. The majority of the children of lesbian couples identified as heterosexual as well.

    I thought it was all interesting. Very little research has been done on children of gay men. =( I think it had something to do with lesbian couples having biological children while gay men have to rely on adoption.

    Edit: I just remembered that they looked for households with two WOMEN serving as parents; they didn't ask the parents if they were strictly lesbian, bisexual, or even sisters (hopefully in a non-sexual relationship, lol) who were raising a child together.
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