Pulp Fiction Breakfast Scene
Right, so SLJ, who will be called Mac from henceforth, comes in the room along with Travolta, who is Edahn.
Mac: Hey guys, no, don't get up, just keep chillin'. Put your feet up. Yeah, just like that. Well now, this is nice. We're here from the MBTIc admin team. You do remember posting on the forums, don't you?
BlueWing (guy at table): Um, yeah
Mac: Well, let me guess now... which one is BlueWing? You?
Mac: I thought so. Now, we've been having some problems because of your kind comin' in and ranting on with all this existential angst bullshit, and now you've stolen something belonging to Ivy - now why would you wanna do that?
BW: Because... I had to
Mac: I bet you did. We all just do what we have to, ain't that right? Now tell me, do you know who I am?
BW: Uh, MacGuffin?
Mac: I'm MacGuffin. Right. You knew that all along and you didn't even offer me any refreshment as a guest in your house.
BW: Uh, I'm sorry, I...
Mac: You know what? That was so rude, I'm just gonna help myself here, you greasy motherfucker.
BW: I'm sorry, you threw me, you don't usually say so much in one go
Mac: It's an image thing. (takes bite of burger) Mm, that is one tasty burger. Just like my grandma used to make. Now she was a God fearing woman. You know my grandma?
Travolta: Mac, everyone knows your grandma, she's a slut
Mac: You have to excuse my friend Edahn, he has authority issues.
BW: Listen, I don't know what this is about
Mac: Oh, you don't? Well, I'll be damned. All that work you make for me and you don't even have any idea why somebody be pissed with you. Amazing. Gimme some of that drink.
BW: Sure... uh, go ahead
Mac: (drinks, then looks at guy on sofa) You over there, you'd be - now who'd you be?
Marvin: that's Athenian, it was her idea!
Mac: I don't remember asking your ass, Wolf.
Sofadude: it wasn't me, BW put it in the closet over there
Travolta looks in closets
BW: Oh my god this is so embarrassing
Travolta: Jesus guys, what did you steal??
(incredulous looks all round)
Travolta: opens case, stares in confusion while Mac calls out guesses as to what's in there
Mac: Well what's in there?
Travolta: Ivy's underwear
BW: Listen guys, you gotta believe me, we were gonna give it back as soon as we'd finished with it, but we needed to conduct an empirical experiment as to the [insert typical BW-esque thread title], but then Athenian started running around with it on her head [stands up, gets told to sit down, sits down] and then she slipped over and landed with the broomhandle right up her -
[Mac shoots sofadude]
Mac: I'm sorry, I had to do that. That motherfucker had a miserable life, she never woulda got laid anyway. [BW panic face] You see? See where this perversion leads? First it's atheism, then stealing respectable ladies' panties, it's a slippery slope. Now tell me all about ethical materialisms
Mac: You heard me motherfucker, philosophize!
[rapid fire interrogation, philosophy exam type questions which degenerates into the rant I posted earlier to replace the Bible passage lines]
MacG-have you any idea how annoying it is to have to moderate with people like you around? I have to sit and read through all your fucking lame, boring, same old shit amateur existential bullshit - have you any idea of the hours of my life I'll never get back again, hours I could've spent nestled between the ample bosom of Lookin4thebestNU and PinkPiranha!
BANG BANG BANG!