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  1. #11
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    well...sounds to me like you're an open minded guy who prefers guys...
    some might call that bi...but i'm not sure i do
    some people like me...are either attracted to someone mentally or physically...and sometimes but not usually... both
    so...maybe...you find that you are capable of being mentally attracted to girls...but not instantly like guys

    it's up to you to figure out if you need both or can one follow the other

    does that make any sense?
    Yeah, I understand what you're saying . Although, I don't think I really feel comfortable with that mode of identity. For some reason though I'm forcing myself to consider the possibility of it. Bleh. Maybe I'm just confusing a connection emotionally I could have with some women because we click as people in general. And confusing it because of some insecurity relating to my identity (I seem to have a lot of those.) Because it doesn't seem to be connected with sex a lot of the time in the same way, but with personality a lot of the time too.

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    which...gay or bi?
    do you feel like you want to be straight?

    if you have that reaction to guys...you're gay...no question...
    i barely have that reaction ever...so count yourself lucky

    and nothin wrong with being open minded...i think it's cool...but don't be just because you think you have to be...for whatever reason.

  3. #13
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    which...gay or bi?
    do you feel like you want to be straight?

    if you have that reaction to guys...you're gay...no question...
    i barely have that reaction ever...so count yourself lucky

    and nothin wrong with being open minded...i think it's cool...but don't be just because you think you have to be...for whatever reason.
    Yeah, my mind has a tendency to force itself into positions that might not be the most comfortable to see if it can find some latent or hidden thing of significance. Needless to say, this aspect has lead to some extremely painful experiences in my mindscape. The heartthrob in question, where I feel I just want to melt in the arms of the other person, has never happened with girls. Only guys, and with guys it's very intense and certain. So this might be a thing more along the lines of what I talked about in the first couple sentences of this post. Just a mind that feels like it has to consider everything seriously. Might this be an ENTP thing that just seems to have manifested in me? >_>

  4. #14
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Alright here's my little pet theory of why gay men and women click up.

    I think that in the process of a man discovering he's gay it tends to open him up towards his feelings more. It's hard for men (moreso than women) to admit to themselves they're attracted to other men and for most guys it's an incredible journey inward. That kind of discovery process makes him more agreeable to delving into his emotions than your average straight guy. Once that whole world of emotion is opened up to you, I think it adds another dimension to how you view yourself and others. It's like being able to distinguish between the various shades of a color. I mean you can say it's red or you can be more specific and say it's scarlet or it's candy apple red or it's ruby. I don't think you can help but discuss that kind of nuance once you've been made aware that it exists.

    Generally, women are already aware of those different shades of red and he's a guy who now sees those different shades. I think some gay guys feel more comfortable discussing those nuances now that the now about them with other people who see them. Same thing with "sensitive" straight men.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  5. #15
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    A dog is a man's best friend and a gay man is a woman's best friend.
    Yeah, now that you mention it, it is stereotypical that a woman has a gay man as a best friend. I wonder why .

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    but...did i miss something? do you care why girls are friends with gay guys or why you sometimes think you might be able to have a straight relationship with one even though you're gay?
    i have a lot of gay friends of both sexes...and many of them have hit on me at some point...haha....but...it's just attraction to people who you connect with

    don't fight it dude...you'll be miserable...and break someones heart in the process.

  7. #17
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    I think there are very few truly straight or gay individuals. I agree that your preference may be extremely high to same sex or opposite, but I wonder if biological reasons don't have some sort of hold regardless. I know gay guys that have had sex with women on occasion and lesbians that have had sex with men.

    It doesn't change your identification or your preference. I think human connection is just that, and there's nothing abnormal about wanting to get close to someone you have an emotional connection to. It won't change what your attracted to most of the time.

  8. #18
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    I am a gay man in a long-term relationship with an ENTP, so maybe I can help shed some light on your situation.

    Remember that ENTPs have Extraverted Feeling (Fe) as their tertiary function. This function is somewhat childlike in most people, and tends to flip between being over- or under-inflated, with no middle ground. For this reason, ENTPs tend to broadcast their moods and feeling-states to the outside world, both positive and negative, and their moods are quite vulnerable to influences from the external world and other people.

    The positive ENTP-type projection can be very energising for other people, and I have noticed that a lot of feeling-type women find this attractive or compelling in a guy - my partner constantly "collects" NF-type women, who often become great friends (usually ENFPs or INFPs), but there is never any intention (on his part) of a sexual relationship.

    I also have many female close friends, and the emotions and love I feel for them can be extraordinarily powerful, but are distinctly different from the way I feel about men I am attracted to. I suppose I am lucky in that sense to be a Feeling type, as we find it easier to notice and judge the fine distinctions between our different emotional states.

    Hope this helps!
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  9. #19
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    The gender that you have the physical desire to have sex with (whether an emotional connection exists or not) is what determines your sexuality.

  10. #20
    Senior Member ENTJ Extraordinaire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    when you say sexual, is it about becoming intimate emotionally, or is there a purely sexual physical component to it?

    It is very weird, I've never quite understood it. I can get gushy on my gfs and it's almost like this deep passionate attraction, I just "love them" to death... but sex is nowhere really on my mind, it's like the deepest intimate attachment (even crush intensity, maybe) without the sex.
    *sigh* this applies for any relationship. beyond anything its nice to have a level of "we could do this...but we won't...because we have enough control"

    i know it sounds like a very ENTJ thing to say, but hey...isn't it true? isn't it a nice thought that there could be the ALLURE of sex...the possibility, and then to have the option to do it or not.

    fact of the matter is, no matter who you are, or what sort of relationship you are in, both parties can please each other, and its not even a choice of whether you want to or not, but of actually doing it!

    [dreadfully sorry if this makes no sense...i am so out of it and tired...i have no idea whats going on in my mind!]
    Actualized type: ENTJ
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    ENTJ - "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population.

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