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  1. #71

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    The will to love themselves as-is, you mean?
    Yes.

    I think I would start by purposefully thinking of one nice thing about the appearance of each complete stranger I pass in everyday life. It can be easier to generate that goodwill for others first, and then it sort of leaks into our self-concept. Even so, it's not that easy. We've gotten to a place where body-snark and picking at other human beings is commonplace and the norm. And we do it to ourselves worst of all.
    You're right. In other words, you believe everyone has the ability to reach deep into their core to love and be loved?

  2. #72
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    Yes.


    You're right. In other words, you believe everyone has the ability to reach deep into their core to love and be loved?
    Sure I do. Why wouldn't they?

  3. #73

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Sure I do. Why wouldn't they?
    Generally speaking, I believe people do have the ability. There are probably exceptions, which I could speculate at length about, but I won't veer the thread off course. <3

  4. #74
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    I don't think I could ever love myself fat. I'm curious, in what ways did being heavier make it easier to love yourself?
    It may just be personal preference. I do NOT want to be seen or referred to as skinny. It drives me crazy, and nothing puts me down faster about myself than people thinking they're genuinely being nice (and also being genuine) and calling me skinny. Because it's pretty objective that that's how I look to others.

    I've never had a strong craving to be super attractive or pretty, but I always found the most beautiful women to be bigger women.. Not obese, but thick and full bodied. The old school paintings of roman women, fake characters like Chung-Li and Lara Croft when I was a kid, celebrities like marilyn monroe which are still seen as so sexy.. they weren't skinny. None of them were. (despite what later renditions did to lara croft..) Full, thick legs, and muscles in the arms, they're attractive to me. Always have been. Skinny implies a boy-like appearance.. a lack of curves, and definition.. :/
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

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  5. #75

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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I've never had a strong craving to be super attractive or pretty, ...
    I would like to be pretty.

  6. #76

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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    It may just be personal preference. I do NOT want to be seen or referred to as skinny. It drives me crazy, and nothing puts me down faster about myself than people thinking they're genuinely being nice (and also being genuine) and calling me skinny. Because it's pretty objective that that's how I look to others.

    I've never had a strong craving to be super attractive or pretty, but I always found the most beautiful women to be bigger women.. Not obese, but thick and full bodied. The old school paintings of roman women, fake characters like Chung-Li and Lara Croft when I was a kid, celebrities like marilyn monroe which are still seen as so sexy.. they weren't skinny. None of them were. (despite what later renditions did to lara croft..) Full, thick legs, and muscles in the arms, they're attractive to me. Always have been. Skinny implies a boy-like appearance.. a lack of curves, and definition.. :/
    Skinny holds a very different connotation to me. If skinny means boyish figure to you, then I can see why you have an aversion to the word. Like you, I would prefer my figure look more like Marilyn Monroe's than Justin Bieber's. :)

    Despite what people say (because we can't please everyone), at some point we recognize who we really are and whether we are where we should be. No matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day. Keep striving to improve yourself and challenge yourself to go the extra mile in your physical activities. I have warm admiration for you and your endeavors. You are well equipped to succeed. That goes for @Ivy and @INTJMom too!
    Likes Ivy liked this post

  7. #77
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I would like to be pretty.
    When I grew my hair long, I felt pretty and masculine but I realised what a lot of work there was in keeping my hair long and looking good. So I settled on a short back and sides for practical reasons.

    I found the best way to wash my long hair was to take a bath with my girlfriend where we washed each others hair, but it was delightful but time consuming.

    But I am grateful the fashion allowed me to experience long hair, so I knew what women went through to keep their long hair looking silky and beautiful every day.
    Likes wolfy liked this post

  8. #78
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I would like to be pretty.
    You are pretty.... Pretty beefy!



    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    Skinny holds a very different connotation to me. If skinny means boyish figure to you, then I can see why you have an aversion to the word. Like you, I would prefer my figure look more like Marilyn Monroe's than Justin Bieber's.

    Despite what people say (because we can't please everyone), at some point we recognize who we really are and whether we are where we should be. No matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day. Keep striving to improve yourself and challenge yourself to go the extra mile in your physical activities. I have warm admiration for you and your endeavors. You are well equipped to succeed...
    Oh yeah, skinny is definitely just negative all around in my book. I'd prefer 'fit' or 'toned' or 'in shape' any day of the week. But I know it's a very personal thing I feel strongly about.. most people are thankful to be called that that I meet. Most find me weird for it.

    Thank you my dear! I hope to be super awesome for years and years to come. Whatever I end up doing, being in shape and having health in many aspects of my life is important to me.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge
    Likes LonestarCowgirl, wolfy liked this post

  9. #79
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skinny-Love View Post
    Oh, yes, good advice! Something else to consider is have your last meal of the day no less than 3-hours before bedtime. You may have already heard varying opinions about this, but if you've reached a plateau in your weight loss, it's worth trying. I have done it for years to maintain and it works out well for me.

    The key to curbing the appetite and losing weight is to get moving! Instead of hiring people, do the yardwork, housework, and walk the cart back to the store after shopping. Look for opportunities to burn calories.
    Yeah... I heard it wasn't good to eat food too close to bedtime. It's OK?

  10. #80
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I'm sure I don't know.. I don't remember her being obese anyways..
    Well, actually, according to medical charts, I AM obese!
    I'm 5'1", 56 years old and I don't own a scale but I think I weigh about 160 lbs.
    I need to be about 140 pounds, which is still overweight, but the charts are unrealistic.
    That would make me a size 10 or 12 again.
    For the last 6 years I've been a size 14 but last year I had to buy size 16 jeans
    and a whole new wardrobe of XL tops because I outgrew my size L clothes.
    Losing weight is just too complicated of a science for me.
    I only have ever lost weight when I lost my appetite from grief.
    Otherwise my stomach growls like crazy.

    btw: I did my exercise program twice this week and I did my minimum 30 ab crunches every morning.

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