I can relate, intensely, to the whole thing about living in one's own little world - I certainly do and always have.
- - As to the bold however - shit, that's terrifying. What can you do to fix it? Besides be another type? Or trigger the shit out of a basic fear and try to avoid all people?
- - Sorry, but this is absurd. I don't want to be controlled because I don't want to be hurt. Simple as that.
I'll answer the second part first, as it caught my attention more than the other did. That's pretty much what I'm getting at, though I put it in a little more poetic manner than perhaps some were expecting. I did try to be clear, though haha. I never said that thinking you're too good to be true is a bad thing. It's like thinking you're a precious cinnamon roll, knowing it, and knowing what will come if someone damages that. I have a friend who does this well. She knows she's good, but she likes that because it's, well... good. I mean good as in the collective, poetic, epicish noun here. Good, as the concept. I.e., the good in people or smth. She thinks she's fighting a war between good and evil, and it's all very intense. It's very interesting to watch, and what's interesting about her is because she's so quiet, you wouldn't know any of that. So it truly is a battle of good and evil - normally you can't see the two, as they're concepts.
If you knew you were a dove, would you try to exercise a bit of self-care or would you flaunt yourself for all the predators around? It's a bit like that.
Now to this:
ThaumaturgicTheorist said:
I can relate, intensely, to the whole thing about living in one's own little world - I certainly do and always have.
As to the bold however - shit, that's terrifying. What can you do to fix it? Besides be another type? Or trigger the shit out of a basic fear and try to avoid all people?
Ah, well, as I don't know what fear we're talking about I can't really tell you. I can easily see a type like the nine being flipped around so it isn't afraid of itself, because a nine is all fear if you get down to it. (Now that I think about it, I don't like Enneagram purely for the fact that it lays a person out by their fears and strings them up for all to see - all MBTI does is vague about it and make you interpret it, which is how actual fears are.)
I wouldn't avoid all people, because that seems absurd. Why do that? You're going to be miserable without people, even if you think you can live without their company. I say, if it's this particular fear where it's so deep and nearly
you, you have to turn it into a weapon. Let the connotations of that word be up to your discretion.
Well I keep my own secrets because I don't want to have anybody to have power over me, of course^^ Maybe trust issues as well, I dunno. I have a very curious mom with little respect for boundaries so of course I became a little more secretive than is probably healthy. I like my privacy^^
This I understand well, because my mom is the same way. Only, ironically I have a degree of nosiness to me so we buck heads often.
Funny thing is, once you established that baseline niceness, you can mock basically anyone without consequences because they'll think you're just joking.
Flip side is, nobody takes you seriously any more if you're dissatisfied and actually want to do something about it.
Well, I don't know if that's nice. That was what I was getting at really. If you're using niceness as a means to an end (and I mean in a traditional sense), then is it really nice? This I ask myself every day, but the conclusion I've come to is no haha
Why does me being projected on make me better at projecting myself?
I mean, not saying it can't be true, but I just don't see a relation there at the moment.
It's a bit of a contradiction, but hard to explain. Let's see, let me try this. I read some of your previous comments and chose to reply to this first, so let's use that blank canvas you mentioned. Is the canvas really blank? Or did someone use invisible ink to paint it? If so, then everyone around you will want to paint that canvas (ex. projecting on you, right) and once they do, they'll cover up the previously done work. But they can't change the fact that it was painted on. They just don't know it was, or can't fathom it could be. But you, as the canvas know who painted you - your friends, family, yourself perhaps - and you know your role well. It's to be a canvas. And canvases are meant for painting, however you've been painted on already, so what's there left to do? Are you a painting, a canvas - both?? You obviously swing to canvas, because you're curious about yourself even if you seem blank. At this point I'm tired of explaining the metaphor, so just look up the blank-flanks of MLP; the Cutie Mark Crusaders should serve you well.
If we knew we are so good, would we really have those insecurity issues?
I direct you to another painting metaphor, though it isn't related to the above. Regina Spektor,
her song "Rowboats", might explain this. There's a lot of meaning to the phrase - '
too good to be true.' ^^;
