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  1. #31
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    I just feel like guys are egocentric (wow I'm stereotyping....yay) or should i say "more prone to be egocentric" than women are. I think the moment I tell a guy I'm gay they instantly think I have some raging crush on them (which is generally never the case with guys that I think of as friends.) This is usually only with people who identify as straight or are hiding their sexuality...
    Quite a hoot, isn't it?

    As if the fact you are gay means you would want to have sex with any male who walked by you on the street.

    You have to be careful with the male sex identity/ego thing, I think. I don't know how much is ingrained in adolescence, but definitely boys go through the stage of being terrified at being thought gay in a way I do not think girls do.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  2. #32
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Quite a hoot, isn't it?

    As if the fact you are gay means you would want to have sex with any male who walked by you on the street.

    You have to be careful with the male sex identity/ego thing, I think. I don't know how much is ingrained in adolescence, but definitely boys go through the stage of being terrified at being thought gay in a way I do not think girls do.
    Haha! Ever noticed how often men go around in 3s?

  3. #33
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Haha! Ever noticed how often men go around in 3s?
    ha ha, you mean, no "double buddy system" just to avoid the insinuation?

    Actually, i see lots of guys walk around in two's on the streets here in Hburg on weekend nights...

    ....and...

    ....LOL...

    now that we're discussing it, I actually DO ask myself if they are gay and watch them for a minute to see if I can figure it out.

    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #34
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Quite a hoot, isn't it?

    As if the fact you are gay means you would want to have sex with any male who walked by you on the street.

    You have to be careful with the male sex identity/ego thing, I think. I don't know how much is ingrained in adolescence, but definitely boys go through the stage of being terrified at being thought gay in a way I do not think girls do.
    Someone really needs to figure out why this is. There is definitely a societal factor...but I'm not even sure how it got there in the first place.

    On a slightly different note yet still somewhat on topic: do you remember the whole "girls are icky" stage boys go through? Do many boys even go through this? I remember always enjoying being around girls when I was little...I wouldn't say moreso than boys back then, but they were definitely on an even playing field with me.

    I guess my point is that I don't see how it is conditioned in a man to fear being called a homosexual even though a boy's basic behavior to me, constitutes as gay. Most straight guys that I know prefer to hang out with males, create deeper emotional bonds with males, and feel most comfortable with physical contact (not sexual per say) with another male.
    Yet most will explode with even the smallest implication that someone thinks they are not 100% straight.

    I will admit though that some guys are more comfortable about their sexuality than others. The only guys I will ever consider to be "straight" will be ones who can do all the aforementioned things like creating emotional bonds with a male or touching them physically (or choosing not to do these) without having some emotional reaction whenever the topic is mentioned.

    Hmm, I guess sexuality is something guys just struggle with as a whole more than women? What do you think?

  5. #35
    Senior Member ENTJ Extraordinaire's Avatar
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    of course men stuggle with it more, coz socially i don't think 'gayness' is as appropriate as 'lesbians' if you know what i mean.

    *sigh* its a rather difficult subject to grasp, but i think it comes from the social 'rights and responsibilities' that are supposedly set in stone in our emotional make up.

    my belief for men is that they are meant to be 'masculine', and so society frowns upon gays. [of course this argument only goes as far as 'queens' - the stereotypical feminine gay man, you know, the one with the tight jeans and feather boa, that only just classifies as male ]

    and i couldn't agree more, the only people i will ever think of as straight are those that are capable of creating emotional bonds with males, and being able to touch them physically. because if that happens, and you think, 'omg gay contact'...well then, you are gay...coz you think like a gay man

    as for being 100% straight...is there such a thing? *sigh* i guess as a metro, i am slightly biased, but assuming i am normal (lol...not likely) then i can't say i have never found myself attracted to males without lying. i have had a few gay crushes. however, i have never actually acted on the impulse, and i have always been completely open and honest with the person. and in the end, i think all of those feelings have been emotional, rather than physical. i have never been 'physically' attracted to another guy. but i have found myself 'loving' another male before. i guess this is why i tend to not identify myself as straight/gay/bi/curious/etc. sexuality is confusing at the best of times. it's understandable that people struggle with it.

    my moto...don't label yourself, just go with the flow, and do what FEELS right [oh the irony of being a T]
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  6. #36
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENTJ Extraordinaire View Post
    my moto...don't label yourself, just go with the flow, and do what FEELS right [oh the irony of being a T]
    You're actin' like a P! :steam:

    But you make many valid points...I know its stupid to think of things as black or white...even thinking in percentages clouds the mind. We are all just people and who we find ourselves attracted to emotionally and physically is a minor detail in who we are as people.

  7. #37
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    I have a gay friend who is one of the closest friends I've ever had. I keep his secrets secret and he does the same with mine. We can be ourselves with each other and not pretty anything up. He's hysterically funny and we've travelled together on a number of occasions and he's so low maintenance--it's wonderful!

  8. #38
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Hmm. I'll start with the on topic part. (I am male, and straight.)

    For your actual question, from what I've seen, that's exactly correct. Also, maybe you are bi, or just have some curiosities in that area. Based on some previous threads here, there are certainly a decent number of straight guys that have had a few thoughts towards their own sex.

    Now then, speaking for myself on some of the topics mentioned here:

    I don't really care if someone is gay or straight. If they act relatively normally, I can certainly be friends with them. The problem I have.....is when gay guys decide to go the flamboyant direction and have that certain voice, and then have a problem with me not treating them like normal guys. I don't go around screaming "I'm straight!", why do you need to go around screaming "I'm Gay!"..? (Not necessarily directed at you.). I really don't care what your preferences are, stop making it that big of a deal.

    Being involved with the technical side of theater productions (I build sets, and do lighting work), means that I'm in contact with a lot of gay people. (Actors and designers/directors mostly.). The majority of them are normal, and I can get along with, and not annoying. A few....give the rest a bad name to some.
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  9. #39
    Senior Member ENTJ Extraordinaire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    Hmm. I'll start with the on topic part. (I am male, and straight.)

    For your actual question, from what I've seen, that's exactly correct. Also, maybe you are bi, or just have some curiosities in that area. Based on some previous threads here, there are certainly a decent number of straight guys that have had a few thoughts towards their own sex.

    Now then, speaking for myself on some of the topics mentioned here:

    I don't really care if someone is gay or straight. If they act relatively normally, I can certainly be friends with them. The problem I have.....is when gay guys decide to go the flamboyant direction and have that certain voice, and then have a problem with me not treating them like normal guys. I don't go around screaming "I'm straight!", why do you need to go around screaming "I'm Gay!"..? (Not necessarily directed at you.). I really don't care what your preferences are, stop making it that big of a deal.

    Being involved with the technical side of theater productions (I build sets, and do lighting work), means that I'm in contact with a lot of gay people. (Actors and designers/directors mostly.). The majority of them are normal, and I can get along with, and not annoying. A few....give the rest a bad name to some.
    wow, i couldn't agree more with you. i cannot stand flamboyant gays. (have heaps of gay friends, and i will happily flirt with anyone...male, or female. however flamboyant gays are just so overbearing and showy, i feel so out of place and i guess a little 'showed-up' around them

    *sigh* interesting as this has recently come up at work. we have one gay guy who is EXTREMELY!!!!!! gay. he thinks that coz he is gay, he can do whatever he wants. and that women are instantly his best friends. my close work friend (a girl) can't stand him...and i am trying to work out why not...*sigh* gay man is a womans best friend...perhaps...but i beg to differ. i think its the Metro's (such as myself) the ones they can go shopping with, without being so annoyingly flamboyant. *sigh* at the same time, then there is the added confusion of, 'ok, i am shopping with this guy...but he is straight...is he thinking of me?' easy answer is hell yea! [lol...you will be happy to know i only usually go shopping with my girlfriend these days :P have to be a bit more reserved now! :P]

    perhaps you are bi...perhaps you are not...as i have said...DON'T LABEL YOURSELF. just do what feels right!

    in the end, its your choice as to what you do, a label is only for everyone elses convenience, all that matters is that you know what you are, what you are capable of, and what you WANT!
    Actualized type: ENTJ
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    ENTJ - "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population.

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  10. #40
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    hey i have a gay question bc of all this prop 8 stuff in california.

    when a gay couple is raising their adopted child... do they teach them to be gay?

    bc if they teach them to be gay, aren't they saying its a choice? or at least, partially a choice?

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