User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 44

  1. #1
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,450

    Default Ones: Why is your anger "wrong"?

    This topic came to me when I was watching an episode of "Maron" on Netflix -- the main character was trying to get advice on how to hold in his angry outbursts, and I got to wondering how I would answer his question. And I realized that my answer to his question would probably be very different from other enneagram 1s' answers.

    So, my question for fellow 1s is: Why do you hold your anger in? Why is it "wrong" for you to do so? It's a basic component of being a 1, that you be ashamed of your anger, but what exactly is the principle behind it?

    Follow-up question: Presumably a big part of your answer to the above question would be "Because letting out my anger would be losing control, and I never lose control". If that is the case, where do you draw the anger line, between being in control of your anger and not being in control of your anger? How angry do you let yourself be, before it embarrasses you?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #2
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,450

    Default

    Responding to my own OP.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This topic came to me when I was watching an episode of "Maron" on Netflix -- the main character was trying to get advice on how to hold in his angry outbursts, and I got to wondering how I would answer his question. And I realized that my answer to his question would probably be very different from other enneagram 1s' answers.
    My answer to Marc's question would be:

    "I have no advice for you, Marc, because in order to be that prone towards angry outbursts, your desire to let your anger out has to be stronger than your desire to hold it in. And not only that, but there has to be a stronger emotional reason to hold it in, that can overwhelm your warped anger-logic. In my case, I only hold my anger in when the emotional reason to hold it in -- which, in my case, is shame -- wins. And it usually wins. I'm too much of a people-pleaser for the shame to not win."

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    So, my question for fellow 1s is: Why do you hold your anger in? Why is it "wrong" for you to do so? It's a basic component of being a 1, that you be ashamed of your anger, but what exactly is the principle behind it?
    Elaborating on what I just wrote in quotations: I can't stand awkwardness. And anger makes people awkward. I have no trouble with my anger when it's justified and when no one else has a problem with it. Though, I admit, I probably project a lot of awkwardness onto people who don't necessarily experience it.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Follow-up question: Presumably a big part of your answer to the above question would be "Because letting out my anger would be losing control, and I never lose control". If that is the case, where do you draw the anger line, between being in control of your anger and not being in control of your anger? How angry do you let yourself be, before it embarrasses you?
    Awkwardness is the main factor, which means it's situational. That being said, the subjective loss of control is a big part of it. Which is typically between levels 4 and 5 of my anger scale. (Yes, I have an anger scale.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Hard liked this post

  3. #3
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    Well, I guess I distrust any of my emotions when they are too fresh or strong. I don't mind speaking my mind once my feelings have settled a bit and I know if what is making me angry is something I can change and it's reasonable or not.

    It's also an energy conserving measure as strong emotions chew through a lot of my emotional reserves and require a lot of bandwidth.

    I also very easily put myself in other peoples' shoes. My own horror of intruding on people or being an imposition makes me vicariously feel what they might be feeling if I were on the receiving end, and it makes me reluctant to make them feel that way unless there is strong justification for it. I am more able to deal with annoyance which is within my control than their resulting reactions if I put it in their court.

    I think at this point in my life though I am much more able to address issues that trigger conflict than I once would have, but I still err on the side of saying less than more and I tend to overassume that people would react in the same way to my anger as I would to theirs.

    I truly don't enjoy feeling angry though. On the few Incredible Hulk anger moments I've felt, I found it disconcerting and unpleasant and could only relax after I figured out why I reacted so strongly to something that shouldn't have been that big a deal.

    Mostly my anger leaks out in bits of annoyance, some venting, andsome feelings of hurt rather than full blown rage.
    Likes EJCC, Hard, labyrinthine liked this post

  4. #4
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,990

    Default

    I also agree that the answer is going to differ slightly depending on who is answering them. I mean, we're all different despite the common threads between all 1's.


    1. Why do you hold your anger in?

    This might come as a surprise to some of you, but I instinctively hold my anger in all the time. I just have a lot of it, and a nasty habit of putting myself in areas that will raise it up. Honestly? It's instinctual, I hold back all of my emotions in some way, because if I didn't, I would be HELL to be around. I'd probably get into yelling matches several times a day if I didn't keep my anger in check (though there'd be days where it never comes up). The tiniest things can piss me off. Earlier, I got really pissed because the post-doc on my lab came in to my office room to ask me an inane question and was being his typical self with trying to cover every minutia. It's like, dude GO AWAY, you can do this on your own, figure it out. I honestly wanted to tell him to get lost and fuck off. Though people I regard as friends or I am close with and like never really set me off internally, which is part of the reason I like them.

    I really just get angry over all kinds of things, and I HAVE to keep them in because I see 95% of the time it's inane and unfair.


    2. Why is it "wrong" for you to do so? It's a basic component of being a 1, that you be ashamed of your anger, but what exactly is the principle behind it?

    It's wrong 95% of the time (more on the other 5% in a minute) because it's unjusitifed. I am not right in letting my anger out, and getting angry at something or someone is unfair. I feel it is my duty to keep it in. Further, much of the time expressing it doesn't do any good. It might feel good, but one most remember the practical end and the impact things have. Generally speaking it doesn't solve any problems, and all it does is tell people I am pissed, and most respond to it poorly.

    One area I differ from other 1's generally is I don't feel ashamed for feeling angry about stuff. At most I might think "yikes, I really shouldn't be mad about something like this. I should work on that". However, I WILL feel a LOT of shame and embarassment if expressing anger causes tangible problems AND I was in the wrong or fucked up badly. In those cases I'll hide with my tail between my legs for a long time. I sort of look at it like this: I don't feel guilty about having emotions. I mean, what purpose would that serve? Zero. Pointless stress. Because I can keep them in and in control, I don't feel I should feel guilty unless keeping it in fails.

    Then there is the 5% of the time where I don't feel it is wrong to keep anger in. This is when I see something that has an external justification of letting it out, I will readily. Which is kind of a problem , as I admit I like it when I can do that even though it causes long term harm internally. Largely because it lets me vent the anger and feelings cause I simply have too many. I also look at it like letting the anger out WILL solve problems, and honestly a lot of the time it does. At leas the immediate thing I am dealing with. Occasionally though, doing so causes problems and if it turns out I was wrong or just fucked up a lot. Then I promptly self-seclude to lick my wounds and yay spiraling to 4!


    3. Follow-up question: Presumably a big part of your answer to the above question would be "Because letting out my anger would be losing control, and I never lose control". If that is the case, where do you draw the anger line, between being in control of your anger and not being in control of your anger? How angry do you let yourself be, before it embarrasses you?

    In a round about way, yes it is about not losing control. I don't think about it that way though. It's more that if I didn't keep my anger and emotions in check I WOULD be out of control. To a certain extent I do hold a decent level of pride on being fair minded and making good judgement calls. Loosing control drops that level of faith others would hold and that REALLY blows to my ego a ton. I've never actually lost 100% control. Even in the cases where I completely exploded I was holding back 1/2 or more. I know what I am capable of and I just can't justify going that far for one reason or another, usually because the damage I would cause could never be undone. Generally, my sense of embarassment comes from doing stupid shit along the way, but unless it has been thoughourly proven that my reasons for being angry were wrong, I won't feel embarassed for feeling how I feel. In fact that is likely to fester indefinitely then lying in wait till it can come out (and it lasts for years and years). The actions though, that shit hurts.

    I guess the line for me goes back to the 95%-5% bit, and I seem to be a little to willing to risk the fall out potential from letting it out. Though it's been recently shown to me that that needs to stop for the sake of my well being so I am working on it (and it's annoying , but legit good for me).
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

    Likes EJCC liked this post

  5. #5
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    I identify with the last two responses of Hard's quite a bit. I don't feel ashamed of anger but I would if I went around dumping it on people willy nilly, especially if it served no purpose to do so.
    Likes Hard, EJCC liked this post

  6. #6
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,692

    Default

    Not an e1, just throwing in an aside:

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Follow-up question: Presumably a big part of your answer to the above question would be "Because letting out my anger would be losing control, and I never lose control". If that is the case, where do you draw the anger line, between being in control of your anger and not being in control of your anger? How angry do you let yourself be, before it embarrasses you?
    There's a difference between the anger as an emotion and the expression of anger.

    It's my understanding that e1's whole thing is that there's a focus almost exclusively on the expression of anger and not expressing it- without addressing the existence of the emotion. Is that an accurate understanding? As if, if the expression can be stifled, it's like 'getting rid' of the emotion. But that's only pushing it into the unconscious, where a person ultimately actually becomes a sort of puppet to it- there's a distinct loss of self-control that comes from trying to control expression without addressing the existence of the emotion. It comes out in other ways (eg. like being really critical of other people, having no patience for people who are even slightly different, etc).

    My only point here is that, in discussing "being in control of anger", it might be a good idea to distinguish between being in control of the emotion itself (which would be more like 'managing' than 'controlling') or being in control of the expression of it. Especially since that seems to be something e1s conflate (if my understanding is correct).
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari
    Likes EJCC, MDP2525, Hawthorne, fidelia liked this post

  7. #7
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,450

    Default

    ^ @Z Buck McFate Yep, your understanding is correct, and your post is on-point. I was referring to stifling the expression of anger.

    Interesting point about conflating the two. I think there is an e1 mindset of, "Having all this anger isn't an issue so long as no one sees it". And using "anger" as shorthand for "expressed anger" might be because having some level of anger at baseline is so normal for 1s that they don't really think about it.

    I'll need to reflect on this more...
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Z Buck McFate, Hard, Punderstorm liked this post

  8. #8
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,450

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    This might come as a surprise to some of you, but I instinctively hold my anger in all the time. I just have a lot of it, and a nasty habit of putting myself in areas that will raise it up. Honestly? It's instinctual, I hold back all of my emotions in some way, because if I didn't, I would be HELL to be around. I'd probably get into yelling matches several times a day if I didn't keep my anger in check (though there'd be days where it never comes up). The tiniest things can piss me off. Earlier, I got really pissed because the post-doc on my lab came in to my office room to ask me an inane question and was being his typical self with trying to cover every minutia. It's like, dude GO AWAY, you can do this on your own, figure it out. I honestly wanted to tell him to get lost and fuck off. Though people I regard as friends or I am close with and like never really set me off internally, which is part of the reason I like them.
    I mean this completely neutrally: The above reminds me a LOT of me in middle school. I don't have quite as many feelings now as I did then -- phrased another way, "I've leveled off since then" -- so I don't identify with it anymore. But it's familiar to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I really just get angry over all kinds of things, and I HAVE to keep them in because I see 95% of the time it's inane and unfair.
    ^ That resonates a LOT with me, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    2. Why is it "wrong" for you to do so? It's a basic component of being a 1, that you be ashamed of your anger, but what exactly is the principle behind it?

    It's wrong 95% of the time (more on the other 5% in a minute) because it's unjusitifed. I am not right in letting my anger out, and getting angry at something or someone is unfair. I feel it is my duty to keep it in. Further, much of the time expressing it doesn't do any good. It might feel good, but one most remember the practical end and the impact things have. Generally speaking it doesn't solve any problems, and all it does is tell people I am pissed, and most respond to it poorly.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I identify with the last two responses of Hard's quite a bit. I don't feel ashamed of anger but I would if I went around dumping it on people willy nilly, especially if it served no purpose to do so.
    Yes to all of this!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    One area I differ from other 1's generally is I don't feel ashamed for feeling angry about stuff. At most I might think "yikes, I really shouldn't be mad about something like this. I should work on that". However, I WILL feel a LOT of shame and embarassment if expressing anger causes tangible problems AND I was in the wrong or fucked up badly. In those cases I'll hide with my tail between my legs for a long time. I sort of look at it like this: I don't feel guilty about having emotions. I mean, what purpose would that serve? Zero. Pointless stress. Because I can keep them in and in control, I don't feel I should feel guilty unless keeping it in fails.
    Interesting. I agree with this most of the time, but I've definitely been ashamed of my emotions before. And shared that shame with the forum. Appropriately enough, I'm a little embarrassed about it now.

    Could be Fe vs. Te here. I get frustrated with my "illogical" tendencies very regularly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Then there is the 5% of the time where I don't feel it is wrong to keep anger in. This is when I see something that has an external justification of letting it out, I will readily. Which is kind of a problem , as I admit I like it when I can do that even though it causes long term harm internally. Largely because it lets me vent the anger and feelings cause I simply have too many. I also look at it like letting the anger out WILL solve problems, and honestly a lot of the time it does. At leas the immediate thing I am dealing with. Occasionally though, doing so causes problems and if it turns out I was wrong or just fucked up a lot. Then I promptly self-seclude to lick my wounds and yay spiraling to 4!
    I do this same thing, but I know from experience -- with interacting with you and from my own interactions with others -- that we have different standards for what kind of venting outlets are acceptable. In your case, people are so used to you being ranty, that people don't take it personally when you rage at/about things. It's just you being you. I think this differentiates you from most 1s, tbh, because most of us are either introverts, thinkers, or both -- meaning, what people are used to is a very subdued and restrained person, relatively speaking.

    This isn't to say that I don't rant a lot. Because I do. But I never, ever use debate as an anger outlet. I use storytelling as an anger outlet. I rant about the bad things that happened in my day, and I make those rants funny. So my audience is entertained, I feel better, and everyone wins!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Hard, Punderstorm liked this post

  9. #9
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,990

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I mean this completely neutrally: The above reminds me a LOT of me in middle school. I don't have quite as many feelings now as I did then -- phrased another way, "I've leveled off since then" -- so I don't identify with it anymore. But it's familiar to me.
    Not the least bit of offense taken . Honestly, I've recently learned a good chunk of my feelings is due to the fact that I'm bipolar (as the level to which I feel and how strongly I feel is not normal, apparently). Even if that is accounted for I still have a lot. I'm not sure if I'll ever level off since they're so linked to my motivation drive and understanding of the world. The best I can do is try to allow it in more measured doses, and in some paradoxical way allow myself to feel more. I think the ultimate goal for a lot of 1's is to not just control our feelings, but choose which ones even come to us in the first place, and it takes a looooong time to get to that sort of space. It's sort of what integrating to 7 is all about in a strange way.


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ^ That resonates a LOT with me, though.

    Yes to all of this!!
    yep. I think the most go-to method 1's use to control anger is to pause and say "ok, is this anger rational, and is it also justified?" and the answer is very often no to one or both of them. It's an exteranlization that gives us REASON to control it. Without that, it seems almost impossible to do. The problem comes in when 1's over-apply this rationalization to more emotions that shouldn't get it. Thus leading to the stifiling that is often seen, and is a big reasons why 1's seem uptight or under constant tension. Since it's so useful to contain anger, it gets overused.


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Interesting. I agree with this most of the time, but I've definitely been ashamed of my emotions before. And shared that shame with the forum. Appropriately enough, I'm a little embarrassed about it now.

    Could be Fe vs. Te here. I get frustrated with my "illogical" tendencies very regularly.
    When you made that thread one of my first reactions was "oh goodness this is kind of adorable!", but I also related to it significantly so I am one to talk. I've thought about it some, but if I am ashamed of my emotions I guard them A LOT. I sort of view innate bad feelings as a terrible reflection of myself. If they come naturally and I dissapprove of them, then what does that mean about me? It's lead to some naaaaasssty spiraling in the past, some even this past winter. I think it is an Fe/Te divide though to a large extent. If I have illogical feelings (read: illogical but not morally bad), I can sort of go "eh human nature, par for the course, just put it in a box". I could see for a Te user that simply won't be good enough. Morally bad though? Oh hello deep dark pit, excuse me while I fling myself into you.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I do this same thing, but I know from experience -- with interacting with you and from my own interactions with others -- that we have different standards for what kind of venting outlets are acceptable. In your case, people are so used to you being ranty, that people don't take it personally when you rage at/about things. It's just you being you. I think this differentiates you from most 1s, tbh, because most of us are either introverts, thinkers, or both -- meaning, what people are used to is a very subdued and restrained person, relatively speaking.

    This isn't to say that I don't rant a lot. Because I do. But I never, ever use debate as an anger outlet. I use storytelling as an anger outlet. I rant about the bad things that happened in my day, and I make those rants funny. So my audience is entertained, I feel better, and everyone wins!
    This makes quite a bit of sense, and I've never consciously thought about this before. It's sort of like when the quiet person in class suddenly start talking and says profound things. Everyone turns their head and stairs. It's not a normal thing and it garners attention. Thus if someone is even keeled and prides that image and puts it on, when they lose it it seems all the more unusual and people respond more strongly. Since I react to things so much in all kinds of ways, it's sort of forced me to come up with tons of different ways of expression so I can convey the correct feeling or intensity since it's "normal" for me to be dramatic.

    I rant a ton, but it never feels like enough because I am still suppressing the feeling (full on ranting is way too jarring for people- I've tried). It's cause I'm an Fe-dom (ranting and being dramatic is what we do). I suspect if there were ever an Fi-dom 1 it would be a parallel. I wouldn't say I use debate as an anger outlet though. It's more I run across someone who I see as wrong or evil and go into HULK SMASH EVIL mode since it pulls a double duty of venting the rage AND solving a problem (except when it doesn't). I'm not debating when I am also venting; I am bludgenoning someone with a club.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  10. #10
    also not a cat Snickie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    MBTI
    IsTP
    Enneagram
    954 sp
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    213

    Default

    Since I teeter somewhere on the edge of 9w1 and 1w9 as the second number in my tritype, I feel half-qualified to answer this post. Only half though. :P
    My thoughts are that inferior Fe and shadow Fi (which is stronger than my Fe but I don't value it much at all) are the motivators toward 1, but my lack of strong Te usage (not strong enough to properly balance out Fi) pushes me back toward 9? I'm not really sure. Anywho.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This topic came to me when I was watching an episode of "Maron" on Netflix -- the main character was trying to get advice on how to hold in his angry outbursts, and I got to wondering how I would answer his question. And I realized that my answer to his question would probably be very different from other enneagram 1s' answers.
    I don't have an answer for his question that's any better than the one you gave.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    So, my question for fellow 1s is: Why do you hold your anger in? Why is it "wrong" for you to do so? It's a basic component of being a 1, that you be ashamed of your anger, but what exactly is the principle behind it?
    Most of my anger is fuelled by shame toward myself. Therefore expressing it is wrong - why involve someone else in my own self-inflicted pain (unless they were somehow already involved to begin with)?




    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Follow-up question: Presumably a big part of your answer to the above question would be "Because letting out my anger would be losing control, and I never lose control". If that is the case, where do you draw the anger line, between being in control of your anger and not being in control of your anger? How angry do you let yourself be, before it embarrasses you?
    Going by your anger scale, let's just say this:
    Level 1: ok. Angry face can be excused as "resting bitch face" if anybody asks. (Anybody asking is almost guaranteed to send me to Level 2.)
    Level 2: ok. Formal language is nice anyway. Just don't stammer.
    Level 3: Uh-oh, I stammered. This is not ok - tone clearly indicates something is not ok and how dare something be not ok. Better exile myself. Do not approach.
    Level 4+: I'd better handwrite my apology letters in cursive and smudge them with my oh-so-regretful tears



    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    yep. I think the most go-to method 1's use to control anger is to pause and say "ok, is this anger rational, and is it also justified?" and the answer is very often no to one or both of them. It's an exteranlization that gives us REASON to control it. Without that, it seems almost impossible to do. The problem comes in when 1's over-apply this rationalization to more emotions that shouldn't get it. Thus leading to the stifiling that is often seen, and is a big reasons why 1's seem uptight or under constant tension. Since it's so useful to contain anger, it gets overused.
    So much this. But just because I've rationalized away my desire to express my anger doesn't mean I'm not still angry. Cue shame, you're on in 5... 4... 3... 2...

    IT'S NOT LOGICAL. NOT LOGICAL. WHY AM I STILL ANGRY. THIS ISN'T GOING TO FIX ANYTHING.
    Cue meta-anger - I'm angry at myself for being angry. Look, I know I said I liked spirals, but not this kind! The visual and staircase kinds!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    [...]if I am ashamed of my emotions I guard them A LOT. I sort of view innate bad feelings as a terrible reflection of myself. If they come naturally and I dissapprove of them, then what does that mean about me? It's lead to some naaaaasssty spiraling in the past, some even this past winter. I think it is an Fe/Te divide though to a large extent. If I have illogical feelings (read: illogical but not morally bad), I can sort of go "eh human nature, par for the course, just put it in a box". I could see for a Te user that simply won't be good enough. Morally bad though? Oh hello deep dark pit, excuse me while I fling myself into you.
    +1
    Is this what a Ti-Ni loop can feel like, with Fe grip rearing its ugly head? Or maybe shadow functions invasion force?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    This makes quite a bit of sense, and I've never consciously thought about this before. It's sort of like when the quiet person in class suddenly start talking and says profound things. Everyone turns their head and stairs. It's not a normal thing and it garners attention. Thus if someone is even keeled and prides that image and puts it on, when they lose it it seems all the more unusual and people respond more strongly.
    I relate to this on so many levels.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I rant a ton, but it never feels like enough because I am still suppressing the feeling (full on ranting is way too jarring for people- I've tried). It's cause I'm an Fe-dom (ranting and being dramatic is what we do).
    I'm inferior Fe and this applies to me if I write a rant but nobody else knows about it, especially if I throw it away or something. If I post/share it then I have an easier time releasing it. Thus a lot of my anger outlet is online. But I'm pretty good at watering it down as I go along, usually because I'm sorting through my thoughts and things start to make more sense.
    Talking about it, on the other hand. No. Probably because I'm a social introvert. Still. No. Doesn't work.
    Accidentally offensive

    MBTI: IxTP (Ti-dom, leaning on Ne-aux)
    Socionics: idek anymore. SLI, ILI, LII....
    Enneagram: 9w1 > 5b > 4w5 sp
    Alignment: Neutral (inching toward Lawful neutral)
    Temperament: Phlegmatic/Melancholic > Sanguine (online persona) > Choleric
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/25/258523.png
    Johari and Nohari

Similar Threads

  1. [Other] What is your favorite quote...
    By jck221 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 07-09-2014, 05:43 PM
  2. [MBTItm] Why is your bff/so your bff/so?
    By taylor.tate13 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-04-2014, 04:28 PM
  3. Replies: 55
    Last Post: 08-17-2013, 12:20 AM
  4. Why is your country of type X?
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 10-02-2009, 04:20 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO